Almost 40 - tell me stories of how you found love

[Fantail]

Just that really. Marriage ended 3 years ago. I have one child. Can’t have any more (a factor that contributed to end my marriage).

I have a good job, interests, am financially secure in my own right.

Relationship with my ex is amicable and he’s getting married again in a couple of months.

I’m not perfect, I’m well aware of that.

Tell me good stories of how you found love again.

Met DH internet dating when I was 36, after I dropped my daft list of criteria, stepped outside my comfort zone and met anyone who asked. It was a specialist website for people with a particular interest, so we had at least that in common. He was about number five of the randomers I met. I would never have guessed I'd end up with someone like him but there you go, we're good together :-)

I would say you would be fine

I was 41 and met DP on tinder, he's fantastic. We now live together as a blended family plus dog. You just need to put yourself out there. I dated for three years until I found him.

I separated from DCs dad 4 years ago. Had one weird relationship afterwards which ended when he ghosted me after 2 years 🙄.

Was online dating at the start of this year and was thoroughly disillusioned and borderline depressed when I received a perfect opening message from this guy on PoF (was literally about to delete all OLD profiles). We'd met briefly once irl via a mutual friend and I'd been very drawn to him but he had a partner at the time.

The click was instant and overwhelming. We went on a date 3 days later, he stayed at mine and we've been inseparable ever since. It's the most wonderfully grown-up, non game-playing relationship I've ever had but I've also never met anyone who makes me laugh the way he does. I have sore cheeks from smiling and laughing ALL the time. Kids have all met each other, we're spending Xmas together and have started talking about how/when we're going to move in together.

I never thought it would happen for me OP. Hang in there.

I have dated, including one 8 month relationship. But always men who to be honest don’t have their shit together and they end up breaking it off either because they want to work on themselves or because basically they’ve used me to regain confidence and realised that there’s something better out there (actually been told that).

I tend to be a person who builds people up. As in I don’t “rescue” people, but even at work I’m the one who keeps the team “up” when the chips are down.

Sounds to me like you need to work on yourself a bit first fantail. Get out of that mindset.

I’m actually in a reasonably good place right now I think. I’ve just completed a Masters level course successfully.

I do have issues with anxiety and depression but have techniques for coping. Just need to hear some good stories or successful relationships. How did people know they were good?

Chateau - ghosted after a two year relationship what the hell! Glad you have a lovely DP now!

Fantail - some people say it's a numbers game and you just have to keep putting yourself out there. Avoid people who seem like works in progress if that has been an issue before.

Glad to hear you're in a good place. Sometimes the way we see ourselves turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy IYSWIM?

Sounds daft but I read "He's just not that into you" and took the message on board, don't waste time on obvious no-hopers. I knew DH was a good'un when he introduced me to his dog, it used to belong to his ex but she dumped it on him and he took it on and loved it to bits. My other top tip is drop your height requirement if you have one, loads of great guys get filtered out of searches for being a bit shorter than average, so there's a lot less competition for them ;-)

2nd date on pof
Been together ten years.
Got married three years ago when I was 63

He’s lovely and we are growing old and grumpy together and that’s ok 😂

He’s making my breakfast as I write 👍

he's a winner Dowser!

Funnily enough I’ve just watched the movie. I’ve been dating a guy for about 3 months. On paper he’s great and we are a really good match, but he’s currently overseas for 5 weeks and 2 weeks in the messages are drying up. I do actually really like him, but I’m not sure it’s reciprocated. Well, he’s talked about future plans for over Christmas etc but it’s one of those tricky to read situations. We haven’t socialised with friends.

Height, not an issue. I’m short anyway.

I was 48 and met my partner after commenting on one of his posts on an internet forum. It was genuine love at first sight.. we had both been through bad marriages and shitty divorces and had both raised our children as single parents. All kids were adults by then so we had the freedom to do what we wanted. After 3 months of emails, texts etc etc we finally met for real.. I met him at the local station and we just walked into each others arms.

After meeting we took 10 months to sort things out (meeting constantly, although 200 miles apart) and then he moved here with me.

We had the most amazing 17 years. Honestly never argued and adored each other.

Sadly he had a sudden fatal heart attack earlier this year but I am focused on the times we had.

It really is never too late.

cantfind I am so sorry you lost him. I’d love to find someone like that.

Oh cantfindname - sorry for your loss but glad you had the good times. OP - I feel I will never meet anyone. I work full time, 3 kids 17, 14 and 7 so all just too hard finding time (babysitters as youngest never stays over at her dads). I'm 49, will be 60 before youngest is an adult - but some of these stories give me hope.