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Original poster

Ever been to an under catered party?

446 replies

Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 17:37

Just back home from a party with a generous doggy bag and I remarked how I'd never been to an under catered party as the host was divvying up the leftovers. Cue lots of stories of horrifically under catered parties and weddings?

Other than a few occasions where I've known there won't be food, I've never experienced it? I've never had to share a burger at a BBQ or nip out for a super market sandwich at a wedding.

Is it really that common? What's the worst under catered event you've been to?

OP posts:
SenecaFalls · 17/10/2018 14:06

Have the buffet served, if at all possible.

This is what we did at my daughter's wedding. Servers dished out the food to the people in the buffet line. It added a little bit to the cost but it was well worth it. First of all, the vast majority of people did not ask for more than the servers were dishing out. The servings were quite generous, and I also think people feel less inclined to try to get more when they are face to face with a server. We also instructed the servers to tell anyone who was being particularly greedy and asking for extras that seconds would be available after everyone was served.

Roussette · 17/10/2018 14:16

Seneca I've been to a party/Ball like this and the food has been wonderful. It's a buffet but served by staff, generous portions and plenty of it. If you didn't like new potoatoes for instance, you could say so and they would offer bigger portions of something else. After everyone had been fed, you could go up and help yourself to what was left
Then for dessert, wonderful home made cheesecakes and pavlovas were put on the individual tables of 10, enough for everyone to have lots of each serving themselves. Then a huge cheese board was put on everyone's table.

It was a very civilised buffet

user1467718508 · 17/10/2018 14:21

I went to a wedding at a very naice aspirational ££ type London venue.

It looked as fancy as you'd expect, but obviously wasn't budget appropriate.

They ran out of booze within minutes; people were chopping from drink to drink. 'Oh, all of the wine is gone, let's have beer, oh all of the beer is gone, let's have elderflower presse'.

By the speeches we were toasting with water 

abacucat · 17/10/2018 15:01

320 traybakes for 200 people simply means that a lot of people had two. Not massive amounts. And if quite a few people were eating 2 or 3 portions of street food, the portions must have been fairly small.
And I have been at plenty of buffets were there is plenty of food, including events I have organised.

abacucat · 17/10/2018 15:23

This tool can help you work out how much to provide. So at a drinks party to replace a meal, it says you should provide 2 desserts per person, 4 meat, 4 vegetarian, 4 fish plus 2 extra. Or a working lunch - 1 dessert per person.
www.brake.co.uk/your-business/tools/party-calculator

NewYoiker · 17/10/2018 15:52

Went to a wedding. They paid for a very expensive fish buffet but the bride was 3 hours late and the food had been set out hours earlier and had to be binned before the reception started. So it was a bit of salad, no main, no cake no bar and no milk for the tea and coffee.

Brides family left half way to go and have a meal and came back

MissConductUS · 17/10/2018 16:20

but the bride was 3 hours late

That's quite a delay! Was she that late for the ceremony? Was she abducted by aliens?

Nellyelora · 17/10/2018 16:24

I'll probably be the greedy pig piling my plate high if I end up at another wedding in the middle of no where with an effing buffet. I've been shafted too many times!

NewYoiker · 17/10/2018 16:28

@MissConductUS I honestly don't know! The registrar left as she had another wedding to do and came back later to do it. It was at the top of old man conniston at the coppermines it pissed it down all day, there was no heating in the marquee attached to one of the cottages where they got married. A barrel of home brew was drunk before the bride arrived as everyone was starving and freezing.
We all got mugs as a wedding favour with our names on, but it was sharpied on and when hot the pen came off on your hand and because everyone was drunk by this point everyone had their own name on their face 

It was something else!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/10/2018 16:48

Those surprised by piggery at wedding buffets could do with taking a cruise and seeing what happens there. Back in the days when they supplied trays, many would take not one plate with a massive heap of food but two, leading to the old cruise joke about going on as a passenger and leaving as freight

Which is probably why many lines have removed the trays ...

kittykarate · 17/10/2018 16:54

I remember at my wedding the venue were advising me to buy the evening buffet 10% smaller than my number of guests. I politely declined, and had a sensible amount of food in the end. The best wedding I went to for food was at Leyton Orient football ground. The bride had got a local lebanese restaurant in to cater and the food was plentiful and delicious.

