Arghhh taken the Xbox away - what next?

[kello]

Due to constant arguing between my DC (12, 10 & 8), I snapped this morning and unplugged it and its in my room.

I need to think up some conditions for giving it back. It was supposed to bring fun and a way of them connecting with friends and playing together but instead they are getting aggressive, obsessive and territorial about it and I've had enough.

Am thinking to keep it for a week and then slowly reintroduce it for very limited amount of time each day. What works for other families similar age DC?

Any suggestions welcome...

We've never had one as I saw the fallout from friend's DC with them.

However, you've got one and short of selling it, I would draw up a timetable where they each get their time on it. I note the age difference between the oldest and youngest is quite big...is that part of what the arguments are about?

Not had this yet tbh but DC is getting one for birthdays very soon.

I am giving 1 hr per day. Extra time can be earned by doing chores or playing outdoors. Ride a bike for 30 mins = 30 mins more screen time. I'm hoping for a balance without letting the damn thing become an obsession.

Good advice about a timetable. It's not really the youngest who is the problem - he is not interested in playing it very often as none of his friends do.

Middle DS has autism and it is good for him in the sense it gives him a connection with his peers and a way to gain respect as he's actually good at it. Some of the collaborative games are good for social skills too.

Eldest goes to school out of our area so is a way of being with his friends when he can't easily meet up outside of school.

Main problems are arguing about whose turn it is, not wanting to go out because their friends are 'online' rushing through homework to be allowed on Xbox.

Todays problem was because DS2 has some kind of free voucher code from Burger King and was trying to input a code (without asking me) and DS1 was trying to stop him because he knows they are not allowed to sign up for 'free' trials online. But instead of letting me handle it, DS1 was making constant comments to wind up DS2 who was going into meltdown mode. So I just unplugged it and took it away. Did not think it through, it was just a reaction on my part as I'm sick of this stress every weekend.

We don't have one but a friend has given their DC's specific days where they play with a time allowance. Then they may get a bonus time on a Sunday if they've done all their homework for example. Seems to work well.

Snap I took away the PlayStation yesterday for similar reasons. Gaming is the bane of my life in our household. The joys!

I often remove the controllers (easier than unplugging and can still use for Netflix if needed)

We use a kitchen timer to limit time on it and my best attempts to ensure other jobs are done first.

I have the same age gap between mine (10, 8, 6&6. DtwinD isn't so fussed about playing in it but we can have real battles between twin son and ds1(8). Ds1 is also under assessment for asd and is the most aggressive, obsessive and territorial about it.

The problem we often have is ds1 will be in the middle of something when his timer goes off, so we'll have the tantrum/meltdown about just finishing it. They have a 10 minute warning for me so they shouldn't be starting anything they might not finish.

Or he will want to play a single player game when ds2 wants/needs more help playing his games and usually chooses 2 player ones. This means ds1 assumes he will get extra time and he has worked out that was the way round the old system. Now we have X amount of time playing a 2 player game and then we will toss a coin as to who goes first on single player games. The other person is allowed to watch as long as they don't interrupt.

I am considering introducing a token system so each token will be x minutes, and will be given as reward for spending time doing other things. Eg homework, outside etc. But they will have to do twice the other work to get half the time reward. Eg 10 minutes reading is 5 minutes game time. This is to help us limit overall screen time as they will also play on their own gadgets/watch tv etc.

I've just unplugged my Wi-Fi router as mine won't do anything unless they have an iPad in their hand. School iPad so have had so many arguments about it.

Oh gosh - this technology brings so much stress as they get older doesn't it! Glad I'm not alone in this - so nice to get your replies.

I was just wondering how to watch Netflix in the evening without it! Confiscating controllers is much better. Mine have 1 week till school holidays and it usually weekends and holidays that problems occur.

I'm thinking I will keep it until holidays and then allow them each 1 hour a day once jobs etc have been done. They do have iPads too which I've not taken (yet)...

Youngest two played happy all morning but oldest is suffering the most today. We are off out for the afternoon soon.