I get this is no big deal for 99% of people but for years now ive suffered anxiety and depression where at times ive not left the house for months and then its been mostly for medical reasons. Recently ive found going to the cinema to be calming so ive gone there a lot ( see my posts on the film board) but its just ticket for x film please etc. Well tonight i had to go to the shops which i felt crap about but i had a jokey conversation to the woman behind the checkout and it made me feel awesome. I know it sounds stupid, she's probably already forgotten about it, its entirely possible it was a fake laugh or smile but in the recent years ive not had many moments like that like others when ive forced myself out are looking at fairly mundane things like a bright red postbox on a street that stood out and it made me feel like things arent that bad.
I guess it comes from a fear that being away from everybody and little social contact you fear you'll lose the ability to interact with people properly, like i have writing properly as i hardly write, making grammatical errors or trying to type as fast as i did before not properly looking and pressing the wrong button.