Witnessed a serious accident. So shaken up

[Dobbythesockelf]

Today I was at an event and me and my 3 yr old dd witnessed a collision between some moterbikes which resulted in a child being seriously injured. It happened a few hours ago and I'm still struggling with what I saw. My dd seems ok, I don't think she realised what we saw but I'm worried about how it might effect her in the next few days. The local news is full of stories about it and it's just so horrible and I keep replaying it in my head. Police are going to take a statement tomorrow. Eugh don't know why I'm posting just feeling terrible about it all.

It’s very very normal to struggle when you’ve witnessed an accident. It sounds awful.

There’s a method to deal with any traumatic memory. When it replays in your head close up eyes and move you eye from side to side (mimicking REM). In the memory concentrate on other things that were happening (like what you were wearing, things near you not involved in the accident).

I’ve had to talk my son through it, he was older that you daughter, but it might help her if she gets upset. Sometimes young children don’t really compute what’s happened, but they can cotton on at a later date.

Urgh I saw that on the news. I’m so sorry you saw it all, it must have been awful. I hope that the child will be ok. I’m not sure what to say really other than I’d be exactly the same... replaying in head etc. Maybe the police can offer some guidance on what do do if you can’t stop thinking about it? And also how to approach the subject with your dd.

That sounds horrible - not surprised you were shaken up

I was having awful flashbacks a few months back after my son had a very nasty accident and a friend told me to try a homoeopathic remedy called Arsen Alb. I don't know much about homoeopathy but it really helped. I also swear by rescue remedy after a shock.

StripySocks That sounds like a useful technique. I haven't come across it before - is it an EMDR method?

I witnessed a road accident in which a motorcyclist died about 20 years ago. I was by myself and had no dc at the time. Be kind to yourself OP. Csman the police/GP offer you or your child any counselling (my workplace also offers counselling to staff who feel they need it). Take it steady, be kind to yourself. Even after all these years I can recall that moment, but it’s stopped playing on repeat in my head.

Thanks stripysocks I will try that. My dd seems ok, she keeps mentioning the crash but then says "the ambulance man made him better" I also don't think she realised it was a child if that makes sense. I really hope the child is ok. Definitely going to be squeezing my children a little tighter tonight.

I think so spiderlight, as stupid as it makes me sound it’s been so long since I was taught it forget the name (but that sounds right). It helps handle flash backs.

Hi OP. Sorry you witnessed this. This is gonna make me sound nuts but I remember this article where if you play Tetris after witnessing something terrible, it'll reduce the risk of intrusive thought and flashbacks.
Read this article

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/dn27846-tetris-blocks-traumatic-flashbacks-even-after-the-memory-is-fixed/amp/

I hope the child recovers

That's really interesting. I tend to play games while I'm feeding my baby so I might give Tetris a go tonight. Not played it in years.

Maybe your Dd can play it too, it may help her

It's normal to feel terrible after seeing something like that, let yourself feel the way you do and hopefully it'll run its course. If you're still feeling shaky or you're still feeling triggered by things in a few weeks time though, speak to a counsellor. I had a similar thing happen a few weeks ago and got really weepy about driving and clingy with my family because I was scared something would happen to them, turns out seeing something like that even if you weren't involved can give you PTSD, however severe. I hope you feel better very soon

I was there too but not a witness.Awful. Sorry, no advice.

I think for your DDs sake I might not mention it again with her. If she brings it up I’d pretend that the hospital has made the young boy better, no matter what the outcome for him (poor kid). She is too young to ned to know full details.

For yourself, you might wish to have some counselling at some point, see how you go. Sounds like a terrible accident in the Welsh news 😞

I was involved in quite a serious accident a few years ago with my Ds in the car. He talked about it a lot that was tough as I wanted not to think about it but we had different ways of dealing with it.

Yes when something terrible happens we hug our children a bit tighter.

Hope the child involved is ok

Oh dear. That sounds horrible. I read somewhere that white noise helps with anxiety when trying to sleep. Perhaps it might work if you are laid worrying about it tonight. I take it a lot of people saw it happen if it was at an event. I would just tell your daughter that the ambulance fixed him and I’m sure she will forget soon enough. Harder for you though.

Hi OP, I was first on scene to a murder earlier in the year. The victim hadn’t yet died and I was present for all the life saving procedures. Now this is part of my job and something I am prepared for in my training. However is still massively effected me.

I went to the gp and she told me that the first 7-14 days are the worst because it’s when you are in shock and your brain struggles with processing. I got some sleeping pills to stop me thinking about it at night and keeping myself awake. A few weeks later I was ok. It still bothers me, but the memory isn’t as vivid.

My advice would be to talk about what you saw as much as you can, and don’t be afraid to seek help.

Please dont under estimate delayed reaction and make sure you give yourself some self care and what you need to do to deal with it.

An old teacher of mine exforces. My favourite teacher actually. Lovely guy but a proper mans man if that makes sense. Kind of guy whod bottle things up. Come across an horrific rta accident with 4 dead. He obviously didnt deal with it at all and moved on. Or so he thought. He had a huge nervous breakdown about 2 years later which he said was a result of this. But he didnt realise it himself.

Obviously not saying this will happen to you. But more stressing the importance of dealing with things and some self care. Shock has a funny way of creeping up on us.

Take it easy

Thanks all. We have not mentioned it to my dd since other than to reassure her that the Drs would make him better. She's watched Dr who and has gone to bed ok so she seems fine. Being talking about it to my mum which has helped. I feel a bit silly being so affected when what the family must be going through is much worse. Gonna curl up with dh and ds and watch Grimm (ds is 3 months so I doubt he'll do much watching). Hoping I can get some sleep later.

It is not the slightest bit silly you witnessed a horrific event by the sounds of it would be very difficult not to be affected and in fact probably more worrying.

Well I managed to get some sleep. I think by the end of the day I was just so exhausted from the day that my body overrode my mind. Dd slept through but she is still talking about the crash this morning, Every time she has mentioned it I have just replied that the ambulance man looked after them and just kept repeating this. She doesnt seem upset and I'm wondering if she is just trying to process what she saw.