You know you're a mum when...

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

You resign yourself to the fact that you have to get in the emergency bath with your almost one year old.

Your almost one year old who is heartbroken and inconsolable from teething and being unwell.

Your almost one year old who is covered in puke. Who has also just peed in the bath as you've got in.

Your almost one year old who decides to let loose and poop on you in the bath.

Even worse when you only just have time to have a quick wash and rinse before jumping out to go back to your beaver scout group for the first time in since you were pregnant.

Please tell me I'm not alone

Definitely not alone.

8 month old teething twins.
Went to a baby group today, putting DT2 into the car when he has a poonami all over me. Nowhere to change him so decide to make the 5 min journey home.

Put DT1 in the car covering him in the poop.
Both boys in bath and I can't shower until DP is home or boys go to bed.

Oh dear! I hope baby feels better soon and you get a good shower.

I know I'm a mum when I'm in the bath and get gatecrashed by a 5 year old who can appear, strip and dive in in seconds!

You've cleaned vomit from your child's removable dental braces when you hate vomit. There have been poonamis etc when she was younger and I thought I was over the grim times but this was a particular low point!

Home and have had a good shower! Thank god im not alone! My dh just looked at me like I'm mad lol - I wasn't going to leave him in the bath heartbroken and crying like mad maybe I'm too soft lol

I'm afraid to tell you what you have coming in 15 years time

@bottledatsource I'm a bit more prepared for the teenage party carnage I think lol. After years of cleaning up my absolutely lightweight younger brothers who insist on carrying on drinking despite the fact that they're barely conscious has given me sadly way too much experience

Catching their vomit, especially by scooping it into your clothes, because that's easier than cleaning it up!

Yes @BringOnTheScience I have so many gorgeous 50s style full skirts and dresses that have sadly become perfect vomit wells

Bringonthescience said almost exactly what I was going to say. In fact Hyperemesis prepared me for that part of motherhood because there were a few times I caught my own puke in order to save the carpet or bed covers

Oh no @thecraftyfox sorry about the hypermesis. I don't seem to be too bothered by sick - to an extent. Years of looking after unwell rescue dogs and my useless lightweight brothers has given me far too much experience in the dirty stuff lol

I agree with you BringOnTheScience. That was an incredibly low point of parenting for me when DS had his 1 year jabs, got a raging temp so 111 sent us to hospital and he threw up in my hands, on his comforter and on his clothes. 🤢 luckily I caught most of it and it didn't go anywhere else.

He has done it a second time (teething temp), unfortunately I didn't catch it all that time 😭

I'm so pleased to have correctly judged the mood!!

I had a knitted cotton jumper that was very absorbent... I loved that jumper.

Oh god! Knitted jumper has no hope of surviving! The worst thing about my ds being sick is that he's a reflux allergy baby so when he's sick there's no warning, no change in facial expression, he just opens his mouth and suddenly there's sick - this is especially impressive when it's projectile as there seems to be no noise or effort.

When does the sicky phase end? Late twenties? 😂

I've managed to simultaneously comfort a vomiting two year old, while also vomiting into the same toilet.

It was a bonding experience.

@GiraffeObsessedBaby Haha I think you're ready. Mine was "Hello police station hundreds of miles away here. We have your DS here for TDA. Could you come and collect him please" Oh joy

@LastOneDancing oh no! That sounds awful and like a story for their wedding at the same time 😂

@bottledatsource oh god I'd be fuming! I think the scariest life of my life was my youngest brothers first official night out at 18. Hed drank before that so we knew what to expect but I was at uni 100 miles away and middle brother was at uni 200 miles away. Youngest brothers friend rang me brother had been too drunk to get in a bar so they LEFT HIM and then he went missing so middle brother and me "activated" our local home friends who had been out a "night out" aka watch out for giraffes brother night to go look for him. My school friend literally found him passed out in the gutter, cleaned him up and took him home to my mum in a much more sober and cleaned up state - she only found out years after.

Night of my life lol

....you tell your kid they can sleep in your bed if they promise not to Puke. And you arnt joking

I caught my toddlers poo with bare hands. It was a reflex I didn't even know I had. And never want to practice again.

GiraffeObsessedBaby my DS is/ was also a reflux allergy baby. He finally grew out of it at 15 months. I remember all to fondly the mountains of washing, muslins, towels to put between myself an DS, numerous bibs. It felt nice the other week to pack up the majority of the muslins and stick them in the loft. And I hated that there was no warning for being sick. I'd leave the room for one minute, come back and he we was covered.