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Original poster

Cried on tube because I miss my mother so much. Have you ever cried in public?

44 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 05/10/2018 20:04

I've had a shit day health wise. Really tired, a bit worried, and then a dollop of pain and dizziness. So I think it all made me very over-emotional.

Apart from that my day was nice - and then I got overwhelmed on my commute home, thinking how intrigued my late mother would be if she could see the interesting stuff I'm doing, and wondering what she would think of me now as a fully formed adult Sad She has been dead for years.

I was suddenly dying to hear her voice and see her, and I felt my crumple, and tears poured out. It was excruciatingly embarrassing. But for a couple minutes, I honestly couldn't stop it.

Have you ever cried in public? If so, what caused it?

OP posts:
donajimena · 05/10/2018 20:07

Loads of times. Don't worry about it. We should all cry more often. Its good for you.

YeTalkShiteHen · 05/10/2018 20:07

I’m so sorry about your Mum OP Flowers

Yes I have, I don’t cry often, but when I do it’s a doozy.

I broke down the week before my Mum died when DS2 wouldn’t let me put his slippers on at nursery. The deputy scooped me up and sat with me while I sobbed my heart out.

The second was the day I found out Mum was terminal, when her friend cheerily asked how she was doing and I choked out that she was doing fine and just completely crumpled in the middle of Tesco cafe.

I’m sorry you had a hard day today. I always miss Mum more when I’m having a shit day. Brew and Cake for you x

Fairylea · 05/10/2018 20:09

Flowers for you and your mum.

I have cried bucket loads in public. Blush

My worst one was when my now ex dh left me and it was a few weeks afterwards and my mum took me out for lunch and I just sat there and howled. Everyone was just staring at me and in the end I just had to leave. Blush Was years ago. I’m now happily remarried etc but in that moment I just felt really alone.

I think there’s nothing wrong with a good cry.

Luglio · 05/10/2018 20:10

Oh i cry all the time. I cry just imagining how much I'll miss my mother when she's dead. She's in her 70s and last time I looked, was in rude health.

Crying is good. Be kind to yourself Flowers

londonfeather · 05/10/2018 20:13

I totally get it. My mum died when I was 21 so never really got to see me as an adult and I have phases where the sadness really overwhelmes me... sorry you’ve had such a crap day. It’s just so shit not having your mum around and I don’t think a lot of people can understand how hard it is to lose a parent whilst you’re young and plus there is nothing they can do or say to make it better.

Passmethecrisps · 05/10/2018 20:15

Op I am so sorry. It is fine to have a cry. It doesn’t really matter where it was.

The last time I cried in public was probably just over a year ago. Little dd was about 2/3 weeks old and fractious. Big dd was 4 and tired and fed up. Little was screaming and wouldn’t go in the pram. Big one was acting up and I had to hold her wrist to keep her moving. So I was holding wee one up over my shoulder, big one by the wrist and pushing the pram through the shopping centre to find dh. I had tears dripping off my chin I just felt so overwhelmed and tired. I saw many people see me. Mostly older men actually. I saw them see me and they were all sympathy in nothing but eyes. It is hard to describe but I could feel their kindness and almost hear them thinking “you’ll be ok, hen”

I then sat down int he middle of this shopping centre and fed wee one. An acquaintance passed by and I am sure she noticed but she just gushed praise and kindness.

Did people react, OP? Do you think people saw? How would you have liked them to respond?

yetanothernewusername1 · 05/10/2018 20:20

I cried and had a proper meltdown in boots and the pharmacist had to whisk me away. I was struggling to get all my dads end of life drugs and was utterly exhausted and at breaking point.
I do cry a lot though, I'm private, public, happy, sad it's good to show emotion and release it. It's impossible to hold back when it comes like that anyway! Thanks

PuppyMonkey · 05/10/2018 20:20

I cried at work when I returned from maternity leave. the first week had been fine but then I got a really bad sickness bug which kept going then coming back then going. About three weeks in, I woke up AGAIN feeling sick but went in. A colleague asked me to do something really routine and I just burst into tears in front of everyone. She took me off to a meeting room and I had a really good cry and then I was all right. What a palaver.Grin

MrsGrindah · 05/10/2018 20:21

Oh my word OP I could make you laugh with the stories of where I’ve hidden lately to have a good public cry! Lost both parents recently and the grief just overwhelms me, often when I least expect it. Supermarkets, bookshops, even the dentists! I just remember what someone told me which is that grief is a sign of how much someone was loved. And I always carry tissues.

Ted27 · 05/10/2018 20:22

Oh bless you, don't worry about what other people thought, you won't see them again. I think when you lose a loved one, you paper over the whole they have left in your life, but the veneer is thin and sometimes it breaks.

I'm sure your mum would have been proud of you and would have loved to share your achievements with you.

I've cried twice on long train journeys, once after I'd travelled home to the North West after work to see my nan to say goodbye, she had dementia and cancer and didnt have long left. I said my goodbyes and had to travel back to the Midlands the same night. I didn't cry when I was with her, but on the train all my childhood memories came back, we spent a lot of time together, and I cried most of the way home.

