New mum please help x

[ChloBows]

My baby is 3 weeks old, she screams most of the day and night. She sleeps about 8 (not consecutively) out of 24 hours (is that normal?
Weve been told she has colic and reflux, dr advised gaviscon so have been using that for nearly a week but doesnt seem to be helping at all.

What am i doing wrong?
What can i do?

Crying as much as baby is 😞

Loosing the will here 😣 x

(((hugs))) we had reflux though not as bad and didn't find gaviscon did anything. Have you tried slightly tilting the cot and or pram - that seemed to help us a bit. Unfortunately we found that if they are gaining weight and otherwise developing as expected our Dr and midwife didn't really have much to offer beyond vague platitudes. Is she gaining weight? And are there any other symptoms that might suggest cow's milk protein allergy?

@JasperRising Thank you x yes she is gaining weight and i mentioned the dairy thing but there are no other symptoms of it xx

Also holding upright on chest after feeds for about 20min before laying down in cot seemed to help but was a pain for me...

It's really, really difficult to cope with a crying baby when it seems relentless. Some babies seem to respond well to being carried in a sling, because it reminds them of being inside you. You may have to walk for a while for your baby to settle into the sling initially. Some areas have sling libraries where you can try different styles and learn how to use them. Good luck

I'm afraid I don't have much to offer then as we were in similar position and just had to ride it out. Raising head of the cot helped and once DC was old enough to go in a pushchair laid almost flat rather than a pram we did that (went from not screaming in pram to sleeping in pushchair) but we waited until nearer to 4 months before doing that. In our case it did pass around at 8months (sorry that may not be what you want to hear!)

If you are bottle feeding I think there are some bottles specially for babies with reflux.

Are you able to get out to family or childrens centres etc just so someone can hold her while you have a cup of tea? That helped my sanity a bit.

You're not doing anything wrong! It's really, really hard! The first year of parenthood is easily the most challenging thing I've ever done.
We've all been there. My first cried constantly for about 12 weeks but in the end she got her digestion sorted out and calmed down. She's lovely now (aged16!)
Second the sling thing... do try that. Or, if you feel able to, jjust pop her in the pram and go out - gosh I walked a lot in those early months, just for something to do - as being out in the fresh air seemed to settle her. There is nothing as depressing as being stuck in the house with a crying baby.

We had this. It was horrific and people who've never been there often gave well meant but incredibly frustrating advice - trust your instincts and ignore if you want! Also a lot of people will be talk to you about intolerances, and suggest crazy diets, stopping breastfeeding etc - we ended up with a specialist gastroenterologist who said that none of this is backed up by evidence, and it adds a lot of stress to already stressed mums. So do help yourself to a (packet of) chocolate biscuits..

As to what did help, the best thing for us by far was a really supportive sling, DH liked the ergo and I had a manduca, and going for a walk outside or a bounce on the gym ball might make him sleep.

We ended up cosleeping, I made it as safe as possible (no high up quilts or pillows etc) and fed lying down, which was calmer for us both and let me sleep when he slept.

Other than that - well, we tried ranitidine, specialist formula, all sorts - but sadly the best thing was just time.

If it helps, I went on to have 3 more babies, all of whom were SUPER easy in comparison, and the reflux king himself is now in year 2 and was my easiest toddler of all .. and he now eats everything and has to be woken for achool.
These things do pass, you are doing a great job, don't compare yourself with others with easier babies, and get all the help you can and just survive for a little longer

And fyi for safer cosleeping, if you do need it cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

Op I feel for you. Sending you 💐. My lo used to go in the sling after a feed, he still cried but not quite as loudly and at least I got to move around. We also used Colief in the bottles.

Had this with my first and it's bloody shit. You have my deepest sympathy.

As PPs have suggested, cosleeping really helped. I used to test DS1 in the crook of my elbow (light sleeper so no chance of rolling over etc). Later on, white noise/Ewan the dream sheep helped but the only thing that helped settle was basically being on my chest all day and night for the first 20ish weeks.

After that, we got an ergobaby carrier. He was in it all day, apart from feeds and changes and it stopped the crying. I honestly don't think I put DS down until he was six months old.

Second baby, different kettle of fish.

If you start to get upset and frustrated (being cried at all day is bloody horrible) then don't feel guilty if you have to hand over the baby for a while. Your LO will be happier if you are calm and rested.

If the gaviscon isn’t working, go back and ask for a different medication. We had one that began with R, I can’t bloody remember the name! The gaviscon didn’t work but the change was almost instant with the other meds.

You are not doing anything wrong at all OP.

Have you tried having baby in a sling after feeding? I found it helped mine settle (though I did get covered in puke every time)

Reflux is horrible but it can be well controlled with medication

If Gaviscon has not helped and it should do instantly then ask for ranitidine or omeprazole. Omeprazole is stronger so they like to try ranitidine first.

Also buy a reflux wedge from amazon for baby to sleep on, it does help. Keep baby upright after feeds for as long as you can (at least 20 mins).

Look out for excessive trapped wind, very smelly wind, rash, congested nose, explosive nappies. All signs of it being a dairy allergy.

Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? There are anti-reflux formulas you can try as well but I would only change one thing at a time (so try to get the medication right just now)

Our first 8 weeks were hell until we started ranitidine. It worked initially but then stopped working so we moved to omeprazole. However the biggest change came when we moved to dairy free formula. He became a different baby.

Keep fighting / going to the GP until things are better. You absolutely don't have to accept this.