Protecting children from depressed mother

[festiveissues]

What are the best ways?
Children are repeating things they hear about being unhappy, miserable, stressed ?
Is this environment harmful long term or is it salvageable and everyone can be happy again ? Will it damage children to see a parent so unhappy ?

This is a difficult one- I have some experience of this in my own wider family. It is very hard for anyone, child or adult, to live with someone who is depressed and inevitably it will take its toll on everyone. It is difficult for children in families where a parent is ill - whether it be mentally or physically.

A lot depends on the other members of the family and how they approach it. Is there a spouse involved (father of the children)? I know that we took the line that Mum is ill and that sometimes this makes her say gloomy things - it is not her fault and we must all do our best to help her till she is better.But alongside this we were organising plenty of opportunities for the children to be out and about or spending time with relatives who were well and could act as an antidote.

The children are fine - it has helped them to become understanding and compassionate.

DM was suffering from depression for most of my childhood. Are the school aware, and can they offer ELSA / counselling (depending on the age of the children) to help them process their feelings? Is the Mum getting good help e.g. medication and therapy?

School are not aware. They aren’t supportive and haven’t been in the past so trying to manage without that negative input
HV aware. Referral to homestart has been made.
It’s just the guilt. I’ll try and get them taken out more to keep away from the atmosphere I’m causing

Hello OP, my DS would see my crying but he didn't understand why, he's only 3. I do feel bad but he knows he is loved, he is not neglected and he's still happy. Understanding depression from an early age I believe would make them more empathetic to people's feelings on the long term but I don't believe it would harm them unless they are neglected as a result. It's hard but you can't help being ill, and they know they are loved.

I don't tend to go into details to my child how I feel though. I do try to put on a brace face but if I cry in front of him and he asks why I just tell him that mummy has an illness which makes her feel sad but she loves him and he's not to worry.