WWYD, 7yo and classmate.

[AvoidingDM]

One of the "popular" kids in DS's class has said to DS "you can only play once you get 10 class points". He's said other similar things before.

I can't even decide if it's bullying, forming a clique, or trying to exclude. Nor can I think where it's likely to lead.

However I've told DS to ignore and play with other kids.
Wwyd?

I would ask “do you want to play with someone who only wants to be friends if you have 10 points? What if he/she said he would only play with you if you give him money, would you want to be friends then?”

And encourage him to find friends who are actually friendly and pleasant rather than low level bullies. I’d use it as a handy discussion on types of friendship and I’d only go to the teacher if your DS was being excluded by other children or was genuinely distressed.

Ozgirl thanks for your reply.

While I certainly thought it was only a step below wanting to ask for money or toys. I haven't mentioned that thought to him.

He's certainly not distressed and does play with other kids. But he seemed excited by being allowed to play if.....which actually worried me more.

I'd be having a quiet word with the teacher. Not acceptable.

I have an 8 year old son as well and we have lots of chats about what makes a good friend, how to be a good friend, what he likes and dislikes in other people etc. So sometimes having tricky friendship things to deal with is kind of a blessing as it makes him realise how easy and pleasant it is with his real friends.

I’d be very clear to him that the other boy acting like that is pretty awful and that friendship isn’t about being allowed to play (or not).

Parents night is in the next few weeks. I think i will bring it up then.

Kids friendships are so tough to deal with. It has to be the hardest part of being a kid.

Parents Eve isn't very long and I would t want to take up that time tbh