Have I got it wrong? Maybe he isn't gay

[adviceplease111]

OH brother is one of my best friends we are inseparable I've always just assumed he is gay. He's very feminine has no guy friends all girls, we talk about everything things I wouldn't talk to a straight guy about.

Anyhow I've noticed that he keeps looking at my boobs a lot when I catch him he looks away and he mentioned to OH how massive my boobs were when I was pregnant.
He told me how good my bum looked in jeans the other day.

I'm just starting to wonder is he even gay? He's never mentioned anything to me about his sexuality or his family but I'd like to think he would confide in me.

I feel like I'm over thinking things we talk everyday his texts are flirty but I just see it as jokey as that's how he is.

He sounds like a dick.

He's one of your 'best friends' but you don't know wether he's gay or not?

Gay, straight whatever isn't always clear cut. He may be gay but still appreciate a female body or he might not be gay and is flirting with you but not in the jokey way you think.

Have you never asked your OH whether his brother has ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend? Whether or not he's straight or gay it sounds like some boundaries are being blurred - I would try and step back a bit and maybe don't share quite so much with him if you're unsure of his intentions...

You can’t be talking to him about absolutely everything if you don’t even know if he’s gay or not. Have you never asked him? Or has he never mentioned previous relationships at all?

He isn’t that good of a friend if you don’t even know if he’s gay or not. And he’s crossing a line by sending flirty texts to his brother’s wife.

I have big boobs and to be honest, my girl mates are worse than my male mates, the girls grab and squeeze them all the time. I mean, ive known my friends since we were 6, were ridiculously close and that is totally normal behaviour for them, so I dont think it matters about this guy being secually attached to you just because he looked at your body, you've obvs got something worth looking at, good on you 😂, but in this day and age, do you really care who or what he's into? If you feel that this part of his life is making you question your friendship with him, like he's over stepping the mark or not being honest with you then you could maybe speak to him (in a veeeery sensitive way) x

Just re read the auto correct and spelling mistakes! Sorry!!! X

Yes but OH said he's just really sensitive and he's not sure whether he's gay or not.
If you met him you'd say straight away he's gay so I've just always gone along with it.

We just never talk about it I don't think I should be the one to get it out of him. He's never had a girlfriend nor does he seems interested.

I agree, no need to question, unless like I say it's affecting your relationship? Even then I'd tread carefully because you could be pushing buttons that he doesn't know exist? You could just mention the boob thing and not mention his sexuality? X

Umm gay or not, I think he's being inappropriate to his brother's wife. Are you feeling uncomfortable with his staring and remarks about your body?

How can you not know if he's gay or not? If you're best friends and your partner is his brother?

The uncertainty seems a bit of a shock to you but hopefully, it won't change the good parts of your relationship much and you should be able to tell your best friend to knock it off if it's bothering you regardless of what his sexuality might be.

It's not that uncommon to not know other people's sexuality, for most people - even our best friends - it's not entirely relevant and to many, it's just not a big deal or something to talk about. I have a good friend-lodger who has lived with me for over 7 years and we've gone through a lot together and confided a lot in each other. I couldn't tell you with any certainty what his sexuality is. There have been times when I've thought he might be bi or ace, but we've just never had that conversation. I can tell you that I've never seen him stare at anyone's chest or make a comment like that about anyone though is quite happy to make general sexual innuendo comments and openly discusses his lack of dating history or interest in it.

Inseperable but you don't know? Seems unusual to me.

I knew this guy at university who used to stare at my breasts all the time when we were talking. It made me very uncomfortable, but he was shy, so I think it was partly eye contact avoidance.
He came out as gay a couple of years later.

Tbf all you’ve ever done is assume his gay based on the out dated idea that gay men are feminine, his never said his gay

Whatever sexuality he is if you don’t want him looking at your boobs? Just say you find it inappropriate and as it makes you uncomfortable his not to do it again

I have big boobs and to be honest, my girl mates are worse than my male mates, the girls grab and squeeze them all the time.

What?!?

Not all gay people need to make an open and public declaration of their sexual orientation. Some people, rare I know, don't have the need to discuss sex and scream from the roof tops all about their private life.

Makes no difference if he's gay or not, none of your business but making comments about your breasts to your OH and flirty texts are overstepping the mark.The pair of you should stop it.

Well, DP has all female friends and isn't gay. But then, my gay friend touches my bum and comments on my boobs even though vaginas terrify him ... so you never really know unless you ask
I don't see how you're best friends if you can't even ask him his sexuality...sounds like an abnormally shallow friendship