Just had DC4. I EBF’d all of mine but not without issues and bumps in the road.
Every time I have started BF-ing each DC, I am reminded of the same experiences i’ve Had over and over again but manage to forget until the next time...
Can anyone relate to these scenarios?
BF-ing in public when baby is very young:
Every time you breastfeed in public and cover the baby up with a scarf or an actual breastfeeding cover they don’t really like it, both of you get all hot and sweaty (you from hormones) and you have to do a lot of checking behind the cover because the baby is small and unpracticed at latching so is coming on and off the boob and may actually need to be winded several times throughout the process, so baby is constantly popping in and out of the cover. Sometimes they become overwhelmed with the amount of milk coming out at the let down and start to choke but you don’t see it straight away because they’re covered up, and you have to pull them out, their face covered with droplets of breast milk and give them a little pat, your nipple spraying the room as you do so and forming a big wet patch on your clothes and the cover. Add to that the sudden realisation that you’re about to dump a big dollop of blood in your knickers and it will go through on to the chair you’re sitting on or the back of whatever clothing you’re wearing, when you thought you’d finally stopped with the bleeding, because the feed is stimulating the last bits of your uterus contracting. And you’ve stopped wearing pads because they keep giving you thrush
Other people:
DH, grandparents, in laws, will think that BF is the answer to everything, so will just hand you the baby every time he or she squeaks rather than try to help. Even when you know it’s winding, changing or comfort they want and all you need is someone to just believe that, and have the patience to hold them a little bit and give you a small break.
Even worse if you’re being pressured to feed because the baby is turning in, even though you know they’re doing that as they’re looking for comfort or relief from indigestion pain, rather than milk, and you only finished feeding them five minutes ago.
Worst of all are the people who, every time the baby cries, state that the baby is hungry and imply that perhaps you are not producing enough milk and try to force formula on you. Supply and demand is a real thing but you’re so sleep deprived at this point, you can’t be bothered to explain it and every google search you do first brings up results of women who have the same anxiety rather than what the actual truth is.
The thirst / hunger:
you suddenly feel inexplicably nauseous and get a headache and you think that you’re ill but you realise it’s the fact that your breasts are constantly drawing water in and you are massively dehydrated and probably really hungry for something that’s nutritious and requires preparing rather than what is easily grabbable while you’re holding a baby, like a bag of crisps or a chocolate bar . But it’s very hard to get a drink of water when you are carrying the baby all the time. And even harder to spread anything on toast or put something in the oven.
And then of course other people have jobs and money to make and lives to run, so you can’t expect others to avocado your toast in your hour of need so you just reach for yet another packet of crisps and vow to eat better tomorrow.
Yes I know there are ways round this, like preparing food in advance, but the moment your baby sleeps for an hour, the last thing you feel like doing is running to the kitchen and batch cooking shepherds pie.
The wishful thinking:
After you’ve been up all night and you’re nearing dawn, your will to wind the baby properly after each feed decreases. You find yourself willing the baby to go straight down after coming off the boob and miraculously not need to burp. You collapse into bed, your body desperate for sleep, only to hear that blood curdling scream of pain and you know you’ve got interminable minutes, perhaps an hour of standing ahead of you by which time dawn has broken and you never actually went to sleep in the first place in order to wake up.