Help me stop cringing!

[Criiiiiinge]

I’m terrible for this. I overthink and cringe about my mistakes and embaraasing situations for days, weeks and sometimes, years afterwards.

I’m currently on day three following my last faux pas. I don’t think I can even bring myself to type what it is but I know this ones going to last a while!

Please help me!

Go on tell all. Only to day I cringed about something that happened years ago. But the great thing is I can’t for the life of me remember what it was now. I’ll no doubt have a flash back in two years time for it to be quickly forgotten.

How old are you? I found that I stopped giving a shit when I reached my late 30s. I never look back and overanalyse anymore. It is freeing!

I’ve definitely stopped giving a shit at 34! I’m sure it can’t be that bad OP..

Yep I used to be like this. Defiantly stopped caring mid thirties.
I would have to do something pretty awful to cringe now.
And if I do something really embarrassing I just try to brazen it out 😁

This is so familiar to me. I have made so many mistakes and regularly ruminate and cringe. I think the thing to remember is that other people are generally not as bothered as we think. People are very wrapped up in their own lives and don’t scrutinise us the way we do ourselves.

Remember also that time will lessen the intensity of your feelings. Try to breathe in and out and let it go.

Tell us. It’ll make you feel better immediately

Tell us, and I bet we'll all reassure you that we’ve done worse.

I know that feeling only too well too! I always find time helps wish I knew the secret to forgetting all about it too.

I learned from my DH.

The more you are seen to be cringing, the more you will be teased and/or it brought up.

If the incident is mentioned by someone who was there, just look puzzled and then say “oh yeah” as if you had forgotten it. Your nonchalance will rub off on them, promise.

If the incident is mentioned by someone who wasn’t there, just look puzzled and say “ huh?” as if it didn’t happen and you don’t understand them. Then change the subject.

If the incident happened when you were drunk, this is easy. Just say “What do you expect? I was drunk!” and move on with your day. This works. I’ve used it!

Ok, I’m going to type it. In the interest of group therapy. But this could be so outing!

I’ve started a self defence class recently and we were being shown how to throw a person to the ground if they came up behind you. To do this, you had to position your hips below theirs but I was having trouble understanding how to do this. So I was moving my hips around trying to find the right place only in hindsight, I was essentially rubbing my arse in their crotch Nothing sexual in it at all but I’m worried he might think there was

I love the class but I can’t go back can I? I won’t be able to face him again! I’m in my 30s already. There’s no hope!

Be honest... how bad is it?

Oh and if the incident isn’t mentioned at all, either no one noticed or no one is bothered, so no need to cringe.

And if it’s something like you sent a text to someone and you wish you hadn’t, things change all the time and one day you may be glad you did.

OP, you were doing a physical thing and you did it physically! No harm done!

OP I do this too, not the crotch rubbing 😂 well yet anyway, but I go over cringey things I have done or said for sometimes years after they have happened. My heart sinks to my stomach with the memory of one and then I blush and get a bit anxious and go ovef it in my head for ages. It's horrible!

Op, you are overthinking it. What you did is fine. Definitely go back next week.

I used to cringe at all my actions, and my therapist advised me to forgive myself for being human. It helped.

I use a stick to walk sometimes and was using it today as in a great deal of pain, walking into the library my friend used her pass to make the barrier go up and said ‘don’t bother with your pass, run, Jarets, run!!’

She was very when she realised and I laughed like a drain, it really cheered me up actually!

You will so go back in! For gods sake, you were just trying to do what the class was teaching you, it’s absolutely fine. Forget about hindsight and sexual connotations and all that.

When I began reading your comment I was convinced you were going to say you farted on someone’s head or something so: yay! happy days, a bit of accidental gyration is nothing in comparison.

This has reminded me- I started a course about 3 weeks ago and on the first day one woman let go this absolute killer of a silent but deadly fart- it was silent but pretty obvious it was her because of the seating arrangement. She hasn’t come back ever since, I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of the fart.

Thank you for trying to make me feel better. I’ve actually woken up in the middle of the night cringing about this!

I think part of the problem is that I’ve thought about it so much that I’m not sure I’m remembering it accurately anymore and in my mind I was full on bent over and twerking against his crotch. At one point, he grabbed my hips and moved me to the right place

It might also help to understand that he is a seriously fine specimen of a man and I might have a teeny, tiny crush on him

It’s fine. I’m sure he’s used to it —probably enjoys it as well—