There's no way of asking about this without sounding like an arsehole is there?

[HellenaHandbasket]

Sorry for vague title, trying to figure out how to word it.

One of my kids attends a class once a week for an hour. In someone's home, it's a new group. Went for a taster session (paid for) and on the back of that paid the following week for "half a term" of classes. Not mega bucks but enough.

The following week a message came out to say the teacher's parent was potentially close to death and so classes were cancelled. Same goes for this week.

Now this is the arsehole part, do you interpret half a term as a set number of lessons or a time period? Do the missed weeks get added on? As you can see, I can't ask as it would sound, quite rightfully, quite arseholey. But a couple of the other parents and I were wondering how others would interpret the arrangement.

I like the class and would like him to keep going, but it is very new and quite loose at the moment, but not cheap cheap.

I don’t think it’s areholey.

Respond back, really sorry to hear about your parent.

Will the classes be refunded or moved to next term?

The tutor can’t keep your monies under these circumstances.

I think it's a question of when you ask. You don't need to know right now, do you? It would just be kinder to give them a bit of space and ask at an appropriate moment.

Yes quite, my thoughts are wait until we go back and see if anything is said

I pay for my pilates classes in 'half-term' blocks. Sometimes its 6 weeks, sometimes its 7 weeks. We are charged less when its 6 weeks obviously as it works out about £9 per class. We use local school holidays for the terms counting.

In your position I would ask if its a 6 week half term or a 7 week half term. Or could you count the weeks on the calendar from your fist class up to the local schools' half term holidays?

*first class (not fist class)

I would wait and see what the teacher says when the classes restart again. If it was me who was running the class I think i would offer you the choice of either carrying over the missed lessons to the next half term, or having a refund if you didn’t want to keep coming to the classes.
Either way, you can avoid looking like an arsehole by simply waiting to see what is said next time you’re at the class

Why don't you send an email along the lines of 'I am so sorry to hear about your parent, must be very difficult for you etc etc. Thank you for letting me know about the class cancellation. We can sort out the issue of refunds / rearranging the sessions when you are back up and running again. Best wishes and thinking of you etc etc'

Hopefully comes across as sensitive but also makes the point that you are expecting the money side to be sorted out at some point.

My child does a class similar to how this sounds, privately arranged etc. Classes get added on if they have to miss or something comes up, for example one week no one could attend due to other unavoidable commitments so the instructor added it on to the block of lessons.

I would leave it for just now as they are obvs in turmoil, and unlikely to have over cash right now.
Work out how much each session this term would cost and once this has ended (ie parent dies/recovers, classes resume) then when you go to pay for next term you can easily state "as we missed 3 weeks from last term at £5 per week shall i just deduct the £15 from this term?"

Unless you think this is actually a scam, I'd wait until the situation is resolved and she re-starts communication a out classes.

Certainly, there should be either a refund, or an offer to roll over missed classes to the next half term etc.

I am so sorry to hear about your parent, must be very difficult for you etc etc. Thank you for letting me know about the class cancellation. We can sort out the issue of refunds / rearranging the sessions when you are back up and running again. Best wishes and thinking of you etc etc

That does NOT come across as sensitive!

scortja no it doesn’t at all does it 😱
Op, give the teacher some credit, and also some time to sort things out.

Agree, that does not sound sensitive at all, it sounds as though your main concern is the money. Wait and hopefully they will be in touch soon.

It's not arseholey at all. This is a business arrangement and the lessons have been cancelled (not just postponed) and no further information given. I wonder why the teacher embarked on a course of lessons when they knew that their dp was so ill, and would need extra time and attention. Nigel's advice is spot on. (Tbh I'd be a bit suspicious, but I am a lawyer and my spidey senses are easily aroused).

But maybe the teacher didn't know her parent was ill when she started the course!

I'd wait. There's no need to bring up the issue of money for the moment. You'd already paid it anyway and I expect the teacher will mention it once classes start again. If nothing is said by the end of term, that would be the time to raise it, imo.

Usually when people offer a service on a self-employed basis like this, they would not charge for any missed or cancelled lessons/sessions/appointments they have cancelled. I would therefore assume the teacher will extend the term to 'replace' the cancelled lessons.

I do something comparable for a living, and lost my dad this summer. I took one day off work while he was dying, one the day after he died plus one for the funeral. Most of my customers were fantastic and sensitive, they let me be until I was able to catch everything up and give them options for refund/replacement sessions about a week later. One was not - I had a series of messages two days after his death telling me she was booking alternative sessions elsewhere at great inconvenience, when could she return and where was her refund. She is no longer a customer.

I'd add that I don't think that it's suspicious that she has booked classes while her parent is dying. She is SE and needs to work, and presumably won't get paid if she doesn't, which is the very reason why I only took so little time off and why I, for example, worked through a miscarriage last year. Even if her parent was terminally ill she can't just give up working for an unforseeable amount of time. It may not have been predictable either. My dad went into hospital for something minor, but caught an infection and then sepsis in hospital. We were told that he was likely dying a few days before he died, but he'd been at home and relatively fit and well the week before.

I'd just suggest giving her until her return and discussing the plan to make up sessions then.

I am also suspicious unfortunately due to what happened in my village with a class teacher. She seemed a very nice lady, good class etc etc. People paid up front for a series of lessons, she had a family emergency, cancelled classes and then announced she was no longer running the classes. It's been very difficult for people to get their money back including the Village Hall who hadn't been paid rent.

As much as you want to be nice, you will have to mention it at some point. If the person is genuine they will want to reassure people it will be resolved. At the end of the day, this person has your money OP but you haven't had the tuition.