Have I done the right thing by my son?

[ohgiveitadayoff]

My son is two in December when I was pregnant his dad wanted him aborted and didn't speak to me throughout my pregnancy or after I had him.
I then went to child maintenance and he started paying £150 after a lot of fuss he was never interested in meeting him.

I moved back up north near his dad and I arranged for them to meet they met twice. He wasn't really interested in ds that much just wanted to get me back in to bed. He made up lies and reported me to social services so I moved back down south to be with my mum.

He stopped paying child maintence last year December and now they have decided to take it out of wages he wants a dna test and wants to see him.

My OH wants to adopt ds he's the only dad ds has ever known and they adore eachother.

When his dad emails me I ignore him because it usually turns into some kind of argument or abuse. He's not on the birth certificate because I could never get in contact with him when I had ds.

I just kind of want to know whether I'm doing the right thing for ds. His dad lives over two hours away I've told him if he wants to see him take me to court. I don't see why I should disrupt our family life for someone that has never shown any kind of committed to him before.

I don't know if things have changed, but when my DH wanted to adopt my DS who he'd raised from 9 months we were told his Father needed to consent.

In my case it was a bit different as Father wasn't on the birth certificate but even so Social Services pushed for consent. In the end we went to court and thankfully a judge sided with me that the Father had no involvement and would just make things more complex so the adoption went ahead.

You are doing right by him, of course you are, let him go to court, I'd bet large sums he wont be arsed.

@SistersOfPercy I really hope I am, how long did the whole process take? Ds Dad isn't on the birth certificate.

Sorry OP but he has repeatedly told and shown you he isn't interested so I don't know why you ever pursued any contact with him. Just let the only dad he's ever known adopt him. Don't tell him he can take you to court for access, he doesn't want it.

It took about 18 months to complete. To this day I don't know why SS insisted on his birth Fathers consent. He'd never even met him as I left the relationship at 7 months. Hopefully the system has a little more common sense now.

I suspect as his Father has had some involvement you will need his consent for an adoption, though hopefully someone with more knowledge will be along soon. You might be better reporting your OP and asking HQ to move this over to relationships where you'll get a better response.