I can't cope at uni

[veryconcerned299]

I'm finding I'm having one panic attack after another. Had a nervous breakdown in August. Treated with lorazepam and Prozac. Now back to squuarw one almost. In a lecture just now and I can feel myself losing it against. So frightened and lonely and frustrated with myself.

OP.

Do you want to continue studying?

Yes. But it's all so overwhelming and I feel so bloody stupid every day. I'm 27 and I can see some of the wee 18 year olds handling better than me. It's an NHS degree. My lecturers know I am struggling .

I just want someone to come and give me a hug and take me for coffee or tell me I'm alright, I haven't gor anyone who would want to do that .

Would it be worth taking a break? I did, my uni course was making me seriously ill with stress and in the end I didn't go back.

They've offered that, a year out, but that's what scares me, that I wouldn't go back, and I'm not sure I'd have a home to live in if I left.

Do you know what aspects of uni life are stressing you out? Is it the financial strain? The academic pressure? The workload? The social situation?
Is there anything rigth now that you feel you are coping with well? That you are handling OK?

What is it that's causing uou thr biggest issue? Are you finding the work too challenging? Setting up a study group can help you, you won't be alone.

Financially , I'm at the end of my overdraft, uni keep telling me to apply for discretionary fund , for extra help, but I'm overwhelmed by the form.

Socially - totally isolated. Feel a fish out of water.

Academic pressure too much work too quick and no explaianfion or support.

I'm eating OK... and showering every day.. but I'm not sleeping well at all.

May I ask, OP, do you have pressure from family to continue?

OP please take some time out from your studies. I've been there, it wasn't pretty. Ask for help filling out the form, then just gather yourself a bit. Which course? Nursing?

Family couldn't care less to be honest - my mum wants me to continue , rest of family I think they're not bothered what I do day to day. I wish they were to be honest!

Speech and Language therapy which doesn't sound that hard but my God it is

Ok, then having a positive plan in place can help.

Let's address them one by one.

I'm at the end of my overdraft, uni keep telling me to apply for discretionary fund , for extra help, but I'm overwhelmed by the form.

There will be a student support team, ask for help in filling in the form. They will point uou in the right direction of who to ask.

Socially - totally isolated. Feel a fish out of water

Ok, can you join some clubs or support groups? My daughter emailed her fellow students and asked if anyone wanted to do a study group. Enough people took her up on the offer and they all supported each other.

Academic pressure too much work too quick and no explaianfion or support

Again, see above. A study group could help.

Your uni will have a team to support students cope, and many groups you could attend,

The key here is not to be frozen into inactivity. But to make thr first small baby steps and feel like you're doing something to address your issues.

Is your personal tutor aware of how overwhelmed you're feeling? Could they help you with the form?
Is there an advice centre at the university or the students' union you could chat to?
With the academic work, is there a "learning development/academic skills/study skills" support team at the uni? These are often found in your department or in the library, and they should be able to help with that side of things.
Are you absolutely sure there's no friend or relative who would sit for a coffee with you?
I'm not surprised at all you're not sleeping well! You poor thing . Try to get one thing sorted, maybe the form for the money first, before you try to tackle anything else. Trying to deal with loads of things at once won't help with the overwhelmed feelings.
Wishing you all the best!

When did u start your studies? Ru just in the first month or so? It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed and incapable when you’re in the early stages, it’s a giant learning curve.

Would dropping a unit make the study load easier? Can u go to a part time load?

Yes yes to those suggesting personal tutor support - perhaps you have spoken to a tutor on your course but universities now are very very aware of MH issues and central student services should be there to support you. I wonder if you have been able to speak to the proper support services yet? You will most likely have access to student support with counsellors available who specialise in what you're going through, please please search your university website for student support and see what you can find. I work in a university and I know we are reminded constantly that we need to let students know of the specialist support that's available.

I had support from student welfare whilst at uni. I began a degree years ago and my marriage ended at the end of second year. I didn’t go back. With my second I knew if I took time out I would not go back. Student welfare assess and provide 1 : 1 support if needed, extra time on assignments and exams which I had. They can also point you in the direction of organisations that can help you.

Too many obstacles all at once can be overwhelming.

You've identified 3 main areas of stress:-

Finance

Cultural challenges (your age and the university environment)

Academic challenges

In addition (and related to the cultural challenge of your age and the unfamiliarity of the university environment) you identify a lack of emotional support.

