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Etiquette question

11 replies

AlexaShutUp · 08/10/2018 20:05

If you're invited for tea/coffee at someone's house, do you take anything with you? E.g. nice biscuits?

I'm rubbish at knowing this sort of stuff. It's fairly casual, and I've known the host for years, but we are not close friends and I've never been to her house.

What (if anything) should I take in order to be polite? Also, how long should I stay?

OP posts:
user1471459936 · 08/10/2018 20:08

How were you invited? I'd have responded at the time with "great, I'll bring a cake, shall I?" at the time (text or face to face). How long to stat depends on circumstances - possibly an hour.

HarrySnotter · 08/10/2018 20:13

I'd normally take a nice packet of biscuits or something. Nothing too over the top.

TwitterQueen1 · 08/10/2018 20:16

No, because it could potentially set a precedent and make it into something bigger than it is, and therefore put off a return visit. It's just coffee and hopefully a budding friendship. I have loads of people round for coffee - we never take things.

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RapunzelsRealMom · 08/10/2018 20:19

I always take something when visiting friends for coffee - nice biccies, muffins, etc. My friends always do the same in return

gobbin · 08/10/2018 20:23

Something small and nice (e.g. I took a Sainsbury’s raspberry and coconut cake to my friend’s for coffee last week). Not over the top but a kind gesture. Stay about 1 - 1.5 hrs depending on how the conversation is flowing.

ThymeCake · 08/10/2018 20:25

I'd take something small - standard biscuits or a supermarket non-fancy cake.

It's not necessary, and I wouldn't mind if someone didn't do this if I was hosting, but it would seem the friendly thing to do.

Merrz · 08/10/2018 20:28

I would bring a nice packet of biscuits or something. Not sure it's particulary necessary but it's just nice not to turn up empty handed I would say.

Verveine · 08/10/2018 20:39

I wouldn't take anything but I'd expect to invite her back at some stage. I'm in favour of keeping things low-key.

I'd stay for about an hour - less seems as if you're not enjoying yourself but don't stay too long and risk outstaying your welcome.

Upsy1981 · 08/10/2018 21:39

Yes an hour to hour and half max. Have one coffee, then if conversation flowing ok, and a second cup is offered then accept. I usually take pack of biscuits (slightly nicer ones than I normally have) or a cake.

VictoriaBun · 08/10/2018 21:47

I have a very good friend and neither of us would bring something.
I'd, and often do, make the tea whilst I'm there if she's doing something like empty the washing machine or feeding the dog etc. I might wash up for her as well if she's got a few things in the bowl.
Now and again if I've done some baking - I'll take it around. We are comfortable in each other's homes.

Sturry · 05/03/2025 13:16

My new friend comes round after our singing class and I’ve been there several times. We also go out together. However, she can’t take a hint that I want to get on with things. Also, she doesn’t have her drunk until it’s virtually cold in spite of me hinting that I’ve had mine.

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