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Favouritism

4 replies

Donthugmeimscared · 13/10/2018 19:01

Just wanted some advice on how you would deal with this?

I have 3 children and my exes mum has always shown preference to one over the others which is getting worse with time. I've had it out with her more times than I can remember.

For example she will buy him whatever he wants to the point he got a model of one of his favourite comic book characters for £80 or if he says he likes something she buys him whatever he mentions. She then gets little or nothing for the others. When I call her up on it she says oh they didn't want anything. One particularly memorable moment she had gone out with the younger two (oldest doesn't want anything to do with dad or her) came back with him with loads of things and youngest with some piece of tat you get in a party bag.

I know it's not about what she spends but it's unfair and upsetting the younger one as he's noticing now. Shes also like it with days out too and whatever the middle son says goes. When I confront her she stops for a while then starts again.

What really bought it home was today I was telling her how the her how they both really want to join a club but I can't afford it. She said oh that would be really good for middle child I can pay for him. When I pointed out again that they both wanted to and that it wasn't fair she said. "Well he will enjoy the alone time with you won't he?" I told her that if both can't then no one does and she just ended up sounding baffled.

I just feel it's not fair on either of them the way she acts as the spoilt one thinks he's better than the others and can't understand why he doesn't always gets what he wants with me and the youngest just gets upset.

I just don't know how to deal with it. I get on with her most of the time but this is ridiculous.

OP posts:
Donthugmeimscared · 13/10/2018 19:03

Just so you all know I don't always get them all something when I buy one but it usually evens out over the year. I don't know if it comes out how different she treats them from my post.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/10/2018 19:17

Oh it comes out very strong Indeed.
Favoritism is one thing blatantly letting it show is very much another
My paternal nan told me I was her favorite. However she never treated us any different what ever I got my sister got.
I don't know what to advise. I mean you've tried talking to her and that hasnt worked. I suppose the next step is to say "You don't see any of them until you start treating the equal. However by doing that you'd be hurting your DS who seems to have a good relationship with his nan, plus I can't advise that you break down their relationship. It's not me that would be dealing with the fall out.
Sorry I can't be more help will hold your hand until someone more wiser comes along

Donthugmeimscared · 13/10/2018 19:34

Thank you. I feel bad splitting them as their dad can't really be bothered with them. It's just so wrong and I'm trying to bring them up to know that things aren't handed to you on a plate in life. His dad got everything he wanted and has really struggled as an adult when he couldn't get what he wanted on demand.

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Donthugmeimscared · 14/10/2018 10:37

Anyone?

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