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What’s a professional way of saying someone’s a bitch to work with

30 replies

retainertrainer · 17/10/2018 07:28

...abrasive,aggressive,not a team player,egotistical,lazy.

How can I express that tactfully and succinctly?

OP posts:
AwdBovril · 17/10/2018 07:30

Negative attitude, unmotivated, overbearing?

Whatsnewwithyou · 17/10/2018 07:31

I think the most you can usually say is that she is "a difficult person." But it depends on who you're talking to and why.

Spinterest · 17/10/2018 07:31

I thought employers these days just stated the dates of employment and reason the employee gave for leaving. It avoids repurcussions.

POPholditdown · 17/10/2018 07:34

Uncooperative

Winkybum · 17/10/2018 07:38

Challenging to work with.

MakeLemonade · 17/10/2018 07:41

‘Has some important development areas that we didn’t make as much progress on as we would have liked’

Then you can follow up with specific examples. I probably wouldn’t put it in writing unless you can evidence performance management though.

retainertrainer · 17/10/2018 07:42

I’ve been saying difficult to work with but I wondered if there was a better phrase. I think that’ll have to do though.

Management are dealing with them,I’m the same level as them. People from other departments are coming to me to have a bitch basically and I don’t want to join in with it but I do want to express that that I agree with what they’re saying.

OP posts:
User212787555 · 17/10/2018 07:45

It depends in what context. If you are mentioning in person to your manager in a confidential chat, I think you could say abrasive, not a team player, not pulling her weight etc. but I’d hesitate to put those things in writing lest they are shown to her/others and it comes back to bite you.

I think if you have specific examples of her being abrasive then that word is professionally acceptable if you are attempting to be constructive. Aggressive is stronger, but again in context descriptive if you have examples. Not team player is pretty safe. I wouldn’t say egotistical as that’s subjective.

Don’t put any of it in a reference as you are leaving yourself open to come back if she fails to get a job based on it.

happinessischocolate · 17/10/2018 07:50

I think you saying you know the person is difficult to work with is fine.

I might start using that for my colleague, sounds better than "I'm going to kill her if she does that again " 😁

LEMtheoriginal · 17/10/2018 07:50

Cunt usually sums it up - i should know, i work with eough of them

retainertrainer · 17/10/2018 07:53

Hahahahaha Lem, you must have met him.

He’s racist to boot. Weirdly though he comes across as a really nice person-chatty, funny, down to earth. I’ve never met someone before who I like a detest in equal measure.

OP posts:
SassitudeandSparkle · 17/10/2018 07:54

Not a team player seems fine to me. Agree with Askme that abrasive is probably a safer bet than aggressive.

If this is someone who pursues their own agenda/project to the exclusion of everyone else's, perhaps something about being unable to balance workload/prioritise or unable to see the bigger picture/vision?

flumpybear · 17/10/2018 07:54

It really depends on who it is and in what capacity
I've described people as 'authoritarian' which means they're a bully, but that's usually if they're a manager

Uncooperative works quite well or 'plays ping pong against a frozen wall' = not really a team player

I recently described somebody as quite defensive under a spikey facade = total arse on the outside who can't perform their job once you scratch the surface

sashh · 17/10/2018 07:55

It has been difficult to establish a professional working environment with X. Their presence and work ethic has a negative impact on the productivity of the group. Attempts to counsel X have not been well received and have further impacted negatively on the group.

flumpybear · 17/10/2018 07:56

Your comment just now I'd say 'duplicitous '

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 17/10/2018 08:05

Yes, they’re quite unique.

lljkk · 17/10/2018 19:45

You can always say the opposite. "Not easy to work with". "Challenging"

Believeitornot · 17/10/2018 19:46

Well are you talking to about their behaviour? If it’s then then you give specific examples and set out how you feel when they do certain things.

Believeitornot · 17/10/2018 19:46

*them

LEMtheoriginal · 17/10/2018 20:02

Racist? Duplicitous? Sounds like my ex boss!

TSSDNCOP · 17/10/2018 20:05

I always say “if enough people are saying the same thing about you, it’s probably the case they’re right”

SwedishEdith · 17/10/2018 20:08

'Personality clash'?

AviatorShades · 17/10/2018 20:12

Exacting?

Bluetrews25 · 17/10/2018 20:27

'Reminds me of my MIL', perhaps?
Wink

purplepigs · 17/10/2018 23:25

Say calmly

Do you realise how you make me feel
You make me feel like this
When you do this I think this
Do you realise how you come across

Those might work
Plus they are questions which force people even horrible people to REFLECT even if they don't realise they are doing it

Perfect