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Original poster

Do you know any (female) teenager/adolescent who did NOT get stroppy?

22 replies

Justgivemeasoddingname · 04/10/2018 09:42

I have a very close friend- one of my best- who has one daughter, only one child, she's 11. She is a very nice girl, if a little self centred although considerate too. Friend says she will NOT be a stroppy teenager. I think this is because I have 2 occasionally stroppy teenagers (and other children) and she thinks it won't happen to her.

Correct? Do some children sail through it? Or is she just in denial?

OP posts:

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 04/10/2018 09:49

Weeeellll........at 15 and 16, my DDs are so far so good.........am I possibly jinxing it by speaking too soon .
They didn’t have toddler temper tantrums either, so either I got lucky or I am, in fact, the world’s most perfect mother, ahem .

teaandtoast · 04/10/2018 09:53

Yep, mine.

moonlight1705 · 04/10/2018 09:56

Judas I was the most lovely teenager until the age of 17 then turned into a huge bitch for a year before I left to go to uni.

I really pity my parents as my younger sister was being a typical teenager aged 15 so we were at it together.

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11 year olds

LemonysSnicket · 04/10/2018 09:58

No , DSis got stroppy at 13, my stroppiness was delayed and was 16-18

ProfYaffle · 04/10/2018 10:00

Dd1 is 14 and mostly not stroppy. At worst she can be a bit sharp and unwittingly rude but not full on tantrummy/awful.

reallyanotherone · 04/10/2018 10:10

What do you mean though?

Most teenagers I know are no more “stroppy” than adults, toddlers or younger children. They maybe can’t express why they are upset or angry as an adult, or don’t feel like they can say why they are upset because the adult is still “in charge”, and they are worried about punishment or adults thinking less of them, iyswim.

My lasting memory of being a teenager is being labelled moody and stroppy, when in reality I needed to talk to someone, without judgement, to help me process. I didn’t get that so I’d get upset, and lash out, which got labelled as hormones and never taken seriously. On the occasions i did try to speak up I was again dismissed as moody teenager.

So yes, my kids get stroppy. So do I. So does dh. If something makes you upset or angry you should be able to express it and people should listen.

Not being able to express or talk about stuff is more of a problem imo.

TheHollowLeggedGoat · 04/10/2018 10:13

at worst she can be a bit sharp and unwittingly rude but not full on tantrummy/awful
This describes my 16yo - but could say the same about most people of any age when they're feeling stressed or pressured.
My 13yo is a real pleaser and has always been very empathetic - I cannot imagine that anything will change. She's sometimes tearful / emotional but never angry or aggressive.
They're lovely girls and we feel in a good place as a family these days.

Loonoon · 04/10/2018 10:26

I don’t know anyone of any age stage or gender who isn’t stroppy occasionally. Teenagers, whether boys or girls, do have the edge though.

Original poster

Justgivemeasoddingname · 04/10/2018 10:35

reallyanotherone I mean, I'm feeling a bit meh by her comments re my normal teenager because she says she won't accept her daughter being a grumpy teen. It's criticism that has upset me slightly I suppose.

OP posts:

reallyanotherone · 04/10/2018 10:40

Is it criticism?

Your kids are likely equally stroppy. You see the strops as a side effect of being a teenager, she maybe sees getting cross or angry every so often as normal human behaviour. So to her your kids would be no more stroppy than an adult or toddler, same as hers.

My teenager is no more stroppy than anyone else. So if you asked me I’d say I don’t have a “stroppy teenager” too [shrug]

BertieBotts · 04/10/2018 10:41

My sister. I was awful though :o

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 04/10/2018 10:55

My DSD was never stroppy. She's an extremely sensible girl. But then she had to be. Her upbringing was very far from ideal, with her DM pissed a lot and a new man every few weeks. Scary for a child.

Her DF and I represented stability so she was pleased to be with us and very good company. She didn't fight with her DM because you wouldn't want to do anything to provoke her DM. Though, to be fair, her DM has changed so much since then. She's a different woman all these years later.

Dowser · 04/10/2018 10:55

My daughter...just brilliant

brainache78 · 04/10/2018 10:57

I think mine will be. But not because she'll be a teenager, but because she's a stroppy little mare by nature. She's only 6 at the moment.

KriswithaK · 05/10/2018 15:33

I’m mid 40s & even now, my oldest friend from when we were 12 didn’t & never strops. She had down days but never moody, never anti.

Her Mum was the calmest person on the planet who listened heartily to everyone’s troubles, making them feel absolute priority.

I think my friend gets it from her.

sonlypuppyfat · 05/10/2018 15:36

DD is 17, she's my best friend, a lovely young woman. She was a stroppy toddler though

hidingmystatus · 05/10/2018 16:50

My DD is almost never stroppy with us. I think that's her nature, though.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 05/10/2018 16:55

I think "stroppy" is just a child dealing with both the physiological and sociological changes of becoming an adult.

I was the perfect teen in every way. Unfortunately it was because behind closed doors I had a very difficult upbringing and haf to deal with the fall out of that mentally in later years

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 05/10/2018 16:58

I spent my teenage years being told I was unreasonable and stroppy. My Mum/Step Dad thought it was appropriate to bow to my younger-by-5-years sister's demands and made sure I had the same rules and curfews as her as it was easier for them to ignore my complaints and label me argumentative than it was to deal with the fall out if she didn't get her own way. Things like I had to be in bed at 8pm when I was 16 or give up my possessions if my sister demanded them. Neither of them worked but I would be grounded if I didn't do the housework, despite being in school/college full time and having a part time job on evenings and weekends. In reality I was a quiet, agreeable child who just wanted to be treated better. I wouldn't have had the balls to act like a brat because I was so scared of them.

Funnily enough, I left home at 16 and didn't really come back for any extended period. The shit hit the fan when they realised they had made a HUGE rod for their back with my sister. Fast forward 20 years and not a lot has changed. I am married, own home, good job but my sister has a car crash of a life that they still enable.

ALL of my older relatives say I was a DREAM as a teenager! My favorite person in the world is my Step Mum because she treated me exactly how I should have been.

BonnesVacances · 05/10/2018 17:02

My Dsis wasn't stroppy as a teenager. DD isn't either but that's because she's spent most of her teenage years too ill to strop, but she was an horrendous toddler so maybe she'd got it out of her system anyway.

LusaCole · 05/10/2018 17:07

I think it's true that not all teens are stroppy. However, I can see why her comment annoyed you as you felt it was a reflection on your DDs. She sounds a bit smug and irritating.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 05/10/2018 17:09

My stepdaughter wasn't a stroppy teen. She was (and is) an absolute delight.

Just don't ask what she was like between the ages of 2-7 though! She nearly put my off having my own kids!

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