I’m in such a tangle with a ‘friend’...although not sure if that is even the right word! To give some context, we go way, way back but became much closer when we ended up living near each other, became part of the same social circle and our husbands became good friends. We live very close to each other. Our lives became quite entangled but at the same time there was always this sense of us being bound together by history rather than the fact we actually get on on a day-to-day basis.
We’re very different...she is scatty, chaotic, can be great fun but also gets very caught up in her own life and can be inconsiderate. She is probably the kind of friend who is better at a distance and seen once in a blue moon! She has the ability to get under my skin like no-one else. I don’t know why this is. I don’t know if it’s having such a link to the past or the fact that we can have really great fun together when she’s in the right mood.
I feel increasingly tired of this friendship but can’t seem to get any emotional or actual distance from her. I feel like I need a break but it’s impossible, given our circumstances. It’s like we can’t get on but always end up bouncing back together. The same problems always resurface. I feel a bit like a puppet on a string. I do really care about her but she blows hot and cold a lot, and it makes me sad. If I let contact slide, she eventually gets in touch or I do. We can’t seem to let each other go completely.
I don’t want to spend years in this situation with her but it’s making me increasingly unhappy. She’s never going to change and I need to take a step back but just don’t know how.