How many invitations before you stop inviting?

[BirthdayPlans]

DS wants a friend to play. Have tried a few times to invite but never managed it. Last time, the mum said last Tues that she would let me know for Wed or Fri this week. Still not heard.
Assume her DD doesn't want to come and stop inviting? At what point would you just get pissed off with me inviting your child over?

Thing is DS's birthday is coming up and he wants to invite her. But I don't know if I should assume on this basis that an invitation will be unwelcome and try to put him off the idea of a party?

Yes the school sounds awful - do they go via bus to it.

I would look into a different school environment for your child. Do you have a plan and diagnosis in place

It's more complicated with children as obviously they depend on a parent to facilitate this. I would keep trying.

Yes, we had a meeting with school. We absolutely did not want to switch him to the parallel class as we didn't want him to have to start over socially. Both teachers and Headmaster present. Basically Teacher 1 said she had three difficult kids and her hands full and would have no time for him. Teacher 2 said she had a calm quiet class who could be left alone to work so she would be able to dedicate more time to him.
It was made clear that if we had refused to switch and there had been any problems they would have said it was our choice.
Yes, TA, plan etc in place.

Literally just had a message from the mum - can't do tomorrow after school because they're going to visit her dad as it's his birthday tomorrow.

Fine, but surely she knew that last week when I spoke to her! How should I answer her?

I often just say let me know when you're free if they've said they're busy and then of course they don't lol. It's either that or just suggest another day you can do

Difficult one OP but you don't want to appear like you're pestering her, I would maybe pull back a bit, you can still always invite them to your DS bday, include the Mum too? Perhaps she'd feel more comfortable with this? I wouldn't leave my DS at someone's house that I hadn't been to myself, but they are a bit younger.

I don't think you need to worry about pestering. Either day let me know when you're free or suggest a date and say let me know if you fancy it anyway. Leave it in her hands. Forget about it. She probably won't reply but that's all we can do for our children.

Initial invitation was to L, or L plus mum and sibling (who is half a year younger than DD) if L didn't want to come alone.