Long time lurker, never posted but desperate, hope someone can reach out.
Been with DH now for 4 years, married for 2, we have 2 children (1 year apart).
Obviously we moved very fast.. anyways, when we met he was using various dating sites which I knew about but assumed he stopped once we were "a couple".. apparently not but eventually did (not sure when though).. I had so much other stuff going on and just trusted him/never paid enough attention to details (foolish)..well..a year or so later he's on a website for affairs, I found out by pure accident, he tried to play "dumb" but admitted he was just bored and looking/pop up from po*n, no intentions to cheat on me just looking..I got over it but since then something just didn't feel right like he got over me in the past or something.. I looked at phone records, bunch of random numbers some scammers but was never able to identify who they belonged to if anyone so swept it under the rug (there was never ONE number/constant contact EXCEPT for one on a single day which was under a female name in his phone that he claims to this day he has no idea who that person is).. NOW Ive found out he had a profile on Ashley Madison but have no idea when he created it expect for that we were together because he put that he was in a relationship but wanted to "play" and had the location where we lived..even if he tried to claim the same thing it shows that he reached out to 3 women but no time stamp expect the month just not year, it could be months old, a year old, two years old heck 3 years old.. no idea..but nonetheless it was when we were together.. I haven't told him I know and I see it pointless to say anything as he minimizes his behaviors.. feel like there's more he hasn't come clean about but he's the type that will take things to his grave unless there's IRREFUTABLE evidence which even then he'll still try to get out of or minimize or play dumb "I don't know", "I don't remember" "it's old" "that was a long time ago".. idk what to do. He'll just say I'm crazy that I'm worried about something that old but I feel like he hasn't been honest with me and told me everything, obviously since I just found another site he was on.. I mean how can you forget that you created an account on a website for affairs? Could he really have forgetten that? He had his pic on there everything.. i know this is what he will say, he forgot or didn't see a point in telling me when I asked him to come clean about everything.. other than this he's a good father and works hard but I'm not sure I can say he's "good" to me if he doesn't respect me enough to tell the whole truth and not play games. Advice?