One thing that bugs me on buffets is when single serve things are too large, so if there is a baked potato, pork pie etc. it's not cut into half or quarter. Most people would like to try a little of everything, but if the individual serves are too large, then you end up with a heaped plate.

problembottom · 17/10/2018 17:14

We have an annual BBQ and the first two years we've done it we've been left with quite a lot of food afterwards which has taken up freezer space and annoyed me. So this year I thought I'd rein it in and not buy too much. We expected about 40 people as usual but about 60 turned up over the course of the day. And some of them liked a LOT of food! I was frantically defrosting rolls out of the freezer by the end of the day and worrying that the late arrivals weren't being catered for. We just about got away with it but I'm overcatering every year from now on, the thought of people not having enough food was awful.

SenecaFalls · 17/10/2018 17:46

Every party DH and I have hosted we have had food left over. But I live in the southern US, where there are strong cultural norms in favor of hospitality. Being stingy with food and drink at a party will get you talked about, and not in a good way, for years to come.

MissConductUS · 17/10/2018 19:42

Being stingy with food and drink at a party will get you talked about, and not in a good way, for years to come.

I think that's true anywhere in the US. At my son's graduation party we decided on served meals from a limited menu in part because all of the choices were on the restaraunt's regular menu, so we knew that they couldn't run out of any of them. We had hot passed hors d'oeuvres to take the edge off of people's appetites and then they got a full portion of whatever they wanted for the main course, and then cake of course.

Family came from three states for the party. I'd have died of embarrassment if anyone had left hungry.

OliviaStabler · 17/10/2018 19:54

Honestly it is not. Even where there is plenty of food, why would you want to go back and queue again to get a bit of food?

Yes it is. You start out with a decent plate of food and go back for more (if there is more) once everyone attending has had their turn. Not to do so is the hallmark of a greedy pig.

abacucat · 18/10/2018 00:05

Olivia What exactly in your view is an acceptable amount of food to put on your plate?

Getonthatbroomandfly · 18/10/2018 00:31

I went to a wedding reception (gave them £30 in a card) and they had no evening buffet. And didn't even cut the cake up for guests.

They did spend £1,200 on fireworks for us all to look at though!

RavenLG · 18/10/2018 00:40

Work 'well done' party for primarily my team for winning an award, but the whole department we're invited. Ordered pizza and bits from dominoes for maybe 30 people and 1 normal sized cake for a department of like 60+ people. I had 1 slice of pizza and not even a crumb of cake... I did have 2 glasses of prosecco and subsequently was useless for the rest of the day and did nothing but declare I was hungry loudly lol.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 18/10/2018 01:04

What exactly in your view is an acceptable amount of food to put on your plate?

As a rule of thumb, If there is space between the food on your plate that’s acceptable. If it’s piled in a heap, that’s greedy.

DeRigueurMortis · 18/10/2018 02:03

Re: acceptable amount...

I've seen people take plates that would rival the leaning tower of Pisa....

Honestly, beautiful poached salmon smothered under layers of carefully cooked and herbed meat, bound with a vegetarian pumpkin risotto (as mortar) topped with (multiple types of) salad drenched in (multiple) dressing(s) and "finished" with cheese and biscuits and a slice of dessert - nope not just the cherry on top, but a slice of chocolate/cherry torte with cream. All on one plate....and joking along side equally uncouth buddies on how to do the same, which they eagerly obliged (for a limited period only until we saw what was happening).

A lesson in how to take good food and trash it....and yes lots got left because salmon with cherry chocolate isn't a good combo. It also does not mean you get to "try again" with another plate (assuming you have any manners). As you were told at the time - trying to get "seconds" after wasting "firsts" before everyone had a chance to eat (and then getting pissy with me/friend) was simply not cricket.

