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Lack of affection

1 reply

Nancy268 · 09/10/2018 11:40

Hello,

I wondered if this is normal and I'm sure it probably is but DH and I have always been very close and affectionate but since DD was born 3 months ago, I've been feeling really rather lonely.

While I understand that dynamics were always going to change, I didn't realise just how much. No random hugs or kisses any more, I pretty much have to force them out of him. When we do have moments to ourselves he is either on the phone to MIL or sending her photos of DD that she constantly asks for. DH has been very critical of my parents as of late and while some of the things he has mentioned are slightly true, they are extremely petty and things I wouldn't dream of saying about MIL. I know he has DD best interests at heart but I don't feel his comments are justified at all and are making me feel very awkward. What emphasises this is that MIL drunkenly told me before I was pregnant that she doesn't like my family for reasons that again, are complete bullshit (she likes to be centre of attention and when people don't humour that, she takes an instant dislike for them)
I'm just finding it really difficult as his mother apparently knows best and I feel like some sort of idiot that has to be shown how to be with my own DD. She makes me feel uncomfortable when she visits (she lives 10 minutes away) like she is watching my every move with DD when she is actually willing for me to hold her! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate her help and know she wants to be close to DD but it gets a bit much when she visits a few times a week.

I just need to speak (or type) out loud as it's really starting to get to me.

My DH is great, a fantastic Dad and I really can't complain about anything else with him but I sometimes feel ignored since DD was born.

I'm a bag of emotions and really just want a hug once in a while. I'll be back to work soon and am scared of these feelings continuing.

Is this relatively normal and something I just have to be patient with?

OP posts:
Welcome26 · 13/02/2019 13:18

Hi mine is quite different. But I am feeling gutted and hurt.. we have grown up children and grand children.. have plenty of time for each other... love him dearly and I know he loves me. But there is no affection. At all if there is it's me that initiates it.. we have talked until I'm sick of it and it makes me feel desperate. He acknowledges that we have lost some Think even said he knows he needs to step up his game... nothing.. happens. And now it's just not natural to kiss and cuddle.... wots happened we have talked and talked. I don't feel wanted at all though I know I'm loved.. just sent him a feed on lack of affection saying according to this were doomed. He S just replied never love u too much ... what the he'll... a miserable me.

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