Please help - baby waking every 30 minutes

[ShinySloth]

I'm in a state of utter despair, which I know is due to lack of sleep, and would really appreciate any advice.

My baby is 4.5 months. Until a month ago, was sleeping really well, with a long block of sleep from 4hrs to 8hrs each night. Then this changed and the block became shorter , and she was waking every 2hrs for a feed. Tiring but ok.

Yesterday and tonight something's changed again. She's now waking in anything from 5mins to 35mins when put down in her cot. Not longer. She's crying each time, until picked up. When picked up she stops instantly and settles back to sleep but cries again if put down before she's entered a deeper sleep.

I thought she might be teething so gave Calpol tonight at midnight but it hasn't helped! I'm scared she might be ill and I'm missing it.

I haven't had any sleep at all tonight yet. Not sure co-sleeping would help but would try it if I could work out how to do it safely in our bed - I think we need a guard rail but none seem to be safe for babies?

Sorry this is so rambling, thanks for reading.

Google 4 month sleep regression!

Mines a big lump of 17 now, but I remember plus I've been a nanny/childminder/babysitter for many years.

Could also be teething, feeling a bit chilly now temperatures dropping, hitting a growth spurt, about to drop a nap...

Unlikely to last more than a week or 2.

Thanks @Graphista - does this sound normal to you then, from your experience? I have heard of the 4 month sleep regression but didn't think it would be so extreme!

I'm not sure how to cope and actually manage to get some sleep myself.

My first was like that. My current 6 month old is starting to be similar!

My only advice is to get in sleep when you can. My first slept so little for so long that I ended up going to bed at 7 for 3-4 hours with my husband staying up.

It will pass. Baby might need an extra blanket...it is getting colder.
Be very calm and subdued at night (I'm sure you already are)
Definitely sleep when you can....2 hours at 7pm is better than none at all.
Providing your health is Ok, you aren't taking meds, drinking, very over weight and youve got a good firm mattress (water mattress big no no) etc then co- sleeping is generally safe from what I've read. I would just lie baby on back right next to me...no pillow or duvet...just their own little blanket and wrap my arm round/ or over them loosely. Worked well for us.
Be kind to yourself in daytime.

Ring the gp first thing.
Ear infection?
Does she have a temp?

Is room too hot or cold for her?

I agree - for tonight set up your bed safely - kick your partner out. Take pillow away from his side. Put that pillow or something else on side of bed to stop baby falling out. Lay baby down on mattress next to you with her own bedding. Put an extra jumper on you and only put your duvet to your waist so it’s no where near her. Basically keep your duvet and pillows away from her and enjoy getting a bit of sleep!!

Sounds exactly what my first did during the 4-month sleep regression. Me and DH slept in shifts as the baby would only sleep upright. He held her in a chair from 9pm-2am, then I did 2am-7am (watching Netflix to stay awake). I fed her if she wouldn't settle even upright. It was awful but the worst of it did pass after around 10 days, when we discovered she'd be put down again, then waking every 2-3 hours. By 5 months she was only waking up once a night (her usual "routine").

Yes it does sound normal. My first was an awful sleeper. Second not so bad but I bed shared from birth second time which I think took the edge off it.

Thanks everyone, especially those who said it will pass! DH got up at 4 so I could sleep for a few hours then. I still feel pretty broken though.

I think tonight I definitely have to try co-sleeping, although I'm worried about her rolling off the bed or rolling into any pillow or barrier I've put to stop her...

I'm still scared she might be ill but she seems happy this morning with no temp, feeding normally and in the night stops crying instantly when picked up so doesn't seem likely?

Any more tales of babies who did this then stopped soon afterwards appreciated!

Mine didn't have this (currently have 9 month sleep regression instead) but a couple of friends had the same experience as you. It never lasted more than a couple of weeks for them.

It's your baby changing how they sleep as they grow up. If in a couple of weeks it hasn't stopped then you may want to consider some sleep training.

I’ve got a positive tale of it stopping soon after! My 8 month old did this a few weeks ago & I went bizarrely hysterical about it! I think it’s actually harder once they’ve been sleeping through/well because the shock of regressing feels brutal! I was up every 40 minutes for a few nights, then it lengthened gradually for a few more nights and we were getting two hour blocks, and after about a week she was sleeping again, in fact slightly better than she had been before! Hang in there, you could actually be on the edge of a sleep breakthrough.

Of course now I’ve written that down in a thread I fully expect to be up every 15 minutes tonight...

Hope you manage to get a bit of rest today at least.

Oh thank you @Daisywho, that's really encouraging! I agree, it definitely feels extra brutal after becoming accustomed to her sleeping really well!

Currently going through this with my 5.5 month baby!! It's hard going!! Feel better reading the positive stories. Thank you!!

I've been there truly hellish but BUT! it does get better..my son is now an amazing sleeper. Between the ages of 4 months and 18 months however he'd be crying every hour. For him it seemed to be separation anxiety, recurrent ear infections and not feeding well in the day. I co-slept a lot, did gradual retreat type stuff over months and months, added extra layers at night as he gets cold, bought a night light he has on all night. Only offered water (4 months is too young for this of course but if it does go on, stop the milk being a sleep crutch)...it meant I never did have the 3rd baby I thought I wanted though! You have my sympathy.

Sounds totally normal to me.

We co-slept (safely) and frankly I think if we hadn't there'd have been seriously harmful levels of sleep deprivation!

I was still married at the time so I also sometimes took myself off to bed when dds dad got in from work for a few hours sleep before he went to bed and then I'd take over until he got up (he was an early riser) and he'd have dd a couple hours before going to work. Then I'd take over again. Not ideal but manageable until it passes.

If not co-sleeping and baby waking when you put them into whatever they sleep in, I'd also say consider swaddling and also hearing their "bed" with a wheat bag or hot water bottle (which you remove before putting them in it), especially this time of year hitting a cold sheet can wake them.

Funny story - when the 18 month regression hit us all my knowledge and experience apparently deserted me! We wrongly kept the baby's room and the landing dark and were being VERY quiet - even watching tv mute with subtitles 😂😂. In a desperate attempt to get her to sleep. Eventually I broke down on my mum (eldest of 6 siblings and over 30 cousins, 3 of her own) and said how "we're not making a sound why is she still waking?!" Mum laughed and basically said - you're idiots! She's lonely! You've basically left her in a dark silent room thinking you've abandoned her and you're wondering why she's freaked out! Ummmmmmm oh yea! Put a night light on the landing (one in her room was too much) and started NOT being quiet, tv on at a good volume, pottering about upstairs, even hoovering! Vast improvement!

See - even us experts get it wrong sometimes!

Don't stress - you got this!

Mayhem - bit late for you now sorry, but at any point did anyone suggest humidifiers to you? Myself and many others think one of the reasons for repeated ear infections in babies could well be due to too well insulated and heated homes.