Blocked

[Mumsymum90]

6 years ago.. I got pregnant with my son and I ghosted his dad as I just came out of a really bad patch I admit that I was being selfish at the time..
In January 2018 we started speaking again then he asked to see me see me & I was like no that’s not a good idea and I need to talk to you about something rather important (telling him he has a son) then one thing lead to another and he ignored my need to chat and we started sexting then we bumped into each other and our feelings started to come out in April ( I couldn’t tell him due to our drunken states it wasn’t the place). So I went home.. then we started talking more and I got drunk one night and text him and told him and he just blocked me with no reply on all sorts of social media. There was no questions nothing. I don’t want anything from him.. I’m emotionally struggling with it as I know and admit I did wrong at the start. Is he angry with me? I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. I just wanted him to know? Do you think he will speak to me again? Feeling lost here.

Oh OP what a situation. If you know him well, this might help determine his next move (if there is one).

He could be very angry he wasn’t told, either at the time, intervening years or after you’ve reconnected. He might need to work through these feelings (if he’s that type of guy). Then be in touch later. If so, be prepared he could be very angry with you.

If he’s not that type of person, he might want nothing to do with your son and is blocking in case he gibbons you’ve told him because you’d like child maintenance or he’s is simply not interested in a child.

I think at this point, the ball is in his court for next step (if at all)

I know in my heart I have done the right thing I’m just disappointed at my poor approach to it as he wasn’t making it easy he drives past me everyday still takes time to sit and look into my eyes or to turn round and look at me so for me that’s something but nothing. As, it doesn’t help the situation. I don’t want money or anything from him just his time to talk to know where we stand. I know he’s doing a bodybuilding comp at the moment so I’m guessing he’s just to wrapped up in himself at the moment.

I know him well enough to know he struggles with himself emotionally so I guess it will take time..

Yes, he's probably angry with you. You handled it really badly. Both initially and when you got back in touch. He probably needs time to think and digest the information. The man has just found out that the girl he was hoping to shag was actually working up to telling him they have a 6 yo son together. Bit of a shock that!

I reckon his just in shock or angry right now tbh, I mean you did ghost him knowing you were pregnant, you never told him about the pregnancy and have denied the child knowing it’s dad all this time. Then you get pissed and tell him by text, wouldn’t you be in shock too? I know I would be not to mention fucking angry about what you have done.

Give it time, once the shock wears off he will hopefully get in contact and your ds will get the chance that every child deserves to know both
parents. All you can do know is keep your fingers crossed for a good outcome really

Sexting was not the most ideal way to deal with this, nor bumping into each other whilst drunk ….. hindsight, a different approach would have ben better. I suggest giving him a little time to cool down, then opening up a new social media account (or whatever it was you were using) and write to him explaining you do have a child. That he is the father and you were scared to tell him hence acting a bit daft previously.

If that fails - give it a little time and then perhaps write to grandparents and let them know they have a grandchild etc. I would gather as much info (including pics) as you can (in case they dont want to know) so that you can answer your child's questions when older etc. Nothing worst than our past being a giant question mark x

Sexting was not my aim in the first place to clear that up.

I ghosted him just after I found out as I needed to collect my thoughts at the time as I had a lot going on. I didn’t intentionally ghost him neither I kind of just got lost in my thoughts of carrying this little person.

I’ve given him space for 3 months now and I have no way of contacting him as he has blocked me on everything currently. So, I’m just going to leave this all in his hands now I guess.

As, I don’t want to come across phsyco making fake accounts to contact me if he is only going to block me again & there’s a possibility it could make things worse.

I’m just hoping when he finishes this comp he will come through even if it’s just a chat!? The trouble with me and him also is that there are also so many things left unsaid always.

Thank you for your perspective ladies & I get why he’s pissed with me. Completely. X

You aren't the first this has happened to, nor will you be the last - my point is you are not alone and likely you have tried to do the best you can. Don't forget you have raised your child alone, that is a massive achievement in itself!!!

I didn't mean make a fake account, just another account so not blocked. You know him best so time might be the greatest healer on this issue, and if you are likely to bump into him some time in the future then you have some options for discussing this again. But for your child I would get as much info as possible and have a few ways to contact him as an option ( you don't have to use them but good have it etc).

We might have been a bit hard on you x

It’s fine, sometimes it’s good to be hard on people! I know I’m probably not the only person who is in this situation I just wanted to get another point of view that’s all of somebody out of the situation and thank you so much for your help!

I shall start gathering information on his dad for him and put something little together for him.

He drives past me most days on the way to work and just stares me out. So, I know he hates me and it is on his mind by his body language rubbing his face and trying to block it out at the moment clearly.

Time - it all gets better with time - which ever way things go, time helps so much. Glad we could be your ear, and any time you feel like you want to chat MN is here ready to listen. Usually pretty good at giving perspective and support x

Don't you know where he lives, works etc? Problems had to be solved away back in the day before social media and mobiles!

I know where he works & where he lives but I don’t want to invade his privacy as I don’t think that’s fair or right & probably piss him off more & thank you loopylass13 xx

Ok you could write a letter. Explain everything and your reasons. Your choice obviously. But gives you the chance to say your piece completely. If he chooses not to reply then so be it.

I may give that ago thank you! As I’m rubbish with words and explaining things as you can tell.. x

I know I’m probably thinking stupidly but I’ve just noticed he has made a new Instagram recently but I’m still blocked on his original one but this one doesn’t seem to be in use which is odd. Mine, is open as I blog my health, fitness and parenting regularly. Is it possible he’s probably watching my posts?