Grief and coping

[thatisamoopoint]

I lost my Dad a couple of months ago and we were really close and it's awful but although I miss him, he was very poorly and ready to die. He was young (65) but had cancer for 10 years so not an unexpected death and so I feel like it was his time and that I'd almost come to terms with it before it happened. But I feel like people are judging me for not being upset enough all the time! How do you manage other peoples expectations for your grief?

By gently reminding them that not all grief is the same.

It's different for every person and can vary according to how someone has died as well.

Thank you Becca, i agree totally, I just think others are judgemental about my capacity to compartmentalise and then decide I'm either I denial or I was never close to my dad

Sod them all, OP. They don’t get to decide how you handle your bereavement.
When someone is ill for a long time, a lot of grieving is done in advance, and the actual death is sometimes almost a relief. You do not have to apologise, or play the role people are expecting of you.
Let them know if there is anything they can do to help you, but don’t be burdened by their expectations.
Work through this in your own time and your own way. Sending my prayers for your dad, and peace and strength for you.

Babdoc, you've articulated exactly how I feel, thank you so much, it's powerful knowing others understand!