I was married for 27 years- my ex told me I was very untactile - I would never instigate affection- kissing, cuddling or sex. I’d prefer to sit at my end of the settee than snuggle up. Our sex life was good - nearly every other night.
My best friend has always said I appear stand offish & it takes a lot for people to break down my barriers.
I’ve been with my current partner for 3 years. I explained that I’m not tactile at the beginning. He was understanding. Recently though he’s continually mentioning that he feels unloved because I don’t just grab him & snog him. He’s extremely tactile.
I just don’t feel that I ever want to cuddle someone or kiss them.
Can I change? I don’t want him to feel unloved but I don’t want to be cuddling/kissing him because an alert in my head says it’s ‘2 hrs since you showed affection ‘ IYSWIM