How long did you wait after childbirth to TTC?

[lexi727]

I have a 2 year old and a 9 week old. I really want a third baby. We stupidly have had unprotected sex a few times in the last two weeks. I don't know if I'm pregnant yet but if I am - am I going to struggle? If I'm not - do you think I should wait until DD is a year old before TTC? DH thinks a year is a good age, but DM is worried I might overwhelm myself (differed PND with my first but not with my second) so I should wait a little longer.

Have any of you got children with a year or so age gap? Was it hard? Do you wish you had waited?

I had 16 months between my first two, and coped fine. No relatives nearer than 60 miles and new to the area, so no help available. I was lucky in that I had no PND and babies fed well and slept well between feeds and at night . I went on to have 2 more before the eldest was 6..

I got pregnant when my first was 3months old (we were ttc) but that pregnancy ended in a mmc and d&c the whole thing was just awful.
I was desperate to try again and fell pregnant a third time and it was touch and go for a while but made it to 37 weeks and that baby is nearly 4 now. 18 months between my two.

I would say try and wait a bit longer if you can but that’s my personal opinion based on my own experience as my mental health took a battering I’m only just getting over.

Sorry I should have said it wasn’t the age gap between my two that caused my depression, I love the small gap and while it was hard at times they’re just lovely together.

I had two within a year, hard going. Imagine having twins but one who is always a bit behind

I found out I was pregnant with DS2 when DD was 15 weeks old, we hadn't been trying per se but also hadn't used any protection.

Physically the pregnancy was more difficult as my body obviously hadn't had time to repair itself following the birth of 9lb 9oz DD and towards the end I suffered a bit with pelvic pain.

DS2 came at 38 weeks in the end and so there is just under 11 months between them and for 5 weeks of every year they are the same age! Plus points are that they are interested in the same things at the same time as they've grown up. Negative points were that it was extremely "full on" for about 2 years dealing with 2 very young children and I also had an older DS.

Personally I think twins would have been easier to deal with because at least they are at the same developmental age - DD was 11 months when DS2 arrived and looking after her was still demanding but in different ways to how demanding caring for a newborn was.

Mentally I found it quite difficult as I had been diagnosed with mild PND after DD. I didn't get any worse but I think it lasted longer than it would have if I hadn't had them so close together.
If I had my time over again I wouldn't have had them so close together I don't think.

What's the rush? Take time to enjoy this baby. She's only a few weeks old. Get to know her before thinking of thr next one.

I’m Sure I read somewhere that you should give your body 2 years between pregnancies

Exactly what Bluntness said? Enjoy the babies you have now!!?

I genuinely think there is some innate biological imperative to procreate that kicks in not long after you've just had a baby. I happened to me both times about six weeks after having my children when I was weirdly desperate for another baby despite having a tiny baby in my arms.

It passes. And then you can make a more rational decision. There are 20 months between my two and that was the right gap for me, but I was really broody almost immediately after DS2s birth. He's 18 months now and I'm glad I have waited!

@mistermagpie I think there must be. I'm incredibly broody, all I can think about is baby number 3! If I am pregnant then i will be excited, if not I think the best thing to do would be to wait.

Till hell freezes over..

Having unprotected sex once I can understand but "a few times" is no accident. It's still really early days with no.2 when it comes to developing PND. I'd give your mind and body a chance to heal first OP. No need to rush it

@Howhot i didn't say it was an accident! Just genuine stupidity on our part. I just wanted to know in case I ended up being pregnant whether it would be the worst mistake of my life! And then since i want a third anyway, what people's opinions were on how long one should wait.

DS was 2 when we decided to try again, it felt right for us. DD was born just before his 4th birthday.