To feel really embarrassed about being so shy

[TheFarsiDifficulty]

Went to a function with mums from DC's class. I hardly spoke. Felt so awkward. I hate being like this. I don't think they like me. I wouldn't blame them.

Why do you feel so shy? Is it just your personality ? Social anxiety ? Or something to do with those particular mums ?

You don't know they don't like you. That's just your anxieties getting the better of you.

Oh I definitely think one mum doesn't like me as much. Shes just different the way she speaks to me. So disinterest almost.

Yes I do have social anxiety. I guess it's part of my personality now. I don't know how to undo it. I didn't even want to go but one of the other mums really wanted me to go. I wish I didn't.

In case someone mentions CBT etc. I've done it. No improvement.

So what if she doesn’t like you? You probably don’t like everyone.

What is going through your head at this kind of event? Didn’t you want to be there?

I like the saying 'I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me, now I wonder if I like them'. It helps me when I feel anxious

OP you might not be aware that shyness is an inherited trait so do not feel guilt about a part of yourself that is naturally occurring. Perhaps if it is upsetting you you could have some kind of counseling or I think Occupational Therapy is supposed to be very good at it helps you’d with real life situations. It’s not really a case of “why am I like this?” As much as learning strategies to overcome your natural inclination to hold back.

Do you feel like this when you go to an event with actual friends? I could never stand going to 'school mum' events. They were acquaintances rather than friends. I wouldn't have ever enjoyed spending time with them, so would have declined an invite.

They were a nice enough bunch. Tbh I would love to socialize more, make friends etc but this trait of mine doesn't let me. So in the end I just withdraw. Which I know isn't helping the problem.

I am friends with the mum who organised it. She really wanted me to come