Friend on remand in prison - help please

[otterturk]

Hi everyone,

My best friend has gone missing and we have now found out he's on remand (nothing violent).

I'm so worried about him - does anyone know how you can visit if they haven't put you on a list? He's obviously ashamed and hasn't let me or his family know, we had to fight to get this info even.

Any advice hugely appreciated.

There’s a crime section with a long running thread about help when someone is in prison. Hang on...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/crime/2831982-what-to-take-to-prison

Try here!

He obviously doesn't want to see you. Can you write to him?

He does, he will just be scared and ashamed. Thanks for advice I'm going to walk down there tomorrow and take a letter

He might feel better once you have written to him. Don't push to see him, but let him know that you're there for him and you want to keep contact with him. He can write to you and make calls to you.

He might be feeling embarrassed and ashamed and struggle to let you see him in prison. Do you know if he's on remand until trial or until the next hearing?

You need a visiting order to see him. Try writing to him, and see what he says. He might not feel like visitors if he hasn’t been in touch.

:( So sorry you're having to experience this.

Worth noting that sometimes things take a long time to be processed so you may find that there may be a lot of waiting at the start whilst vistors / phone numbers get added to the authorised lists etc.

If you know where they're being held you can write to them by putting their full name and date of birth on the envelope and then addressing it to the governor of the prison. If you include your full address and phone number in the letter it may help with getting you added to the list of authorised visitors and phone numbers they're allowed to call (different places have different rules). It will be easier for them to write back if you include a self addressed stamped envelope and a blank sheet of paper or two.

Once you have their prisoner ID you can start doing things like booking visits and sending money. Visits may be rare so worth co-ordinating with their family to ensure the slots are filled as efficiently as possible.

PP have put a link to a thread which is really useful. Also worth contacting PACT (a charity) to just talk to someone so you can wrap your head around how it all works.

Best of luck!