Ill and living alone

[Becca19962014]

I'm unwell at the moment and all I keep hearing from everyone is I need bed rest and to stay there for a week to get better. I live alone. And by alone I mean alone. Every person who "offered" to help when asked decided not to. I live somewhere very small so cannot store much food. I've been ill like this for over a month now (tonsillitis which isn't getting better).

So without going off the deep end and shrieking like a crazy woman at people about how alone means alone and I've no fucking choice but to go out and be ill how do I get people to understand I cannot just stay in bed? It's not like I can sleep anyway as my throat is closing up -combination of tonsils and Ehlers Danlos. So I'm reading or watching DVDs and getting the odd hour or two of sleep during the day and night.

People includes GPs, pharmacists and nurses as well as others I've seen when out getting food/meds.

The only family I have is abusive and people are now suggesting I go back to them "just until I get better", they weren't prosecuted so apparently it couldn't have been that bad. If I go back I won't get away again.

I can't be the only person in this position, so how do others manage?

Internet shopping ?

I live alone. When I'm ill I sleep a lot.

I should also mention the people who offered to help don't actually live alone so have a partner/family nearby and don't understand that as I don't my situation is very different and, people did help to begin with but expect me to be better now.

Antibiotics didn't work and I'm not allowed anymore as the throat swab was clear for strep though I've been given metronidazole for severe BV to start taking tomorrow I don't think that works for anything else.

No internet shopping here. Too rural. And I need to get meds.

I can't sleep and I must eat because of my diabetes, I can't just stay in bed as long as I want to.

You can get meds via the mail (prescription)? How often are you going out ? Tbh staying in bed 24/7 is not the best, so getting a bit of fresh air will probably help ?

You just do the best you can and ignore them. I was living alone in a new city when I got double pneumonia. Take care, OP! I hope you feel better soon!

Do you have a local shop? If you phoned them and explained, they might do a cash on delivery for some food.

Do you have a neighbour you could ask?

Maybe I am being stupid but I don’t understand why you can’t go out, stock up on meds and non perishable food and then spend the rest of your time in bed or on the sofa.

pringle without going into too much detail I must go to pharmacy every day for meds so I am definitely not in 24/7.

clever that's what I've been doing. Literally all I've been doing. But I've begun getting unwell (collapsing) doing it.

I'm definitely not a stay at home all day every day person, despite suffering with agoraphobia, I go out every day (those two sound like a conflict I know but it's true if I have a day I don't go out I really suffer for it with my mh so really try to go out).

I should also add that food is from local shop, not a supermarket and meds from a local pharmacy (less than a mile each way). I'm not exactly walking miles for food/meds but I'm really struggling to do it and being told to slow down I'm doing too much.

Can you just do the bare minimum?

So go and get your daily meds, make sure you have supplies and then rest (if not sleep) for the rest of the time?

Have you been back to GP if you are still so unwell after a month?

Being ill is horrible but as you have no dependants it should be a bit easier to get some decent rest?

cities that's a good idea I'll try that, they know me very well there.

Not everyone's been a shit about it. The taxi company I use have given me some free fares when I've been unwell.

I've just had a real day today and, feeling like I'm going to snap at someone! Hence the thread. Tomorrow is a hard anniversary for me so that might also be contributing to me feeling snappy!

Will the chemist deliver to you? they will round here.
Go on Facebook for your area and ask if someone will do your shopping and you'll pay them a few pounds and for fuel. You will get someone offering to do it I'm sure.

crunchy that's what I'm doing but it's getting worse. It's already spread once and meant emergency antibiotics (I've had three lots tomorrow's is my fourth). I've been back to GP they said I have to put up with it for another month before more investigations. But people are starting to notice. I've massive hospital phobia and only going where people know me so they're helping me home, except sometimes people, will phone an ambulance and then I'm getting told to not go out/go back to my family/it's just a sore throat..

I am resting, I'm either in bed propped up listening to an audio book or reading or watching DVD. My main problem is food/meds every two hours and not missing them, my diabetes is messed up from being ill so I need to be especially careful at the moment.

I had a bacterial culture done and it was fine apparently. The really stupid thing is my throat isn't that sore anymore, it's literally the swollen tonsil and lymph nodes I'm struggling with.

Im not eligible, they won't deliver meds on weekends and I must speak to pharmacist.

I'm nervous about asking for help from strangers as it feels like I'm advertising how vulnerable I am when out (have PTSD). I'll have a think about Facebook.

Swollen tonsil/lymph nodes are effecting my breathing. I'm not choking so it's not seen as an urgent issue.

Why do you have to pick up meds every day? What sort of meds are they?

hollow I don't want to go into the details of that, however, I cannot have more than a day of them so must go every day. I cannot go without them without being very ill.

pretend I'm sorry to hear you understand, though it does help to know im not alone. I hope that doesn't sound really awful because I don't mean it to!

I’m really sorry op. Sounds tough really tough
You’re doing the best you can You know your limits/ needs re the diabetes If your family really are awful then you can’t go there- ignore those who say otherwise
I think just do the essentials with food and meds
. Then lots of rest and fluids

It sounds like you would benefit from being an in patient in a hospice type place. Do they even still exist? Can a GP or health visitor deliver to meds to you? Is there a charity you can ask for help from? Or even adult social care?

Becca, I truly sympathise with your plight, but when you're feeling a little better, you might want to think about your living circumstances going forward. Is living totally alone and unsupported, in the middle of nowhere, with the general health conditions you have, really the best idea?

I could ask social worker I see sometimes, though when I asked a couple of months ago the answer was no as I was able to go see them (they see me in a community centre five minutes walk away) so my functioning is too high but I'll ask. Right now I'm scared I'll lose what little functioning/independence I'm hanging onto. I know to some it might seem nothing but to me it's everything.

Thanks for the suggestions!

I also live alone - but I'm in a position where I could ask the neighbours to bring food when they do their own shopping. I know you said you were in such a small place that you can't keep much but how small? Could you manage a few tins of rice pudding or similar and a bag of porridge and lentils, stock cubes? That would be incredibly boring to eat but would keep you going for a few days and be soft.