I can't delete a friend's number...

[cjt110]

He died last January.

I changed phones and lost our last text exchanges.

Had a tidy up of of my contacts recently but I can't delete his number.

Is that daft?

Not daft. I still have the numbers of a few friends who’ve died. Text messages, emails, wasapp conversations. I also have the last birthday card my dad wrote me in the 1980s.

Still got my dads number and old texts 3 years on. I inadvertently deleted his voicemails last year. I was devastated!

And my screensaver was his picture up until yesterday funnily enough, when I replaced it with my newborn grandsons photo.

My Mum uses the phone I bought Dad when he could no longer use it due to his dementia progressing.

The number is stil saved on my phone as Dad, he died at Easter and I don't think I'll ever be able to change the name in my phone phonebook. So it's bittersweet every time I phone my Mum.

Funny isn't it the connection that they may need to contact us. Something so significant too about the deletion of a number.

My Aunt changed my Grandma's voicemail when she died - thinking practically - they were all so sad when they realised they couldn't hear her voice anymore.

I can't drive past my Grandma's home now. 12 years on. Fortunately we live far away but when I visit (ILs live there) I'll go out of my way not to pass.

I think of my colleague most days. Silly things remind me of him. Is that daft too?

No. Fondly remembering people we liked and loved is never daft. My uncle died last month, we have even had his funeral yet. I think of him all the time.

Not daft at all. I kept a jar of (open) olives in the back of my fridge for five years because they were the last thing my Nana gave me before she died.

I often think though I must be daft after all he was a colleague. Not family. Although we spent 7 hours a day side by side in our office without much in the way of other colleagues.

I've only ever lost my Grandma and Richard.

Like you say, you doeand 7+ hours a day with your colleagues. That’s half your waking hours! Of course you are going to miss them. A colleague who you a friendly with is a joy, you can often spend more time with them than your family.

@bubbles092 yeah she is. They searched everywhere, they drained and trawled lakes and ponds, did multi state searches, and she's listed as missing. It's been over five years though. She was American so the missing person thing was done by default. I miss her a lot.

I tried to get a last spoken message to me from mum onto computer. It worked but it's very feint.

My colleague, who I counted as a close friend, died unexpectedly 3 years ago, I still have her number in my phone and all our old messages. I expect I'll keep them till phone technology changes so much they disappear on their own.

This thread has reminded me of this poem, which sums it all up and always wrenches my heart a little bit:

m.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/long-distance-ii

I have 9 facebook friends who have passed away. I can't bring myself to delete them, I like thinking of them, both when they pop up in my 'memories' on there and on their birthdays. They were my friends when they died, nothing changed that.

OMG elephants what have you done to me! That poem is perfect. I’m crying my eyes out! I’m going to a close relatives funeral next week. We live several hundred miles apart, so our friendship had largely been by text for the last few years, but frequent long, mad, crazy chats.

My grandad had multiple FB accounts and a complicated password system. I managed to delete some of the accounts when he died but one still remains that I cannot figure out how to get in to but I find it quite comforting when his profile pic pops up every now and then. Also have nan and grandad in my phone. The house is about to be sold but I'm not deleting it yet.

I had a friend through my stepsons activity. He moved away from doing that and we lost touch. I was devastated to learn she had died unexpectedly. I have changed phones several times since. But I still have our jokey conversations saved and her number. I can’t do it.

I also hate getting a new diary for the year and transferring birthdays etc across when you have lost someone in that year. I always find it heartbreaking to miss them out for the following year.

Not daft at all. I never deleted my dad's number. It feels so final.

Totally normal. My Mum died 6 years ago and I still have hers. Texts have long gone though

Thanks for the poem Elephants. X

I have iphone calendar reminders of birthdays. I have a few of these of people who have died too.

This is a very comforting thread.
The only company I haven't contacted about my mum's death (died in August) is BT. I really must as I will be settling her estate and need all the bills. She lived 400 miles away and we spoke most days. I quite often ring her number accidentally as that's who'd I normally be ringing if using the landline. She didn't really use her mobile. I wouldn't describe us as close but I do seem to have a real block on this! Everything else has been dealt with.

I'm glad this thread has shown people they are not alone in wanting to savour contact with their loved ones.

Oh that poem