The second time was a Christmas Eve, I was taking my cat to the cattery before a six hour journey to Cornwall. On the way he started choking and I ended up at the vets and had to have him put to sleep. That morning he had been running round the garden and he had scoffed his favorite treat of prawns. I loved that cat, I had him from 6 weeks old, he was 11 and was with me through several life traumas. It was the suddeness and shock of it all. I got the last train down to Cornwall, I huddled under my coat, putting the hood over my face and cried all the way.

DelurkingAJ · 05/10/2018 20:23

I cried once over a boyfriend who was being an arse. A lovely lady stopped, gave me a tissue and checked I was alright. I don’t think anyone would ever judge someone for crying, only our sympathy!

gothefcktosleep · 05/10/2018 20:25

Oh bless you Flowers

Yeah I cry all the time but for less reason here’s a few:

  • train late
  • Prince died
  • finished my book
  • listened to Kate Bush

It has its upsides in that usually no one wants to sit next to me on public transport so I get at least 2 seats to myself.

Sending hugs.

Shockers · 05/10/2018 20:29

My mum died last Thursday. I haven’t stopped crying since. I’m crying now for you, me, and anyone else who has lost someone.

She was fit and healthy, then she died.

I want my mum.

Shockers · 05/10/2018 20:34

She didn’t die last Thursday- she died two days ago. She had a brain hemorrhage last Thursday. Time has stood still in a hospital bubble. I don’t know what to do anymore.

MrsGrindah · 05/10/2018 20:37

We are all here to listen ShockersNo one is ever prepared to lose their Mum

MrsGrindah · 05/10/2018 20:39

Actually, we should start an “ Aren’t Mums brilliant ?!,” thread because they really are

vampirethriller · 05/10/2018 20:43

Yes I have. Last time was last week because I slipped over in the park, had pleurisy and am 36 weeks pregnant and my dog was being a tit.
I'm so sorry about your mumFlowers

vampirethriller · 05/10/2018 20:44

Shockers Flowersxxx

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/10/2018 20:49

Oh sweetheart. It just hits you like a ton of bricks sometimes, doesn't it.
I lost my mum in the October and at Christmas I was out shopping and Lonely this Christmas came on I broke my heart.

Inmyownlittlecorner · 05/10/2018 20:50

My Mum died suddenly last week and so far I’ve cried:
In the hospital
In the hospital car park
In Argos returning her Birthday present (she died 4 days after her Birthday)
In Costa
In Homesense
In Boots
In B&M Bargains
At my DDs school multiple times inside the building, in the playground & outside the playground.
There are too many places to list. I’ve never cried in public so much. Hugs to everyone who needs one.

Doilooklikeatourist · 05/10/2018 20:50

💐@Shockers

I cry in the cinema, watching tv ( most memorable when David Tennant stopped being Dr Who ) when Strictly starts

I cried in the nativity play when my DD was in year 1

I cried when DS graduated , I was so proud , and, Mum would have burst with pride

I cried so much when my mum died that my skin on my face dried up , I was dehydrated through grief

I decided to cry every morning in the shower , so I sort of got it done , and could get on with the day

Weeping is nothing to be ashamed of

Inmyownlittlecorner · 05/10/2018 20:54

Flowers for you shockers

motortroll · 05/10/2018 20:55

One cried in front of 60 year 10 kids on a field trip. They were all lovely about it....even the ones that made me cry....Hmm

It's not the first time I've cried at work. The last time was 1 week ago. Teaching is an emotional business I often cry because I'm so proud/happy/feel sorry for people.

My worst moment was on the throes of PND crying at a playgroup because I was so lonely and NOONE came over 🙁

I do cry a lot. I'm out of control!!!

NorthernRunner · 05/10/2018 21:01

To all those that have lost FlowersFlowersFlowers
I cried bucket loads when my dad past away, he died very suddenly so it took almost 2-3months for the penny to drop and that was it. Once the floodgates opened they didn’t close.
I also cried when David Bowie died. I adored him and he was amazing to me.
I cried in public when I fell over outside Tesco, I wasn’t hurt just majorly embarrassed.
I also cried the other day when I got a text to say my grandad had had a stroke (he is fine but the panic was awful)

A580Hojas · 05/10/2018 21:03

I'm so sorry for the recently bereaved people on this thread Flowers.

I cried in public when I walked away from the cash point leaving £80 uncollected, and the money wasn't there when I realised about 2 minutes later.

I cried at my dd's last ever Friday morning dance class before she started school.

I cried on the day my boyfriend (now husband) didn't get a job that would have made it possible to buy our first house together.

On ALL of those occasions I was approached by and comforted by a completely random female stranger. I am so grateful to them all, for being so incredibly kind, it will never be forgotten.

I have paid it forward when I've seen a stranger crying who might need a friendly shoulder. I saw an elderly woman crying on the tube. I asked her if she was alright and she said "No, not really, I've just left my daughter who is so unhappy". This poor lady was easily in her late 70s so her daughter must have been beyond middle age too. It completely impressed on me how caring parents never stop being parents to their children, no matter how old those children might be.