18th Birthday card wording

[Borris]

My lovely (much younger) cousin is 18 soon. She was adopted into our family as a baby.

I was thinking of writing “I’m so pleased you are in our family. The xxxx family would not be the same without you”

But then I’m sat here wondering if that’s appropriate or whether it feels like I’m making an issue of her being adopted.

I would hate to cause offence or upset.

So thought I’d ask the mumsnet jury what the consensus is.

Yes, I think it sounds like you're making a point of her being adopted.

Something like "We all love you so much" or something would be better.

No! The point is to celebrate the fact that she's turning 18, not that she's a member of your family. Would you put that in a birth-cousin's card?How about 'happy 18th, love you loads'?

First reaction is it’s a bit awkward. It’s not offensive but easy enough to reword it to remove all doubt.

Struggling to come up with something alternative, I’m sure someone will - but I think there’s got to be something that articulates how important she is to you without referencing the “family” bit which could be perceived badly.

I think probably something more like what Little said is better. Of course your family wouldn’t be the same without her and it’s lovely that you feel like that but it’s one of those things that should be so obvious it’s not actually said. If you see what I mean.

How about something like 'so proud to have you as my cousin'? That seems like something you might write in a blood relation's card, whereas yours doesn't quite.

Thanks everyone. I had a niggly feeling it didn’t seem quite right written down.

I will go down the love you loads line and leave the rest unsaid.

Thanks for the wise words

I'm an adoptive mum and I'd think it was a bit weird. She should be very much part of the family now - not someone who feels like she's welcome in someone's family, which is how your wording came across a bit.

I like LisaSimpsonsbff's wording.

Or 'I'm so lucky to have you as my cousin'

You sound like a lovely cousin btw. I hope you all have a lovely celebration

I wrote in DS's card "I'm so proud of the man that you are becoming". Could something like that work?

Happy Birthday; you have filled a place in my heart I never knew was empty!