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Original poster

WWYD - little boy at school and Breakfast...

25 replies

Belletower · 04/10/2018 09:21

My Son's school runs a breakfast club before the school day begins every morning where Parents and siblins are allowed to join. Food is very cheap and DS loves going.

For the last couple of days he has been sitting with another boy in the mornings. DH went yesterday (we take it in turns) and when DS asked the boy what he was having for breakfast the boy replied "Nothing. My Dad just went bankrupt so we don't have any money". DS then very kindly shared his sausage roll and drink with the friend.

I don't have a problem with this at all, and thought it was very nice of DS to share. My problem is that this boy appears to be going hungry in the mornings and from what he tells us doesn't get fed before coming in either.

I know that realistically this boys circumstances are none of my business, but would it be unreasonable of me to bring it up with the safeguarding lead? I worry that the boy may not be getting the support he needs, but equally I am concerned about DS sharing each and every breakfast with him in the morning.

It's not my responsibility to feed another parents child I know, but I don't want the boy going hungry - I know the school would be able to set up a provision for him if needed. Also, I wonder if the boy is telling us the whole truth about the situation, although I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

So, WWYD?

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 04/10/2018 09:39

Report to the safeguarding lead. If the boy is in need, they will be able to access the relevant services. If the boy is lying, that will be established and he will be told the consequences of his actions.

I would always sooner report a concern and have it turn out to be nothing than ignore and kick myself when issues are flagged up later.

beingsunny · 04/10/2018 09:42

I think I would notify the school, it may be something or nothing.
He may be having breakfast at home but anything like my son would eat three breakfasts and still be hungry Wink

JessicaJonesJacket · 04/10/2018 09:47

I'd mention it to the school.
As a PP said, the little boy might be eating at home but also happy to eat some of your DS'.
I remember DS had a friend who never had a snack so DS always shared. I actually ended up sending in two snacks every day. It turned out that the friend left the house with lots of snacks but managed to eat them all in the morning before school Grin

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BarbaraofSevillle · 04/10/2018 09:49

Sounds like the family need a referral to a food bank. Is this something the school safeguarding lead can help with?

If the bankruptcy is very recent, I think this means that all bank accounts are frozen temporarily, but should be sorted out within a few days.

Following bankruptcy, the Official Receiver should work with the bankruptee to review their income and basic expenditure and see if there is any money available to pay towards the debts after living expenses have been paid, ie depending on the household income, once things get sorted out, they may have enough money to buy food and pay for other essentials, they are just freed from unmanageable debts.

Of course if the household income is very low and/or their rent is high, they might still be struggling to pay their rent, buy food and pay for other essentials, but they will be entitled to benefits and possibly have wages coming in, but that depends on their circumstances.

Sparklyfee · 04/10/2018 10:05

I know it's not your place to have to feed the boy but I'd just buy his breakfast for a couple of days and see what happens. It might be just a temporary blip and he'll turn up with the 10p etc for his toast in a couple of days

I know my advice is completely wrong but that's honestly what I'd do!

Original poster
Belletower · 04/10/2018 10:08

@beingsunny and @JessicaJonesJacket see, my DS is the same! He could eat all day given the chance(and stays super skinny, too Envy ), so it did cross my mind.

@BarbaraofSevillle I would assume that Safeguardin could at the very least guide the family in the right direction of food banks and Bankruptcy assistance. In addition they could support the boy in any way he needs, too.

@minisoksmakehardwork You are absolutely right. I would rather make something of nothing in this case than ignore it and for the boys potentially bad situation to worsen. I'll give the safeguarding team a call.

OP posts:
E20mom · 04/10/2018 10:09

I'd tell the school

MyOtherProfile · 04/10/2018 10:10

Good move to tell the school. The family might be eligible for pupil premium which could help.

Ooforfoxsakeridesagain · 04/10/2018 10:11

Absolutely tell them.

There will be provision in place to help him, they just need to know.

