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How to deal with party scenario

3 replies

dontknowwhattodo80 · 09/10/2018 17:15

Hi!

DS's birthday soon (10) and we're just arranging his party.

Last week DS and a friend were talking about birthdays. DS commented that he was thinking of having a certain party, his friend asked if she was going, to which he replied yes.

Since then we've finalised the plans and changed the party idea. It halves the numbers who can do. DS has a group of friends at school who have been his best friends since pre school, and they are all invited. That's our limit as it involves driving children around and a sleep over.

The issue is, the friend who asked if she was invited isn't invited to this party. I would like to invite her, she's a lovely girl and she's been friends with DS for several years. However, it's a long story but if she's invited then we would have to invite another child too, otherwise we'd be told we're excluding him.

Back story- Last year we did very similar. We then decided we had to invite these two extra children, meaning we had to change the party to make it viable to have so many.

It went ok but I was gutted when the following weekend both children ( and families) went out and there was no invite for DS. So I felt that we'd put ourselves out to avoid leaving out these children yet they didn't care about leaving DS out, also DS hadn't had the party he really wanted . I promised myself that we wouldn't do the same again this year and DS would invite who he wanted and have the party he wanted.

Now I don't know what to do. Do I say something to the girls mum? As her daughter is now under the impression she's got a party to go to?

It's the girls birthday in a couple of weeks and DS is invited, the other boy also had a party including DS earlier in the year. However these involved a lot more children than DS's party.

I'm friends with both sets of parents, DS doesn't play with either at school but we see them frequently.

Thanks for reading my waffle Grin

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 09/10/2018 17:28

Just explain to mum, party plan changed can’t invite your DD but let’s get together soon and all do something.

widgetbeana · 09/10/2018 18:50

Talk to parents and child and explain that the party has had to change. But you would like to do something else together soon.
At this age they need to be treated like mini adults and not fobbed off (not that im saying you would) and equally they need to understand that things change and as they grow then need to learn to accept and adapt.

It's a good life lesson and provided it's handled honesty it should be fine.

dontknowwhattodo80 · 10/10/2018 10:07

Thank you both Smile

I'll have a chat with her mum. I wish I'd had chance to intervene / change the subject but I didn't.

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