If your dd has been doing ballet for 3 years and ‘can’t do’ first position, something is certainly going on! And my first thought is turning to the ballet teachers’ herself, given the astonishingly unprofessional conversation she just had with you.
Im actually quite angry! What the hell does she think she is doing, having this little talk with you where she pretty much just blamed the little girl without having a clue what the problem might be... after 3 yrs of teaching?!
As a former ballet obsessed teen, who was a teaching assistant for the junior school, 8 hrs non stop every Saturday throughout my teenage years (paid peanuts... and loved every second of it! I was too tall to make it professionally sadly).
Anyway, although it’s been a few years, I think I remember pretty accurately and haven’t entered my dotage yet! And I am really confused with this whole situation...
Why doesn’t the teacher have a strong idea what’s going on here?! Why has she just dumped all this completely out of the blue onto you, without any suggestions about next steps, or support, or anything at all.. except a sense of shame and the strong urge to take your child out of her dance classes.
Incompetent and vile. She sounds like she just wants children who pick dance up without her even having to teach beyond just ‘showing’, and wants to prune off any child who isn’t naturally good at ballet or who doesn’t have the perfect body type for ballet. And sod what that does to the children she’s tossing aside.
I hate that type of ballet teacher, it’s so superficial and pathetic.
Basically, a good teacher would have been able to tell you their theory of what might be going on and be a good source of support for you as you seek professional help etc. A good teacher who’s spent any time with your child should be able to hazard a guess whether your child is having trouble understanding instructions or a physical issue with her hips. A good teacher will have knowledge about hip joints, basic anatomy and common problems. They should certainly know what they should be dealing with / trying to get a child to work on in lessons, and what needs medical advice. Especially as your dd walks with feet turning in I’d suggest that any goodballet teacher should have noticed this and should been been monitoring progress / other symptoms to see if she grew out of it or it was something they needed to gently discuss with you.
So... I’d suggest, not to worry but perhaps try and have a think to see if you can work out whether the problem is more from dd not knowing what to do, or from her body? And go to your GP.
And please think about swapping ballet teachers to a school that is more accepting, or just more competent? There’s no reason for your dd to stop ballet, whatever the barriers a child faces...