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Original poster

DH and my ex had a fight

53 replies

DoILookArsed · 05/10/2018 20:28

My DH went out with some mates last night and bumped into my ex. Apparently my ex (who is biological dad to DS age 3) said something derogatory about me and DH punched him. He told me as soon as he came in and I believe they had a scuffle which was broken up by friends. I am not impressed

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/10/2018 09:30

Both sound like meat heads tbh.

Violetroselily · 06/10/2018 09:35

Both as bad as each other.

DH needs to learn to walk away when someone says something he doesn't like.

SillySallySingsSongs · 06/10/2018 09:36

DH is definitely not a dickhead

Maybe not but in this case his actions certainly were.

Costacoffeeplease · 06/10/2018 09:37

They’re both equally to blame, in fact I’d be more annoyed with the one who was violent

ConkerTriumphant · 06/10/2018 09:37

My ex told my DH in a pub that he felt sorry for him, being married to a gold-digging slut like me.

DH said ‘no need to feel sorry for me mate, I’m having the time of my life.’

😂

Notacluewhatthisis · 06/10/2018 09:38

These things are always weird ones.

Because I would hate dp to smack my exh. Even though exh is a total dick. I know dp has felt like doing it. I feel like doing it. But I don't want dp being arrested etc and I know exh would phone the police and love every second of watching the shit it caused.

On the other hand I do think that sometimes people do deserve a smack in the face. With some people verbal retaliation doesn't work. With some people walking away doesn't work.

That being said, it's not ideal and not really acceptable.

Original poster
DoILookArsed · 07/10/2018 11:15

Thanks for the responses. I've told dh I'm not happy about it and he understands. Me and my ex had an experimental sex life let's just say and he loves to say disgusting and demeaning things about it to people to humiliate me. He's a sick

OP posts:
Original poster
DoILookArsed · 07/10/2018 11:15

dick*

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 07/10/2018 12:04

Your DH needs to control his temper. Is he going to punch everyone who says something he doesn't like?

I don't think that's a reasonable conclusion at all.

Original poster
DoILookArsed · 07/10/2018 17:40

DH doesn't make a habit of punching people. I think it's fair to say he was provokoed

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 07/10/2018 18:01

Your DH has your back, which will annoy some of the MN Schadenfreudes.

He lost his temper at you being disrespected - and he was being disrespected too. Cut him some slack he's human not a saint. Maybe everyone else has perfect husbands. They'll encourage you to berate your husband and theyll take delight in slagging him off too

If he'd walked off they'd be calling him all sorts of spineless wimp and telling him to grow a pair.
.
Don't buy into it.

It could be worse - you could still be with your big mouthed moronic ex ...

Singlenotsingle · 07/10/2018 18:05

I'd be publicly annoyed, but secretly proud of DH for defending my honour.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/10/2018 18:08

If it makes you feel better, my husband put my ex through a patio door.

Sethis · 07/10/2018 18:14

Anyone drawing a moral equivalency between these two people needs their head checked.

  1. This person slags you off, tells other people about your non-vanilla sex life, spreads shit about you, and confronts your currrent partner and tries to sabotage your relationship
  1. This person loves you, is outraged that someone is doing the above, and decides to demonstrate that mouthing off about you behind your back will actually have consequences

Yet seriously some posters here think 1=2. It's basically the same as Trump and Charlottesville all over again. "There was violence on both sides". Sure, maybe DH could have handled it a bit better but you're a complete nutjob if you think he's as bad as the Ex in the above situation.

Branleuse · 07/10/2018 18:19

Well said @sethis

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/10/2018 18:26

Sethis

The OP's DH is responsible for his actions (as the ex is responsible for his)
In law there is no "moral" justification for hitting someone else as there is always the option of walking away.
Whatever the excuse people want to make for the OP's DH he could well end up with a criminal record for this.

Original poster
DoILookArsed · 07/10/2018 18:29

Also my DH is looking after my exes son who he never bothers with. My ex still thinks it appropriate to say demeaning things about me to DH

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 07/10/2018 19:04

Anyone drawing a moral equivalency between these two people needs their head checked.

No I don't thanks. Neither behaved well that is the bottom line.

If the DH had been arrested or caused serious damage to the ex he'd likely end up with a criminal record.

In law there is no "moral" justification for hitting someone else as there is always the option of walking away.
Whatever the excuse people want to make for theOP's DH he could well end up with a criminal record for this.

Exactly

LookImAHooman · 07/10/2018 20:03

I don’t think most are drawing an equivalency - just pointing out that OP’s DH’s actions aren’t ok just because the ex is such a dick.

MistressDeeCee · 07/10/2018 22:32

Sethis response is grounded in reality.

The saints will just have to continue being perfectly pious. Never making an error of judgement.

Not even 'Id have said this or that as opposed to hitting out'...No..You'd just have walked away saying nothing. Pride in cowardice must be the latest 'in thing'.

I'd rather not have a coward in my corner that's for sure. As much use as a holey brolly in a storm, and just as weak

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/10/2018 22:43

MistressDeeCee

Strange that you advocate name calling, when it was name calling that apparently caused this in the first place.

MistressDeeCee · 07/10/2018 23:22

As if name calling is even mentioned in my comments.

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/10/2018 06:36

MistressDeeCee

You are calling people that walk away cowardly and weak.

Just another part of the problem.

MistressDeeCee · 08/10/2018 23:13

Not even 'Id have said this or that as opposed to hitting out'...No..You'd just have walked away saying nothing

Boney there's nothing in there that you don't understand.

Advocating remaining completely silent when insulted to your face = cowardice.

Just own it

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/10/2018 17:01

*MistressDeeCee

Advocating remaining completely silent when insulted to your face = cowardice.

Just own it

Advocating that someone hits someone for insulting you = wanker

Just own it.

If your that insulted do your own dirty work.