So ...

Take them one by one. Accept that they really ARE a challenge, that they make you anxious.

Then try and tackle them ... separately ... and CONGRTULATE yourself for every step forward you make.

Loneliness, brought about by being different from the average student, is a big deal. Dammit, it makes you a vulnerable student, at risk of dropping out.

You feel like an alien and lack the support networks of other students. Not only do you miss the really important informal emotional support, you miss the informal networks of academic support friendship groups provide.

This matters.

You should flag it up with a tutor and also take a real deep breath and try and make some friends. See it as a module on the course.

Finance - that really matters. Get someone to help you with the form. Explain you have so many disparate area of stress you are feeling imobilised. Get help. It's there - call on it.

Academic - it WILL come. You're rusty AND you're stressed, suffering from cognitive overload. You're dealing with analysing and negotiating an unfamiliar setting, you feel threatened because the lack of familiarity makes you feel vulnerable. Of course you can't give a full, calm attention to the academic side!!

But it WILL come.

Short-term, take a deep breath and, in a lactate, when reading, take a minute to allow yourself to BE INTERESTED. You did this course because you were interested. It hasn't changed. It's still interesting. What's changed is that you're too stressed to be happy.

But you deserve to be. You deserve to enjoy this.

It sounds mad but you need to remind yourself of this.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/types-of-therapy/

Get some counselling, your university welfare team should have an onsite counsellor.

As others have said go to your student welfare team in relation to counselling etc.

Regarding the form make an appointment with the Student union sabbatical officer either welfare or education and welfare they can assist with the form help you fill it in etc. I did this position for a year and helped out with loads. They can also offer practical tips and information.

Clubs are a great way to meet people not all are the massive, most unis have a mature student society, or department society j
Etc

Go to student services OP, see what they can do to help. I used to work at a Uni for student services, as a 'friend' for people in just your situation. I would help students who were struggling for whatever reason, with filling in forms, walking around campus, going for coffee, generally getting stuff done. Give them a shout, they're there to help. I can't guarantee they'll offer exactly the same service but I'm sure they'll be able to help somehow.

Whereabouts are you? I wonder if a local mumsnetter could meet up with you occasionally so you have a friendly face and a listening ear?

I struggled my way through uni and would happily buy you the occasional coffee and have a chat if you’re near me.

Please go to see student services OP. They’ll have a wellbeing team who see this kind of thing all the time (sadly).
They can also talk you through the funding forms and help you complete them as well as offering a whole range of other support.
Be kind to yourself, becoming a student is a massive life change. By asking for help on here you’re showing a lot of strength.

I’ve just started SLT OP. I have a lot of higher education under my belt (more than one postgrad degree) & am finding there is a lot of info to take in. It is quite overwhelming in terms of information to get through. So I understand why you feel that way.

I have a disastrous life outside uni at the moment - no control over it at all and can’t change it. For that reason I am doing SLT part time. Is that an option where you are? I get some maintenance from student finance but also have the time to work, I was just reflecting yesterday after a very full on lecture in the morning (that I will need to spend today going over again) that I am very pleased I went part time because there is no way I would cope with the volume of work & everything going on in the rest of my life.

My place only introduced part time this year - so may be worth exploring whether it is an option? I am hoping to do later years full time, but was told if I start then find I need to drop back to part time again that would be fine.

Feel free to PM me. I don’t think how you are feeling is that unusual for SLT - certainly a lot of people on my course were using the overwhelmed word yesterday. xx

If you are anxious it is very hard to absorb information so that makes you feel stupid.
As far as I know you need to achieve 40% to pass most exams so you are not aiming for 95%, you just need to pass.
Things that help me with anxiety - exercise, there must be a gym or get out of doors to walk, it gets the endorphins going and makes you feel happier. Look at and focus on something, anything in the room, takes you out of your thoughts and helps to distract and therefore calm you. Eat nice healthy food, try to avoid too much sugar. Again fresh air and exercise to help you sleep. In bed, again look at something in the room and let your mind wander so that you aren't focussing on your on thoughts. Read a good easy book to take your mind off things.
Talk to someone about your worries, that is the best way to get them off your mind. Failing that write everything down on a daily basis. Hopefully when you look back in a few months you'll wonder who it was writing this stuff, best of luck.