Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

How can I help my bullied son?

10 replies

BlackWatchBelle · 02/10/2018 12:49

My son has been bullied by a horrible child in his class since he started at his school in year 2. He is now year 4 and its still going on. Lots of verbal aggression and pushed when playing at lunch. The bully has picked on several children but the school don't appear to be doing anything. The bully tackled a class friend a few weeks ago and broke his collar bone.

My don cried himself to sleep last night saying its never going to end. His school have 1 class per year. I asked him if he wants to move schools but he said he loves his teacher and his school its just this bully ruining it.

To complicate things my son is Type 1 diabetic and this stress is having a serious impact on his health.

I have made an appointment with his teacher tomorrow, I am seperated but his Dad is coming to.

How can I best deal with this? I was bullied all through school and it made me suicidal at times. I ran away from home once. I am do emotional over it all and need some perspective to tackle this. Anyone been through this? Thanks fot any advise

OP posts:

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 02/10/2018 12:55

It won't be a popular opinion but I would tell him to hit the bully back and make sure he hurt him. Bullies want easy targets not someone who will fight back. I was bullied to the point of self harm and it only stopped after my dad told me to hit back and don't stop until I saw blood. The school were surprisingly eager to deal with it after that

Troels · 02/10/2018 12:59

didyouseetheflaresinthesky that my advice too, I told this to all my kids, told them I'd back them up every step of the way. They can't start it, but they can finish it. Sadly it's the only way some bullies will back off.

haverhill · 02/10/2018 12:59

You need to insist that the school tackles the problem properly. Arrange a meeting with the Head and be politely adamant that something must be done. Make it clear that you will not be fobbed off

PortiaCastis · 02/10/2018 13:05

My advice too, when I was being bullied I was a real mess until one time I'd had enough and set about the bully who was so surpised she was in tears saying sorry to me. i was in big trouble at school but it was worth it as she never worried me again and lost her status as queen of the playground. Give as good as you get has been my motto ever since

Original poster

BlackWatchBelle · 02/10/2018 13:06

I have tried to encourage him to finish it but never start it. He seems to think this then makes him a bully but I reassured him it wouldn't.

Been looking into clubs outside of school that would build his confidence, like Tae Kwon Do, he isn't a small boy, he is big for his age.

OP posts:

TinyLittleTextMessage · 02/10/2018 13:14

Get it all in writing and on the record - schools will do anything to avoid dealing with this stuff until there is a formal record - and then they have to tackle it. Don't be scared of involving governors or anyone else.
TaeKwonDo is not good for self defence - I know because I have 2 children with black belts in TKD. Try looking at Krav Maga - it's much more effective.

DaniC18 · 02/10/2018 13:24

I agree with PP. Put a formal complaint in writing to the head teacher and in the meantime enrol your DS in to a martial art like Karate, kick boxing etc to boost his confidence and if need be protect himself. I would also speak to the bully's mum if possible. Not sure if you may come in to contact with her at the school gates etc? I'm sure the majority of parents would be appalled to learn their son was a bully but as long as you are polite, calm but assertive she will hear you out even if the family arent the best x

Original poster

BlackWatchBelle · 02/10/2018 13:52

Thank you. His mother has 10 kids and is unapproachable, she f's and blinds at them and shirked off the collar bone breaking incident with the school. The boys father seems decent but I never see him, I know he tried for custody of the children that are his.

I will have the meeting with his teacher and then esculate is if it continues. I just want my son to feel safe and happy. Definitely looking into a marshal art.

OP posts:

SkintAsASkintThing · 02/10/2018 14:04

God, if it's that bad his health is being affected it's time to change school.

noeffingidea · 02/10/2018 14:48

Skint he doesn't want to change school, and why should he be forced out by a bully?
I agree about seeing the teacher, and enrolling him in a martial arts class. You could extend that to other activities as well, to build his self confidence. Also, try and give him some advice on dealing with it mentally. I know it's easy to say and hard to put into practice, but being self confident and mentally strong is a good defence against bullying.

Flip