DD birthday tomorrow and aunt has died today

[Kerrieanne87]

Hi everyone this is my first post on here. So tomorrow is my DD's first birthday which is obviously a very exciting and special day. We had planned a small family get together at our house with the grandparents, some a few balloons up, a nice meal and Birthday cake so nothing big at all. However this evening my uncles wife has just passed away. She had been sick for many months now so we knew it was coming soon. The people coming tomorrow are literally my DH parents and my mum only. Now I don't know what to do about tomorrow as on one hand, my side of the family is grieving however it is still my little girls first birthday and I'm not sure whether going ahead with that small celebration at home would seem insensitive to my uncle and cousins, Any advice please xx

I dont think its unreasonable or insensitive to still celebrate your child’s birthday.

I would talk to your mum, if she is the only one coming who is affected-- is it her SIL? Presumably the party is not all day so she could pop over to your uncle and then come to you. It might be different if all your cousins etc were invited but as it is if your mother is up for it then I would go ahead as planned and raise a glass to her.

I think you should send flowers (or whatever is the appropriate & usual thing in your family) to your uncle. Ask your mum if she wants to attend the birthday still.

Then evaluate: if I were your uncle I'd like you to go ahead. I'd feel crap if you cancelled your plans, actually.

But having said that, if your mum doesn't feel like celebrating when her brother has just lost his dw, or wants to support him & his kids that day, honestly, I'd postpone the cake etc - your dc doesn't know it's their birthday?

OR host your in laws as planned, but do a nice lunch with your mother, dh & dc another day?

Thank you all for your opinions, my mum has gone to see him tonight and staying there for the night. She'll come tomorrow as it's just a lunch and then me and her will go and visit my uncle Monday together xx