How did you feel 1-2 years after having a baby?

[Tailfeather]

I feel awful. Not depressed, just constantly exhausted, run down, headaches and catch every bug going, so feel I constantly have a cold or virus or sick bug!

I had cancer 6 years ago and I have a very underactive thyroid and I'm trying to work out if it is down to one of these or if it's just what mums of young ones feel like. I've had tests on my thyroid. Apparently ok. I haven't seen my oncologist yet and am terrified to.

My baby is 20 months old and sleeps really well, but I do run my own business so have to juggle that with doing my best to be a great mum! It's just so hard when I am always lacking energy. My husband is really hands on - but works away a lot.

Check out the various things you have mentioned, there can be a difference between normal and low end of normal for tests

Since having kids all colds go straight to my chest, and I am more run down than before

But over time I can feel it easing - at 14-15 months for DD2 it turned a corner, and it will get better - although I read one thing that said up to 7 years to recover from having a child!

I don’t have kids but I just asked my sister who I’m with now (she has a 1 year old and a 5 year old) and she said she feels completely exhausted and unwell 98% of the time these days. She gets broken sleep and also runs a business with a partner who works away a lot. She also feels like she’s aged dramatically and looks noticeably shattered

Unfortunately bugs ricochet off young children and hit the parents, it gets better at about 3 years and then starts again when they hit all the new germs at school. By age 8 you should have caught most things and it calms down.
It sounds counter intuitive but I find exercise helps with energy levels, I know its hard but even a 20 minute walk with your buggy?

Your tiredness doesnt sound too unusual considering your lifestyle tbh, but if you even a teeny bit worried you should talk to your oncologist. Theyll probably reassure you but if there is an issue the sooner you deal with it the better.

I was going to post the same question yesterday. I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old and work full time so I expect to feel tired. My youngest has only just started sleeping, before she was up every 2 hours so I put my tiredness down to that.
I did have low iron but that's ok now according to my doctor.
The thing is I sleep better now and I don't feel poorly as in having an actual bug but I still feel constantly exhausted and just unwell but can't put my finger on it.
My body feels like it's never recovered from lack of sleep this whole year but I don't know how to change that.
I took a day off to sleep recently but it made little difference. I go to the gym now but again I come away on my knees.
I'm thinking it must be normal for parents.

@pitterpatterrain 7 years?!!  Thanks for replying. Glad you're feeling more energised!

@Frosty66611 Sounds similar. I feel I have aged massively too!

My baby is only four monthd and I'm.shatttered constantly. I'm starting to feel more human and have started dieting now to loose baby weight and try to exercise more. I seem to constantly have a cold though!

@BillywilliamV I have a dog so we do a dog walk every day. I do miss swimming and going to the gym - but the only chance I get during the week is when my husband gets back from work at about 8.30 - but all I want to do then is have dinner, a bath and then bed.

I have my annual appointment with my oncologist in a couple of months so will definitely mention it then.

Thank you. X

@boomerang1 Sorry you're suffering too. I didn't sleep well when I was pregnant either so feel like I've been exhausted for years!!! Hopefully it will get better. X

I've got 20mo and 3yo. I do have phases of being ill a lot, especially in winter but it's just bugs from nursery. I feel alright generally.

DS is 2 and I went back to work ft when
he was 1. I’m a LP so that might have an impact.,.

I’ve aged about 15 years in the last two. I’m constantly ill - just recently had to take a week off work because I had flu. Full flu. DS had a sniffle.
Had a battery of blood tests because dr thought I MUST have something wrong.
A folic acid deficiency (and a precancerous cervix- but that’s a different story). Other than that- fuck all.

I feel dry, shattered, old, fuzzy headed and anxious 95% if the time. I’m asleep the other 5%.
Everything has been affected- teeth, hair, skin, eyes.... I’m a wreck.

I wouldn’t not have him- love the bones of him- but fuck me having a baby has ruined my health and my looks.

DD is 17m. I found the first year easy to be honest. I was blessed with a good sleeper and enjoyed the freedom of pottering around on maternity leave with my only real priority being to look after the baby.

Then the expectations change as mums start returning to work. I'm running my own business, have had trouble with DD's childcare which saw me having to juggle DD and work which meant I didn't do a good job of work or a good job of parenting and the house is constantly a tip. I'm knackered because I work whenever DD is sleeping which means I a) go to bed very late, b) never put my feet up because I'm either looking after DD, working or trying to keep on top of life admin/cleaning.

Last week I hit rock-bottom. I stayed up until 4am one night to meet a work deadline, then DD woke at 5:40am. Then very unusually she didn't sleep the following night. I thought I was going to crumble.

That's how I feel.

