What's it like having an only child as you get older

[eeejjjy]

We are probably going to stop at one as am too old for any more. I have had a few wobbles that I am being unfair to my dc but I think he will thrive as an only .. I did

But I wondered from a parents point of view what's it like? Does it get easier once you've gone past child bearing years and the decision has gone? Do you still worry they will be lonely? Do you just have an open house policy and invite loads of friends around or take friends out on days out/ holidays.

I’m following this post as I am planning on stopping at just DS... sorry that I cannot contribute.

Tbh it’s harder in teen years. If I had two I would leave them at home together but with one, can’t. But they won’t actually spend time with us. And if they are Being A Teenager, the bad moods are really affecting with no other child around.

Ds is 12, and its great just having him as we get to do stuff he is interested in, and he's easily persuaded to do stuff we want - but that would be more of a stretch with 2. He isn't much into having friends over, but we do holiday with friends and their dc

IT gets easier and easier! Daughter never wanted sibs, but plenty of close friends. But liked it when they went home. We let her bring a friend on holiday as a teen.
We could afford to support her at university.
We could afford to help her establish her first home.
DH and I now work part time in our 50s because we can afford it.

As 1 of 3, I can honestly say I would have loved to be an only child. I love my younger brother dearly (can't stand my older sister) but all I remember is fighting for everything. (Attention, toys, etc)

I've got 1 DS and no plans for more. I'm also older (38) and I just don't want to go back to the baby stage. Sometimes I feel guilty but I also think that DS will have much more than we could give him if we had more mouths to feed.

Mahew working part time in 50s sounds good. I read a thread on here a while ago about a woman who was 48 who regretted not having another to every day and it was consuming her. I am worried about becoming that woman but it good hear positive stories

I know my dc will be fine. I am just hoping I will be!

I’ve noticed that on holidays, days out etc we play and interact with my DSD far more than other parents who have 2+ children who can let their children go off and play together. That’s not a bad thing tho and we really enjoy it plus often she makes a friend places

Also following. I know DH wants another child at some point but I'm not so sure. Everyone tells me I have to have another baby but (as much as DD is a really easy going baby) I've found it really tough and hated pregnancy. What if we had a nightmare child 2nd and I couldn't cope?

I have one ds. Whilst technically I could still have more dc, for several years I’ve been very sure I don’t want any more.

My biggest worry for ds is that his pool of people is very small. No cousins etc. I worry that when I’m gone he’ll be alone but that is something I try not to think about often.

We are very close and have always spent a lot of time together. He tells me far more about his life than I ever told my mother (as a teenager or now!!).

I have often offered for him to bring a friend on days out or holidays but he always declines (think he embarrassed of me ). However, he seems happy enough to be stuck with me.

I have similar worries as dc has no cousins or uncles/aunts. I can only hope that we live to a grand old age!

I am sitting here watching the rain drinking coffee and dc is happily playing and chatting to me. I don't think he's lonely. I am enjoying the relative calm and quiet of the house and I couldn't imagine an alternative scene with a baby or toddler and a 7 yo ( which wold be the case if we had another now) but I do like the idea of a future family with another person in it someone else for us all to love and for dc to love when he grows up and I do worry I am being a bit selfish..

I am an only child , as is my DD.
I love it and so does she.
She gets so much love and attention, I’m never too busy with another child for her and anything she wants she gets ( within reason obs, and she has to save and work for things too).
But I don’t have any worries about her being a pen only child.
No sibling rivalry, jealousy or bullying ( all three suffered by my DH, youngest of 3 sons).
There will be no fighting over our estate when we shuffle off this mortal coil as she will get everything.
She sees her peers at school and I encourage her to have people round whenever she wants, but in all honesty she likes being at home with us watching films, doing craft, reading, playing games, listening to music, messing on with hair / make up etc......
I actually wanted more - still do in a lot of ways. But I’m too old now and I had a lot of health problems having her so DH decided that we were not going to have any more children as he was frightened he would loose me- and frankly although I was upset at first he most certainly made the right call.

If you want more then you should think hard about why you want another and what different dynamics you could expect.
Also, just because you have a sibling does not mean you will like them in adulthood. Most people I know don’t even like and often don’t even see their siblings!

I have a 12 year old only child and haven't ruled out another. If I did, the age gap would mean it would be like having another only child. I think it's preferable for an only child to have contact with other family younger than their parents, such as young aunts or uncles or cousins.

Ds wasn't intended by us to be an only child but nature decreed!..
Hardest part when he was young was playing games especially board games ie snakes & ladders etc.Someone had to play with him and cos his dad's job meant that he was v.v. frequently away, that 'someone' was me, so I bought always with the thought "am I prepared to be the other player?"
School holidays I'd frequently have 0 children or at least one staying over.
Older still and it was open house for his friends.
It all worked out splendidly, but certainly those early years were a bit tricky.

There are no guarantees that siblings will be close when they grow up. I am pretty close to my two siblings but only since I left home (the youngest and last to leave home). I assumed it was the same for all siblings but turns out it’s not!! My own dad and aunt don’t get on (that’s probably more to do with my dad being an arse ) but it’s only as an adult that I’m realising that they never have. Actually, thinking about it, my mum and her dsis don’t get on either and for no apararent reason than sibling rivalry

When ds was younger I did occasionally panic about something happening to me and who would love him the way I did and bring him up with similar values to me. I am fortunate to have my two siblings and a reasonably fighting fit mum but I also have several good friends with dc of a similar age who would have taken excellent care of ds if necessary. He’s 16 now and that fear is less because he can and is making his own relationships with people outside of our family and they are as important.

Sorry, that last bit of my post was more about being a single parent than ds being an only child

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3393965-Any-suggestions-to-avoid-a-day-of-sinlimg-squabbling

Not something to ever have to worry about ... bliss ...

Boyskeeoswhinging yes that does sound like a positive 😁

@eeejjjy
Love your typo of my username! That made me LOL

Have one child DD aged 18 who came along when I was 42. Got divorced when she was 7. I used to worry a bit when she was little but less and less as she got older. I have a brilliant relationship with her ( we are the envy of her friends) and she is kind, friendly, clever and very happy. It really has turned out wonderfully so just accept it as being for the best OP.

I'm 45 and have an only child who is now a teenager. It wasn't what I planned but I love our life now. DD has tons of friends but she is also really close to us and has great relationships with her extended family.

I'm an only child, it has some great perks and I certainly has a lot of attention and experiences my friends with siblings didn't. But I did miss out on things too because I wasn't use to staying attention.

My mother is disabled and I feel there is a lot expected of me and I don't have any of my own siblings to talk to or have company of.

Truthfully though, everyone's experience is different, one may love being an only child and another not and one may love having siblings and another not. Do what is right for you.

I had really close friends and people particularly live in my house when I was in my late teens, but there have been times I have been lonely. Swings and roundabouts I suppose.