Assuming you have a regular sized dinner plate then you are "over" a reasonable amount when you see the need to change it from a bungalow to to a 2 storey house (perfectly reasonable if it's a side plate for a "main" meal but a 2 story house only and don't mix courses on your plate).

When you "extend" your house into a tower block and start eating backwards through the storeys from cheese, dessert, main and starter (or indeed have a tower made up of any of the items in such quantity that your plate is over 10cm high) then you're officially a CF.

Yes, I'm talking about you if you recognise the menu and came to my friends 35th I helped cater for and piled standard sized dinner plates as high as your head....

RumerGodden · 18/10/2018 07:03

I've had the opposite....the most over catered fab wedding invite ever....

New Jersey wedding, like something off a reality TV show. Huge venue just for weddings.

We arrive at 6pm to a very fancy room full of mood lighting like a night club and walls lined with tables and a central table, all groaning with the best deli food New jersey could offer. All being served as well, hot and cold, constantly refreshed etc....think....amazing cold cuts, fab cheeses, every type of bread, olive, cornichon, freshly sliced oxheart tomatoes with fresh basil and mozza, carvery stations too, fresh hot pasta stations, fritto misto....EVERYTHING. Open bar, beer, wine, cocktails.

I thought it was a bit less formal than I was expecting but everyone was tucking in and happily mingling.

90 minutes later.....ladies and gentlemen....please make your way to the main function room for the evening meal!!!!!!!!

Seated for a generous 2 course evening meal, choice of 2 starters and 3 mains (not dumped alternately either, you could choose). Wedding festivities indeed! Delicious, great salmon, top notch steak etc, field mushroom veg option etc.

Giant wedding cake...it's wheeled out of view then we are called to another room for the dessert buffet! Giant cake (with extra layers) in two flavours all sliced and ready, plus 4 tables groaning with every type of pie, pudding, cake, biscuit or petit four you can think of. All from good quality Italian bakery.

Being New Jersey, there are, of course, also styrofoam containers as guests are expected to pack themselves a doggy bag of wedding cake or desserts etc. There is enough for everyone to eat cake and take 6 pieces home! Everyone does!

But that is not all.......there is also, in the next room, a candy buffet, with wedding colour themed candies of every type imaginable, all beautifully presented, again with doggy bag facilities for everyone to take a kilo of wedding candy as a memento! Staggering!

Finally, a spirit trolley the size of a coffee cart is wheeled out as coffee and chocolates are served, including all sorts of nightcap style liqueurs and top notch scotch. I shudder to think how much the catering cost.

Best feed I have ever had at a wedding!

As a PS -several large family pre-wedding supper parties in the week before, all good hearty us-italian style and well catered (and paid for!)..

OliviaStabler · 18/10/2018 07:16

@abacucat

As a rule of thumb, If there is space between the food on your plate that’s acceptable. If it’s piled in a heap, that’s greedy.

^^ This is a pretty good description.

abacucat · 18/10/2018 10:45

That would mean in some buffets with small plates taking no more than two quarters of a sandwich. That would leave me very hungry if that is all I ate.

abacucat · 18/10/2018 10:49

Obviously piling up a dinner size plate at a buffet is too much.
I do agree with the person though who said that in some buffets the pre cut portions are too big and that can lead to waste. I have tried to cut a baked potato in half with the plastic cutlery given and a queue behind, and just given up and taken the whole potato, when I just wanted a bit.
My pet hate at buffets are big bowls of dips. Incredibly unhygenic.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 18/10/2018 12:12

The size of the plate you are given is an indication of how much you expected to take. If I were given a small side plate, I would read that as a signal to hold back. I might go back for more, but only if confident everyone else had been served first.

I’ve never felt that it was the job of a host to fill me to capacity. As long as I’m not uncomfortably hungry, they’ve done their job.