Anyone else struggling with life?

[Eliminatetheimpossible]

I am. Can't seem to cope on a daily basis. Feeling depressed and tired most days now.

Work is a nightmare. It used to be good, but the people on my team are annoying to work with. They moan about each other all day long, but never try to sort the issues and do the same things themselves. They let you struggle with your work load and never offer to help, although I offer to help them when I can. They complain about the most insignificant things, constantly moan about Britain and how other countries are so much better (fuck off back there then?), and in general are a bit selfish. The actual work they do though most of all is spot on, I just wish that they would use some initiative and help out more, or not focus on stupid spreadsheets when we are being hit with a ton of important work. This is multiple people by the way. I'm stressed trying to do 2 jobs, both meant to be full time and I have to somehow do both by myself. And work tries to push a third job onto me which I'm ignoring as I can't cope already. My boss knows I'm stressed but can't do anything. It's not his fault honestly, it's his bosses fault.

Home life is shit too. I come home from a stressful day at work, to find the house a mess. Every day. I live with a partner who works from home and no matter how I ask, he will not help me. He will do his jobs (well half of them) and nothing else. But is fine to leave a mess everywhere he goes and when I ask him to stop it, all I get is 'but I'm a messy person' or 'it's your job to clean up'. I can't get it through to him. He doesn't even have a busy job, he does a few phone calls and emails. The rest of the day is spent on his playstation, playing games. I've posted about him before. It's getting tempting to change the Internet password, but all he'll do then is threaten to break my stuff if he can't play.

I do a part time college degree too and am struggling with that. I can't get the time to do the work as I'm either exhausted from work or trying to keep on top of cleaning the house. I don't get any of it and the teacher is useless. Considering quitting to be honest as I can't cope.

Also on top of that I own a horse that is going through rehab and I feel guilty that his saddle no longer fits. I didn't realise and had been riding him still. Not anymore but still feel bad about it. I can't keep on top of his rehab either because I'm so tired and he's just going to get worse again I know it. I can't do anything right by him.

I've been to the doctor recently about this as I've been sick so much recently. All I got was stronger pills for my migraines. Can't afford counselling, clearly not going to get any help with my health. I can't move out of my house either from my partner as I'll have nowhere to live. Here, renting prices are sky high, way more than the properties are worth and pay is shit. Plus there's a lot of people looking, I'd never get one. Was lucky to get this house.

My plan this weekend is to try and get some control back. Going to gut the house from top to bottom on Saturday afternoon while he is out playing pool. Sunday I'm gonna try and understand my college stuff. Doubt I will but worth a shot.

Sorry that was long. It helps a bit to let it out.

You seem very busy, and it sounds like your partner isn't adding much to your life.

It's good to let it out even just typing it out.

I'm exhausted with life tbh and often wonder what the point is as it's a constant uphill battle between one thing and another.

Just know you're not alone

He does really, he's just not helpful around the house. I've asked nicely, explained how it would help me through to yelling at him. I shouldn't, but I'm so stressed and I don't understand why he won't help.

He agreed finally the other day to actually put clothes away after washing and drying them. Has he done it? No. He actually asked me to help him do it so he can see how to fold them and where they go. This isn't rocket science. Why can't he just open the drawers and deduce from there where the clothes go? He knows where his go so it's just mine he needs to figure out. It's not difficult.

Just do your stuff and leave him to do his. He can clear up his own mess, do his own washing/drying/ironing. Call him Eustace (Useless).

He shouldn't be "helping" you - he should be pulling his weight because he lives there too.
And that part about him threatening to break your stuff if he can't play his games is just horrible.

Well done for trying to get control back in your life, remember bite sized pieces is the way to go. Concentrate on one bit at a time to help you get a grip on things.

'Partner' - what benefit does he bring to your life? He sounds abusive threatening to break things of yours if he doesn't get his own way. Do you have children or own property together? If not, I'd dump him asap and that will reduce your stress greatly. He can play on his computer games like a little boy to his heart's content at his Mummy's house. Get rid of him, you deserve better.

Job - can you reduce or condense your working hours to a shorter week e.g. 3/4 days to release study time? Can you start job hunting?

Course - can you change the length of your course from p/t to doing a module at a time over a longer period? It'll take longer to graduate but help reduce your work load before you burn out.

Counselling , you can access free NHS talking therapies via your G.P. go and talk to them.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/types-of-therapy/

I would leave him to do his own stuff, but he won't do it. He'll just moan about it, and besides the mess he creates winds me up. Like when he makes a coffee, every fucking day he spills sugar. Dunno how but he manages. Doesnt bother to clean it up. He leaves all of his stuff on the floor, shoes are in the living room when they should be on the mat in the kitchen since they are muddy. There's a towel on his side of the bed that's been there for a few weeks now. Ive refused to move it, but probably going to tomorrow. He says I'm over the top on cleanliness, I don't see how to be honest. I don't like clutter, rubbish left on the floor, clothes left all over the place rather than in the baskets for cleaning. He's got laptops all over the floor in the living room and cables rather than tidying them away under the stool.

I am looking for a new job but it's difficult in this area and I can't move. Have applied for one recently and had an interview. I can't reduce my hours though, I'm already on 4 days a week with the 5th at college.

Can't reduce modules at college either. It's only one module this semester but it's a double module.

My GP doesn't seem to think I'm that bad. I told him I used to be anaemic and that could be causing my ill health but he didn't take blood to check.