Primary school uniform

[Momof4ggbb]

My 7 year old ds is quirky to say the least although I've never officially had him assessed. I have my reasons ( His previous teacher and our nurse suggested possible Asbergers?) He can get quite anxious about unexpected changes and has some sensory issues i.e I have to cut the tags out of everything he wears or 'it hurts' he only wears socks inside out or 'it hurts' the list goes on. This has caused many a discussion at his school as we tend to fail to agree. They have decided this year to crack down on uniforms. My ds wears the exact school uniform they specify EXCEPT for the embroidered school emblem on his polo shirt and jumper as 'it hurts' ( he wears plain ones in the correct colours) and the heavy clumsy school shoes they insist be worn also 'hurt'. So he is in plain black soft trainer style shoes. No brand. And his trousers cover the majority of them as he is quite small for his age. Every single day a different teacher is removing him from class to question him about his footwear, demanding he wears appropriate shoes the next day. His anxiety is through the roof and it is now a struggle to even get him there every day,let alone on time. This also makes his siblings late as they're at the same school. All of his siblings wear the exact full uniform that the school requests, it's just my youngest that has slight amendments. We've tried many various 'school' shoes but he just refuses to even stand in them and removes them the second he gets a chance. He's always been this way with footwear. The school will not accept plimsolls, elastic or laced, Wellington boots, plain black canvas high ankle boots or any shoe that has any fabric meshing. I'm at a loss as to what to do next. He is not spoiled or acting out or trying his luck. It's just one of his quirks. He's eating his way through shirt collars and jumper cuffs because of the stress (another quirk) or he sucks patches of skin on his arms if theyre left uncovered so hes covered in bruises/hickies. Is a primary school legally allowed to enforce this so adamantly?

Er no. If he has SEN they are legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments. Sorry you're having such a hard time.
Our school is fairly strict on uniform for children who don't have any issues - but they are super relaxed for those who do. My autistic 5yo is in summer polo shirts and soft cotton shorts, none of which is technically part of school uniform but all of which is fine as they treat him like a human being whose needs are a little different.

Talk to the school about the issues. My child's school have allowed us to relax some of the uniform because of sensory issues to (even with no SEN). Let the school know how anxious it is making him and tell them what uniform he will be wearing.

No, absolutely not. As said above, they should be making reasonable adjustments. Can you have him assessed by an OT for the sensory issues? We paid about £350 for one and it gave lots of recommendations for activities at home and school to help with DD's sensory issues. Money well spent as her sensory diet really helps. My DD chews on clothes and hands so we bought her some chewy jewellery which is cheaper to replace than uniform

Just to add: have you tried desenitising his feet before shoes? Might not work for you but worth a shot. We rub one of those spiky balls (wooden massager would work too) on DD's feet before shoes which seems to help. I think Clark's do some sensory friendly shoes; would he be allowed to wear those?

Check out the book The Out of Sync Child too, which contains lots of stratergies to try.

Good luck

Is a primary school legally allowed to enforce this so adamantly?

Without diagnosis, unfortunately they are. Under the Equalities Act 2010 they are legally compelled to make “reasonable adjustments” with regard to a disability. However, without that disability being diagnosed, they don’t legally have to do anything.

Thanks everybody for the advice. After much discussion we made the decision to visit the gp for a professional opinion and a bit of advice, as this half term holiday has been full of anxiety for ds about having to return to school. She confirmed it would seem to be more complex than just 'quirky behaviour' and has made a referral to the local paediatric team for a more detailed evaluation. If nothing else, it should ensure that the school shows him some tolerance and a little leniency, so I've been told. We shall see

This isn't something a GP can solve, it's the first step in a long road OP, however o would see if the GP can't make a letter regarding possibly assessment and sensory issues to the school, and request a uniform relaxation

I realise the gp appointment in itself isn't enough especially as the school have so far been entirely uninterested in any amount of improvising even on a temporary basis. However, I was assured that paper evidence from the specialist paediatric team,after the detailed assessment, would be enough to allow ds a little breathing space, whilst awaiting any management plan/ treatment as such?