Original poster
Belletower · 04/10/2018 10:12

@Sparklyfee I did consider doing just this. It has only happened for the last couple of days, but I did consider whether it would be appropriate or not. I would hate for him to go hungry.

He told me this morning that he hadn't had a drink at all that morning and he was really thirsty. I did say that water at school was free and grabbed him a cup, which he guzzled down.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 04/10/2018 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReginaPhalangee · 04/10/2018 10:15

Tell the school - safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. They ought to be able to help the family if it turns out there is a need. How sad Sad

JessicaJonesJacket · 04/10/2018 10:20

In our case the child with no snacks had spun DS a sob story about why they had no snacks or food. It was completely untrue and just a ploy to get him to share Grin
I'm not saying that's the case with the little boy at your school. And I'm glad you're going to let them know. It's worth flagging up even from the pov of the little boy possibly having allergies or not being allowed some food your DS may innocently share.

Sparklyfee · 04/10/2018 10:35

I know, it's tricky. You are doing the right thing though

Gersemi · 04/10/2018 10:41

You do need to tell the school, but I'd be seriously sceptical about the bankruptcy story. When you go bankrupt that doesn't leave you with no money to feed your family.

FruitofAutumn · 04/10/2018 10:41

If you are bankrupt you are still left with enough money to feed yourself and your family
Also - the school are giving them sausage rolls for breakfast??

Largepiecesofcrookedwood · 04/10/2018 10:43

Depending on the age of the boy (not that old I'm guessing since you or you DH are still delivering your own child in person) I wouldn't expect him to come up with the word "bankrupt" unless it was something he had heard personally.
DS would have been likely to say "dad hasn't got any money" but the word "bankrupt" wouldn't even register on his radar unless we had been talking about it at home.

glamorousgrandmother · 04/10/2018 10:46

He might have heard the family discussing the bankruptcy and drawn his own conclusions, perhaps the parents don't realise he is so worried.
You should let the school know then someone can talk to his parents discreetly.

Gersemi · 04/10/2018 10:48

I wouldn't expect him to come up with the word "bankrupt" unless it was something he had heard personally.

But it's a word a child may easily hear if it crops up on TV, for instance.

PinkHeart5914 · 04/10/2018 10:49

I’d buy the poor little thing breakfast!

Then I’d mention it to school, Yes he could be a greedy child that wants 2 breakfasts but most children don’t lie about bankruptcy do they? So I’m inclined to belive him.

The school I should think would be able to chat to the parents and maybe schools can refer to food banks or whatever I’m not sure

Original poster
Belletower · 04/10/2018 11:51

My thoughts exactly RE: the word Bankrupt. It would be odd for a 7yo to understand what bankruptcy is and what it means. He specifically said "Daddy has gone bankrupt".

Update: As i was typing the safeguarding lead has called me back. We have a plan of action for the morning. Very glad I reported as he seemed concerned and was thankful.

And yes, i'll get him something to eat and drink in the morning. I can't bear the thought of the poor little man starving.

OP posts:
Original poster
Belletower · 09/10/2018 09:36

UPDATE

I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for encouraging me to speak to safeguarding about this.

I went in this morning and the little lad had breakfast! I didn't realise it at the time, but he had two equally hungry siblings. Seeing him so happy and them all eating and knowing I had alerted the teacher to allow a difference to be made has made me so happy, and cemented my faith in the school.

Thank you all again Flowers

OP posts:
AviatorShades · 09/10/2018 09:49

Now I've got makeup on and my mascara isnt waterproof. My eyes suddenly are leaking. Well done OP and the people here who encouraged you Flowers for everyone, oh! and Cake for the little boy and his sibsSmile
And now time to check my mascara and get off to the battle front...

motherlondon · 09/10/2018 09:51

Good on you. Hopefully things will pick up for them. Well done for caring.

TheFaerieQueene · 09/10/2018 10:03

It is dreadful that any child is going hungry. It makes me furious that I’m a country of such ostentatious wealth, children don’t have enough to eat.

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