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Feeling massively pissed off with DP

25 replies

Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 07:48

Do you ever stack up the reasons why you’re pissed off and then it just all flows out?

I’m just feeling so bloody pissed off this morning with DP. Don’t know if I’m being a dick but he’s absolutely infuriated me. Final straw is this morning I woke him up at 5 to 7 and asked if he would get up with the kids (4 and 11 months, who is breastfed and still wakes at least 3 or 4 times a night) so I could have another hour in bed before the school run. He’s just finally surfaced now which is useless as I’ve been up for ages now so am wide awake. Walks into the room like there’s no problem. He does this every time I ask him to get up. Sits there dozing and then says ‘will you just keep an eye on them whilst I brush teeth/have a shit/get dressed’ 😡

Spent 4 hours last night (6-10pm) in a&e with baby DS (he’s absolutely fine), was stood up the entire time walking round with him and rocking him as he was tired and ratty, finally got him brought him straight upstairs to feed to sleep, asked DP to grab me a drink as I was feeding him and his reply was ‘well I’m just about to go for a bath though’, even though older DS goes to bed at 7pm so what the actual fuck had he been doing for 3 hours!?

THEN he springs it on me that he isn’t sure if DSS (due to come tomorrow for the weekend) has a sickness bug, but not to worry as he would go and stay at his mums for the weekend and not spend anytime with me or the other 2 (not the first time this has happened - he fucked off during labour as he was tired and didn’t think anything was going to happen for a while. Then after DS was born left me that evening to go and see DSS and put him to bed when he could have stayed until I was transferred to the ward. I was in an observation room as had pre eclampsia and a PPH, had to have a MROP and a spinal in theatre so couldn’t get about).

And on top of this, I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago (completely unplanned and we have been using contraception). We have always said we didn’t want more children but I’m guessing nature made the choice for us anyway. Since then he has mentioned sex at least 2 or 3 times a day. Hasn’t asked how I am emotionally etc. His response to the situation is ‘well we didn’t want more children anyway so it’s a blessing in disguise’.

Sorry for the rant but I’m just feeling so fucking pissed off at the minute! Fully prepared to told that maybe I’m just being a bit sensitive as I’m tired and stressed but it feels good to get it all out!!

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 12/10/2018 07:58

You are not being sensitive at all, he on the other hand are being an arsehole.

DeltaZulu89 · 12/10/2018 08:00

Wow. He sounds like a prize tool. I can understand why you have reached your limit. Id seriously see about taking you and the baby off for a weekend and leaving him and the DS and DSS to get on with it, while you have some much needed you time. Could you go to your mum/sister etc?

Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 08:03

The problem is, he thinks he's never in the wrong because he does 'help me' around he house and with the kids.

My argument is, it isn't helping because it's also your house and they're your kids (well, My older DS isn't biologically his but we've been together since he was a toddler and he doesn't see his bio dad)

OP posts:

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MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 12/10/2018 08:34

Aaaarrgghhh!

The ‘helping you out’ line!!!

He sounds a bit of a twat tbh, so rant away.

Butterymuffin · 12/10/2018 08:38

But he doesn't sound like he actually even helps! Next time he says that you'll have to tell him it's not good enough. And stop doing things for him. Tell him you haven't had time as you're busy picking up his slack.

Singlenotsingle · 12/10/2018 09:15

I agree with the pp who said go away for the weekend with the baby, if you can, and leave him to it. CV

hellsbellsmelons · 12/10/2018 09:20

He sounds like an insensitive prick!
He's not there for you or the DC when he should be.
Does he have any good points?
Because I can't see any positives in staying with him at the moment!

snifflesnifflesnore · 12/10/2018 09:24

Are you joking? Why are you even with this guy?

I'm always amazed at the amount of women who have children on here with the absolute dregs of society.

Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 09:40

@snifflesnifflesnore believe me I wouldn't have had DS2 if he'd have been as bad then.

OP posts:
Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 09:41

It's mostly cleaning/cooking he helps with.

Problem is I actually enjoy those things and would do them more often but I'm always busy with the kids!

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 12/10/2018 09:52

Oh OP, that sounds absolutely rubbish Thanks

civicxx · 12/10/2018 10:14

That sounds very shitty! Me & my ex used to have a baby live with us (long story but baby was from his side not mine) but I did everything, if I ever asked him to get up the odd morning with her for her first bottle he'd give me the baby while he made a bottle & then he'd feed her in our bed?! I might aswell of just got up myself, drove me mental, he did it 3 times & I never asked again!

Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 10:21

Exactly civic and then you're wide awake!

OP posts:
Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 20:40

He's gone up to his mums at the minute. Hopefully he'll stay there. Not had a talk with him. Just can't be arsed with the confrontation.

OP posts:
Makethisquick · 12/10/2018 20:43

Stop thinking he 'helps'. You have a division of tasks and contributions surely? Of course you are having a tough time emotionally, is he clueless, avoidant or uncaring??. He doesn't sound very nice at all!

PlinkPlink · 12/10/2018 21:08

YADNBU!!!

Pestering you for sex after a miscarriage? FOTTFSOF!!

God I'm angry for you just at that bit. The other bits make it worse.

He needs to sort his shit out. Seriously. I suggest dumping the kids on him at 7am and you going for a sleep somewhere else in the house so he has to wake up. Selfish git!!

FunSponges · 12/10/2018 21:43

Tell him to stay at his mums. What a waste of space.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/10/2018 22:09

A man who behaved like that wouldn't be my DP. I mean that categorically. No hope. No hope at all.

Sorry, OP.

Ohb0llocks · 12/10/2018 22:43

Honestly I didn't expect this much support, I thought I may have been over reacting on some bits so glad to know I'm not!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 12/10/2018 22:49

You are under reacting op.

Tell him not to bother coming back. He's neither use nor ornament

civicxx · 13/10/2018 00:06

You are 100% not over reacting. he has the current behaviour of a pig, a selfish pig.

Hope you had a better day today

Powerless · 13/10/2018 00:14

I'm mostly astounded at the birth bit...w t f??????

And you're still with him?!

Ohb0llocks · 13/10/2018 06:53

@Powerless well he made it out like I was trying to stop him seeing DSS (who seems to get prioritised over everything but that's a whole other thread)

OP posts:
Powerless · 13/10/2018 18:54

Whilst you were in labour?! How could you have possibly been capable of that whilst in labour?! Madness.

How are things now? X

C0untDucku1a · 13/10/2018 19:53

Divide the jobs that need to be done.
Create a spreadsheet of WHEN each taks needs to be done.

Sit down and ask which he wants and ensure they are equal. Ensure he does every one, ever time, at the right time.

He needs retraining. His parents clearly failed in training him how to adult, and he now feels he doesnt need to either.

He sounds like a lazy waste of toilet paper.

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