Dd is 18mo and I'm pregnant with dc2 and I feel like I'm dying of tiredness. If there wasn't those two obvious reasons for my fatigue I'd be at the doctors convinced I had an awful illness. I still kind of think I might be actually ill but I get the impression from mums of two I know that this will just be my normal energy level from now on. Currently have dd's cough and am on nausea medication throughout this pregnancy. Sorry for rambling on- I understand that exhausted feeling Op and having a toddler is full on.

DS is 2. He's at nursery full time, though, as DP and I both need to work (financially and for our sanity). Still constantly fucking exhausted.

Hmm. I'm 41, have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old, work part time, am single, and have an underactive thyroid aswell as the most horrifucly heavy periods. I feel shattered, mostly . I'm not sure my brain is functioning correctly.

Pregnant.
I was pregnant when dc1 was 13months and when dc2 was 19months.
Dc3 is now 7 months and there's no plan for a dc4! So I'll let you know next year.
Totally shattered for now. Flabby, weak, exhausted... and happy!

Haven't had a full nights sleep in 7 months and I don't know how I function some days (have 2 other dc as well) and I'm in my 40's. Likewise Wakeup, I might be convinced that I was ill if there wasn't an obvious explanation. Recently, I've had a cold and have struggled to shake the last bit of it off. Sleep has a lot to do with how I am feeling I think: today I am feeling weepy and out of sorts, my middle dc has been playing up (because they are also tired). It does get easier eventually but having a young baby, it's going to be a while - I don't like wishing time away because it is precious and if I think about things too much, I start to feel really daunted (having a toddler etc.) I am still carrying about 2 stone of excess weight and struggling to shift it (still breastfeeding) and also comfort eating a bit thyroid might be a bit out of kilter also though nothing has been flagged up so far.

Oh yes 3, I forgot to add that despite it all, I am also very happy (was told I was unlikely to have any more children after my first dc.) but I have also had dc2 and 3 much later which also carries with it various pros and cons.

My DC was 3 nearly 4 before I started to feel less shattered. I was still taking naps on the sofa when he wasn't!! It's relentless, exhausting and yes to that low-level feeling of general unwellness. It does pass though, IME.

I have a 6.5 year old and a 2 year old. I'm really tired but have started to have more good days that not in recent months.

My first was very sickly for the first three years so that was very tough. Constant illness, sleepless nights - it felt relentless. I was hugely lacking in Vit D and iron the discovered when he was 2.5 and felt a lot better once I hit in top of that.

My second has been easier but I'm still shattered. I've had a few days off sick this year which is very unlike me but I've picked but viruses I can't shake off. I've take better care of myself thus time around. Lowered expectations, taken vitamins, go to bed early/nap in the day. Boring but helps.

I've just remembered I ran a half marathon at some point between dc2 and dc3 so I must've felt pretty good then!

Thanks all. It's not uncommon then.

@INeedNewShoes This is my problem too. I'm up with my DS, look after him, go to work, then look after DS, then work once he's in bed. Work most weekends too. There's absolutely zero downtime.

@TheSheepofWallSt I get that too. Eg DS got a 24 hour sniffle a few weeks ago. I caught it and ended up with 3 weeks of bronchitis. And obviously no time to actually rest or anything.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE my little boy. And love my job. I am happy. It's just that I constantly feel like crap. I was just worried something was wrong with me. But while I am sorry that you are suffering too, I appreciate your replies and am less worried. X

@Nottalotta I suffered from the most horrifically heavy and painful periods too, until I was desperate and asked on here if anyone had done anything to supplement their thyroxine. Loads of women said they'd tried gluten free and it worked for them. Have you tried it? I was really dubious and thought it was quite faddy, but gave it a go and it has made such a difference. My periods are lighter, less painful and regular.

Might be worth a try?

Well 19 months after having my first I had a newborn too and felt frankly horrific! Constantly ill, aching and run down. I think it was mainly the prolonged sleep deprivation (DD1 didn’t sleep through the night until 3.5 and we threw a newborn into the mix) and strain on my body.
20 months after DD2 was born I’d started to feel vaguely human again I think. Nowhere near ‘top form’ though. They’re 4 and 3 now and I’m 31 weeks pregnant with our third!

I'd kind of forgotten about this, but now I've read the thread it's all come rushing back!

I have 13 months between mine. I went back to work FT for the grand total of 3 months when DD was 8.5 months, then after DS was born I had to go back FT when he was 5 months due to money.

DS was an appalling sleeper and when I first went back I was so tired and constantly ill. I've no idea how I made it to / through work for the first year or so after going back.

We went through the gamut of illnesses when DD started preschool at 2, and DS then started the year later, but we'd already been through most bugs. And again with school, we all got ill when DD started, but DS started last September and we seem to have dodged everything other than a few sniffles.

It's only the last year or so that I would say I've been back on form properly (and now I've gone and ruined it by damaging my shoulder and wrecking my sleep again!).

You will start to feel normal again, but it's not a fast process, sadly!