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Original poster

Binge eating. I'm out of control. Help me.

15 replies

StrangeAndUnpleasant · 07/10/2018 23:31

I was in control of my eating for 3 weeks, keeping track of everything though MFP. It was working, I was feeling great, taking care of myself. But then on Monday I just went off the rails. It started with me just eating a little bit of what I craved and then snowballed in to just giving up completely and eating everything. Crying all the time, starting angry fights with my husband, being a horrible mum.

In the past 3 hours I've eaten two full meals from the Chinese takeaway (chicken chow mein and chicken in sauce & fried rice), 8 gyoza, four kitkat chunkys, 1 litre of pepsi max, 150g dark chocolate, 1 bag of milky bar buttons and a lemon cake that serves 4-6 people.

I've vomited a little bit but my stomach hurts so much I'm genuinely afraid it will burst. I can't stand and I can't walk because of it.

Why do I do this to myself? The worst thing is I don't think this is even rock bottom for me. I lost 6 stone in 2016, maintained that loss through out my pregnancy but then put 4 stone back on after. I've lost a stone these past 3 weeks but now I'm scared I'm just going to keep binging and exceed my previous highest weight.

I don't know how to stop. I don't know how I did it before.

OP posts:
YouCantCallMeBetty · 07/10/2018 23:33

Oh OP Poor you, it sounds like you've worked so hard. Have you read 'overcoming binge eating' by Chris Fairburn? It's a great book with helpful steps for how to break the cycle.

NoSquirrels · 07/10/2018 23:39

I’m so sorry, OP. Can you think what changed early in the week? Hormones, a trigger point, DH eating something you craved?

smurfy2015 · 08/10/2018 01:21

Wanted to offer a hug OP, I have no answers, I am a binge eater too

Interested in this thread?

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Weight management
darkparadise1 · 08/10/2018 01:24

I do this too 😩 so no answers from me but you have my sympathy. It's chocolate for me - I can eat five bars like it was nothing.

SoleBizzz · 08/10/2018 01:27

Same here.. sick of it... for me the trigger is flashbacks of painful memories and loneliness.

MarcieBluebell · 08/10/2018 01:35

Op as a food addict I know how one bad day can be terrible. It's like if any addict were to take a drug the next day it's in your veins so to speak. As you've messed up it's so easy to think well I've got nothing to lose but you just need to do one day.

Don't let this continue tomorrow and then the next. Is there anything you can do to get through tomorrow. Go out for the evening or chuck all food out. Make sure you have lots of company.

I wouldn't track things btw. This is a binge waiting to happen. It's a build up of going insane over everything. A binge can be to lose control so you don't even know what you've eaten!

Original poster
StrangeAndUnpleasant · 08/10/2018 01:57

On bad weeks I can easily spend £40 on chocolate and sweets and eat it all myself. And then secret takeaways on top of that.

As a kid I would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and steal all sorts of food. I still do it sometimes.

I've read so many books. I just... can't control myself. It's fucked up.

I'm sorry. Thanks for all the kind and helpful comments.

All I can think about is the pizza in the fridge and I want to eat it. Even though my stomach is so painful still. The baby is wide awake and I just want to cry.

OP posts:
MarcieBluebell · 08/10/2018 02:08

Sending hugs. Hopefully you get some sleep soon. It's two now so try to get through tonight and try to draw a line under it mabey.

Don't beat yourself up about today. Is there anything tomorrow you could do to make you feel a bit better. Make take baby for a walk in the morning. You can do it op.

Rosegoldlilly · 08/10/2018 02:13

Hey OP I'm sorry I don't have any useful advice just a hand hold. Have you thought about CBT or other forms of counselling? Maybe getting to the root is what you need to do to stop this binging?

Spongeface · 08/10/2018 02:18

I know that feeling. Am the same overweight as you and after a huge tea I've got up and ate til I'm sore. I can't stop. If I had a pizza it would be getting eyed up. It wouldn't be secret food I could get away with tho. Toast, pasta and sauce and leftovers have been tonight... And half a baguette. And a block of cheese. Can't stop. Sorry not helpful but you aren't alone.

MaMisled · 08/10/2018 02:46

Oh op, I'm so sad for you but for me too. It's a dreadful feeling, I know, and all I can do is sleep after because I certainly can't move. I was contemplating seeing my GP but have OCD so any appointments upset my routine. I'm maintaining recent weightloss but it's feast or famine. I honestly don't know how to eat normally and never have. I track my food too but that way lies madness! I've stretched out the time between binges to 10 to 14 days by kind of meditating about what I'll eat. Imagining it carefully has actually been enough to put it off another day and then another. I plan my next binge but it always comes out of nowhere when there's nothing really nice in the house. Recent binges have been cereal, cereal bars, tiny ice lollies, yoghurts, stuff I have in to assist with my weight maintenance and not even that yummy! Then it's the peanut butter and chocolate spread on toasr. I wish I knew why I do it. It's senseless. Might look into the book mentioned above. I hope knowing others do this too is a comfort. Will you look at getting the book too? I've seen it mentioned alot. Take care of yourself op.

FapandSnart · 08/10/2018 07:55

It sounds like you have Binge Eating Disorder OP. Treatment is with specialised eating disorders therapy.

DocusDiplo · 08/10/2018 08:05

Hey, its one binge. Put it behind you. You have still being doing awesome and today is a new day. I hope you are OK. Be kond to yourself - focus on thr positives. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Like a pp said, get some books out about binge eating disorder and perhaps one will resonate with you. You are still a valuable mum, wife and human xx It is all OK. Honestly, everything is fine.

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease · 08/10/2018 08:07

OP, thank you for starting this thread, and thanks to all for sharing their stories. I thought it was just me! I eat and eat, mostly biscuits, sugary stuff till I get a headache. I know I'm not hungry, don't need to eat and that it will make me feel bloody awful, but there I am again, gobbling down kit Kat after kit Kat, or whatever. It doesn't touch the sides, definately doesn't feel good, but once I've got the taste for it, there's no stopping. I hate it. I hate being this big...i lost 3 stones on SW recently and didn't binge cos I cut out crap food, but ive put it on and more, and now just can't be arsed to start SW again. It's pathetic really, but so damn difficult. Take care OP. And thanks again. I have no solution for you, sorry. , but it feels better to have admitted I have a problem. X

Stellenbosch · 08/10/2018 08:15

Stay away from carbs. You can't help it. The insulin spikes are literally making you eat more sugar.

Try to do a two week lowcarb introduction to get some control back.

Good luck. It's shit when it's like this :-(

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