Are hospital letters supposed to do this?

[LanguidLobster]

I'd already had a letter from them about next appointment so wasn't expecting another one and opened it thinking it was something else but the first paragraph was describing how exceptionally nice I was.

I nearly kung fu kicked over the hospital bed last time I was in. I squinted suspiciously at this.

Is this Orwellian double speak? Just didn't expect that and wondered if that was standard speak which hospitals do

My son’s Consultant did this: ‘I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely little Boy and his Mother in clinic today...’

I thought it was really sweet, but also they know the patient/parent receives a copy so it was an element of flattery as well. I didn’t think about it being a little code from Dr to Dr about behaviour.

We have been told not to do this in referral letters.

I still include adjectives in reports to try and show that I see the child not just the diagnosis. Not sure if it actually works though eg. X is a energetic 4 year old boy with many areas of strength. He has xxxxxxx. / Y is a cheerful and enthusiastic child with difficulties with yyyyyy.

I didn't particularly like the consultant I saw but my opinion improved when his letter to the GP referred to me as this slimly built woman because I have spent all my life trying to control my weight.

Oh, that's hilarious (and has brought me right down to earth). I thought all my consultants really thought that.. Bet it is a code for general middleclassness. Damn.

speakeasy do you understand what's wrong with you & ask questions?

Speakeasy22 - very interesting woman is code for we haven't the faintest idea what is wrong with this lady! The symptoms don't give us the standard boring answers, so therefore it is interesting!

DH was once described as "an affable chap" in a hospital letter. It still makes me laugh - I always picture someone like Prince Philip dictating the letter.

It amuses me:

Ds has been described as "quiet" (well he was very ill at the time) "Lively" (we all know what that means!) "Enthusiastic" (yes, he's the child who asks questions all the way through the blood test about the procedure) and "cheerful" (that was when he described the blood test back to the doctor)

that's idiopathic - we know she has got this problem - but we are haven't the foggiest if we know why!

I was referred for bleeding in pregnancy as 'This obese lady'. I told the doctor she should have described me as cuddly. I lost the baby, but still kept my sense of humour.

"intelligent" means you've googles your ailment so have some idea what it is.

Many years ago my baby ds was referred to a consultant on suspicion he had a club foot. (He didn't). As we leaving the room the consultant was already dictating his letter "Thank you for referring this lovely young fellow to me.." Especially amusing as ds had slept throughout the entire examination.

My favourite ever was my specialist nurse (prolapse/pelvic floor) talking to my urogynaecologist on the phone while I was in the consulting room still “can you do her a referral for a pessary she can try out for running? She’s intelligent and quite comfy rummaging about in there.”

"intelligent" means you've googles your ailment so have some idea what it is.
I'm not sure doctors think googling your condition is a sign of intelligence

Yes ds2 paed does rhis i had the pleasure of meeeting the lovely little boy etc etc he has autism and learning disabillities and whilst he is lovely i cant imagine our appointments are pleasirable as hes turning taps on and taking his shoes off etc

I get “complex” a lot. I’m pretty certain it’s doctor speak for “no fucking idea”. I love being called young woman though.

Oh no! My latest letter just described me as "Thank you for referring this [age] [occupation] to me".

The thing you really want to avoid is 'This pleasant, well fed young lady'- thanks consultant, I'm aware I'm a size 16!

A locum gp had to refer me for a scan at the local maternity unit. My note read "this lovely, married lady...".

@MNOverinvestor so we're both middle class and unlikely to shackle the nurses to the door handles

Omg we're learning consultant speak

I didn’t realise they did this until reading a letter sent to FiL from the hospital it should I say “pleasant gentleman”

"This lively little boy" translates as "was bouncing off the walls and has a mean kick".

I usually get the same delightful lady etc but once had a look at DS’s hopsital notes when walking between departments. One particular did not refer to me so politely! I can’t remember the exact description but something along the lines of “saw this 4 year old and his difficult mother” or similar.

That was written by a junior doctor who had come to us after we had waited three hours for a routine appointment in a clinic and just said abruptly “so what”s wrong with him then?” In a really uncaring voice like I was returning a faulty toaster. My instinctive reply was “nothing is wrong with him” in a slightly shirty voice (as actually it was a precautionary check for something at a consultant’s request) to which he said “there must be something wrong with him if you’re here”. It didn’t start well...

—I was right there was nothing wrong with him that related to that department at all—

A pleasant child was supposed to mean you were thick in old school reports I was 'delightful' last time I was referred