"Good Morning Madam. We are delivering a knob to you today!" 😂 😂

[Elderflower14]

Just had this phone conversation! Knob is being delivered for the cooker!! 😁 😁 😁

We have an issue with knobs in Food tech kitchen at school. If the students try to turn them the wrong way all the plastic structure inside them breaks. We have now removed all the knobs and the Technician and I have our own personal knobs to turn the cookers on and off. Often heard in my lesson "Can I borrow your knob?" and when a TA arrives with a student at the beginning of the year we are invariably asked "Where are all your knobs".

Please tell me your response was “am I able to return it if it doesn’t match my expectations?”

myknobs.com

Put my order in last week.

Very large package arrived today.

I'm unwrapping it slowly later.

Fnarr

I cut my finger on the broken knob... 😪 Repairman took it with him....

Elderflower14 the repair man took your finger?

Nooooo!! 😂 😂 😂

At least he came in to do it for you. He could have just pushed the knob through the letter box.

A colleague who was a keen birdwatcher once announced at the start of a meeting what a wonderful weekend she had had. She held her hands about a foot apart and told us she'd been "this close to a shag".

I'm still sniggering.

my male boss and i are dreadfully addicted to double entendres.
the slightest thing will set us off and it's like Viz re-enacted some days. lots of fnar, fnar and ooh, matron. Very un pc.

Haha! Reminds me of the Dinnerladies sketch 😂

I had a phone conversation with a young man regarding a knob a few days ago. It was about a knob on a bifold shower door that is being fitted opposite the room entrance door. I couldn’t call it a handle as it is definitely a knob. I asked him how the knob far stuck out as I didn’t want it hitting the room door as it swung open. It took me three goes at trying to explain what I was talking about. Lots of sticking out knob talk. I was in a rush and annoyed that the bathroom lady hadn’t sorted this, so I didn’t think too much of it. He seemed slightly taken aback at the time and left me waiting whilst ‘he got his colleague to do a knob measurement’. He got back on the phone and said he’d never got asked that before but it’s 5cm btw - thank goodness I didn’t leave my name.

Bet the caller had been looking forward to the conversation, too .

I loved dinnerladies...

Dinner ladies is on my TV planner for when I need a cheer up session!!
Watched today with Malcolm the inflatable man!
And Brent's dm when her caravan blew up and she was blown into the car wash!

@Goldenbug. If he had posted it through the door I would have been on the phone asking for another one. Bumbledog would have shredded and chewed it!
We have a letterbox on the fence ever since he slid across the bay window and put his paw through our bay window a few years ago! 😲 😲 😲 😲. It was debatable who got the bigger shock..... My best friend who watched it happen or the postlady who left our garden at Ussain Bolt pace..
I had the box fixed on the fence by the time she delivered the next day!!

‘Have you seen my Clint?’ Total ROFL!

Laughing hard at the shag, Schaden!

Any knobs pushed through letter boxes certainly deserve to get chewed by dogs.

"I'm from Urmston!!" 😂 😂 😂 😂

Not a knob but a finger.
Postman's -bitten off my dgm's Boxer many years ago!!

I love double entendres! Ooh matron! I can come across as a bit prim & proper so people are quite shocked with some of the stuff I come out with! I would be well away with knobs!

No double entrendre escapes unnoticed in the Earthyhome! I was actually in tears earlier at some puerile inference while we were chatting. I have to really restrain myself in serious meetings as I give myself the giggles.
I blame 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again' from my early teens, I listened on R4ex the other day and it is dreadful.

We trained our niece so well that when she went to uni her friends said she was like an old lady! 😂

Sorry to hear that OP.

On a lighter note, a few years back I had a new photocopier technician ring to introduce himself, he sounded quite young. His opening line "I'm new with Xerox and just wanted to check how you liked to be serviced"

The poor boy nearly died with embarrassment when I asked if he wanted to rephrase the question!

I told the owner of our local hardware shop that I was looking for an extra long screw

I'm usually the first to spot an innuendo, but it just popped out [fnarr]

The day our office had new computer monitors is burnt into my memory.

We all had different computers, so needed different cables to attach them and we were making a list of the ones we needed. I just about managed to behave through all the male/female connection and length discussion, but when my colleague said "ooh, you can choose by sheath colour as well" I got the giggles really really badly.

My DM has a fantastic one — at my first Nativity play the parents were welcomed by the headmistress, who was explaining some of the scenery painting had been a bit last minute. "It was lucky you'd didn't arrive any earlier, or you'd have seen Mrs Green touching up the donkey."