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How to word an awkward let down by text

10 replies

Bobcat14 · 03/10/2018 20:01

Doing this for my friend (a) who has found herself in awkward position. Another friend (b) is looking for venues to host her new sales business (think tupperware-type thing). Friend b is being very pushy to get friend a to secure a pre-Xmas date and invite family and other friends. Friend a was obviously very supportive of friend b starting this business but is really not keen on the product herself and is very reluctant to put her own family friends in awkward position by asking them to come to this party and making them feel they have to buy something. She also knows she'll end up forking out for food, alcohol etc if it does go ahead. How does she gently let her down? I've suggested she leaves it for a bit and then says that she's spoken to friends and response has been a little lukewarm and so many are already busy in run up to Xmas but that sounds like quite a lame excuse. She needs to word the let down sincerely and sensitively although it needs to be final too. All correspondence has been by text so far so a text reply needs composing. Any suggestions? Friend b prone to taking things a bit personally and getting upset so really does need to be kindly worded so there's no big fall out.

OP posts:
AngelSlides · 03/10/2018 20:04

Friend B needs to say she’s mentioned it to family/friends but half of them have just been to a similar party and the other half are struggling money wise so couldn’t put them in a position to but non essentials just before Xmas

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 03/10/2018 20:08

With this kind of MLM marketing type of thing scam, you actually have to be quite firm as the seller relies on having a brass neck and emotionally black mailing friends and family into hosting these parties and buying stuff. I've been on the receiving end more than once. Supporting someone in doing this is actually not fair and encouraging them to get more enmeshed into what is basically a pyramid scheme

I would suggest sending a text saying: Hi - I've been thinking about the the party and it actually won't work for me. Shall we meet up for coffee soon - let me know when suits.

Any more attempts to discuss can be met with a smile and a repeat of: "No. That won't work for me". Do not explain further and do not give into emotional black mail

ScreamingValenta · 03/10/2018 20:09

"I've asked around but I haven't had any takers, so it's not going to be worthwhile hosting the event at my house. I wanted to tell you now so you have plenty of time to make other arrangements. Sorry I couldn't help."

SoutineBellhop · 03/10/2018 20:11

What Gobbolino suggests. I haven’t a great deal of sympathy for this MLM party nonsense, which relies on other people putting themselves and their friends and family to trouble and expense for someone selling vibrators or Tupperware instead of getting an actual job.

NonaGrey · 03/10/2018 20:15

“Dear X, I’m not comfortable hosting this kind of event. Best wishes Yx”

^^ That’s what I say. I don’t attend these kind of events either, there is always pressure to buy some overpriced nonsense.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/10/2018 20:27

If friend 'B' is hoping to build up a small business, she needs to grow a thicker skin. I think Nona and Gobbolino are right, friend 'A', can't afford to pussyfoot around, and needs to keep the text short, and direct.

cheesefield · 03/10/2018 20:32

Oh god, another MLM bot.

I'd say I'm sorry but I'm very uncomfortable putting my loved ones in an awkward position where they feel obligated to buy something under the guise of a social event. I don't want to be involved.

OneToThree · 03/10/2018 22:49

I’ve changed my mind about hosting a party. Thanks but no thanks.

ellendegeneres · 03/10/2018 23:07

I’d Hun her off.

‘Hey Hun, not going to do any parties, got far too much going on and nobody has any money these days anyway have they! But since you’re so good at all this, I’m sure you’ll have no problem booking up lots of dates 😊
Just about to jump in the shower so I’ll chat with you later! 😘😘’

Job done. Hun.

Molokonono · 03/10/2018 23:09

'Hi. Party is a non-starter i am afraid. Catch up with you soon. OP'

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