What should I do (if anything) midly abusive messages via xbox to child from school mate.

[europewho]

My child is 9, for a couple of weeks has been getting some mild not nice, ribbing, at school from a peer at school, they are not friends but in same year. The ribbing started as I asked child to remove non friend for swearing and not playing nicely on Xbox. The other child has been saying things like "if your mum has a problem with me she can say it to my face" "your mum can come to my house and tell me what her problem is etc etc" ive mostly just laughed and ignored.

My child has just recieved an xbox message from other child saying "poo family", and names all my children, the childs dad and me, now I am aware its very silly and immature but I want to nip it in the bud as its just getting on my tits TBH, so my Q is what shall I do? Speak to childs mum? School? just block and ignore?

Sorry for any typos/grammar issues, writing in a rush!

How old are they

I’d mention it to school in case it spills over into school hours so they can keep an eye out/ have a word. I’d also block before it upsets your dc.

The OP states her child is 9.

Green tulips, it says in the op, the kids are 9

Is your son upset by it, if he is id screenshot and contact the school or parents if approachable.
Schools are hot in cyber bullying at the mo and outs would certainly get involved

If not I’d block and move on but keep screenshots just in case

Sorry lots of errors in that

Would acknowledging that your young child and yourself are reading (and reacting) to this unpleasant behaviour serve to validate the behaviour? I've not experienced this directly, it must be very unpleasant and unnerving. It did occur to me that the child is telling you (very unpleasantly) "I'M STILL HERE" but you ARE in control, after all he has no way of confirming his filth is being read by you or hurting you. GF

This might seem childish, but if you know where he lives I'd knock on the door and ask his parents if you can speak to him. Show his parents all the messages, and explain that you do indeed have a problem with him, and you are here to "say it to his face".
If his parents are decent people then the trouble he'll be in should shut him up. If they're not the type you want to approach then this may not work!

As a more grown up solution, I'd either message the parents, politely asking if they can have a word, or report it to the school.

Report to xbox. They ban for this stuff, it's not like the old days.

Has your child got an age appropriate xbox account? Children should have accounts where a parent or guardian has to approve friends and they are also block from getting friend and game requests from strangers.

Report to Xbox, who are hot on this. Also block.

I would report to Xbox, block the child and, if they are approachable, talk to the parents.

I'd also mention it to school as something to be aware of, in case it spills over into break/lunchtimes. However, I'd advise strongly against expecting the school to get involved in sorting out the problem, if it is purely a home issue. Too many parents expect schools to handle the fallout of their (7-11 yr old) child playing an 18-rated online game or using apps they're too young for, when it has nothing to do with school.

Where's your partner in all this? Sometimes a boy in that position will respond much better to a man telling him that what he's doing is completely unacceptable.

It doesn't say anywhere that the child is playing 18+ games. How bizarre

Block him?

Or call his bluff and go to his house.

My kids primary got involved with something similar, it was dealt with in school and a message on the newsletter reminding parents to keep an eye on what their kids are up to.

Are the parents approachable?

Go to his parents house with evidence. Call his bluff.

Thanks all, no 18+ games here the xbox is in the living room so I am very aware of thats being sent and said, shame not all parents watch what the kids are doing and saying on there. Not too sure how the Mum might react, don't want to get ourselves into trouble by approaching the kid directly, either me or partner. Ill report and block as first step, still thinking about the next step.

Sorry, didn't mean to imply that your child was playing with inappropriate games, europewho. I was just sharing my frustration at parents at my school, who seem to think we should be policing and sorting out issues that only occur outside school time.